Got this in a chainletter from a friend. This is not my work! I just wanted to share it with anyone who takes the time to read Ebby's journal. =)
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods . . .
On Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? And whose body?)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts!)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.
(Hmm . . . Something must have gotten lost in the translation . . . )
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
(But no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one . . . )
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this!)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
xd
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods . . .
On Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? And whose body?)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts!)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.
(Hmm . . . Something must have gotten lost in the translation . . . )
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
(But no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one . . . )
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this!)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
xd
