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A Deep Poem By Me And Life..? [READ ALL]

Click.
Bang.
In the blink of an eye,
her life was ended.
She just couldn't take
the teases,
the verbal abuse,
any longer.

She thought
that she had a loyal friend once.
But then this "friend"
backstabbed her
too many times.

She felt so alone.
No one here cared.

They found her
with a note clasped tightly
in her lifeless hand.
It read:
"I couldn't handle
living alone
anymore."


The bold is the poem I wrote, of course.. I just do not have a title for it yet.. The song that set the mood for my poem while I was writing it was : Hero (Red Pill Mix) By Superchick. Although the end of that song ends happy..
http://www.lyricsdir.com/superchick-hero-red-pill-remix-lyrics.html

*sigh*

This poem is how I feel all the time at school; like I just want to die. =3=;
Everyone here in this town betrays me.. And it seems like everytime I get close to someone (Brandon), they betray me too..

People don't seem to realize.. that when they harass people at school, they hurt them deeply. So much that they have..no self esteem left. They just keep picking and picking at your flaws until you are just a shell of the person you once were.

My friend Emily, was yelled at by Marissa. She was called a whore and a slut and other things.. So I got in my car with Emily in the back seat and drove away from them. Then what do I see? Emily in the back seat trying to choke herself with the seatbelt. I hit the brakes and put it in park and got out, pulling the seatbelt away from her hands. I was crying, myself. I understood how she felt, though.

I go to school and face these bitches everyday unfortunately. Ever since I was in kindergarten, I've always been called fat and ugly and s**t. I work hard to lose weight.. I don't succeed much. Though, in Jr. High, I lost alot of weight..but...I gained it all back.
I am trying, I am. Trying to be good enough for them, so they'll quit it.. I shrug off their words at school. But I get home and breakdown. I punch something hard. Like a wall. Just so I'll feel something other than..this.
I hear these stupid skinny girls at school.. "OMG! I weigh 120 POUNDS! I AM SOOOO FAT!" And I want to punch them in their face 10 times. I am about 185. Ha..Fatty, I am. Beautiful, I am not. As I said, I'm trying to lose wieght, but it's hard.
My mom constantly reminds me of my fat-ness. My dad is just an a**.

And..The Brandon thing. Yeah. He cared, or so I thought. I was loved by him and it felt great. It felt great to not feel like a useless piece of s**t. I felt..like I actually mattered. But then he crushed me. He'd rather have a skinny, beautiful girl..

My family is also major homophobes. Haha. Last night, I told my brother I was bi. He literally shuddered and said "That's just..gross and disgusting." I showed him my middle finger and walked away. I knew I wouldn't be accepted by him.

I luff Labbeh, yes. <3 Which is why I could never try to kill myself. I don't want to leave her. heart This is just hard for me to belive that someone actually cares. But i know she does. ^^

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

Anywho, this concludes my journal for today..I guess you could call this just getting some feelings out.

~Whit









User Comments: [10]
N-finiteFangirl
Community Member





Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 07:02pm


High school isn't forever. Trust me; I've BEEN there. *has weighted around 160 herslef around senior year* I know what it's like, to be torn apart by schoolmates. And I know it's worse when you encounter it at home. My dad would not stop complaining about me gaining weight--even though he himself was VERY overweight at the time. stare Hypocrit...

My point, though, is that it doesn't matter how much they shoot you down. If you want a song of how wrong those folk can be, listen to "Sk8er Boy" by Avril Laviene. sweatdrop Sorry if I mispelled her last name, but the song lyrics are perfect for how people are so shallow about not seeing who other people are within. 3nodding Besides, it's high school. Give it a year, or two, and you'll be out of there and off to college, where you don't have to worry about any of that crap. heart I know; I found some good friends when I went to college for the first time.

*huggles* Trust me, just hang in there, and you'll make it through. In the meantime, why don't you try talking to the school counsiler about all your problems? At least you'll have someone to talk to and help you out a bit, even if all you need is a shoulder to cry/lean on.


Dorei Kitten
Community Member





Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 07:09pm


*huggles Whit*.

Whit you know you are beautiful... I would beat those girls up if I was there... and if I could acully hit girls >.>, *to shiverious((sp))*

Anyways, I just want you to know that your friends are here to help you, I knew when you talked about being with Brandon again that he would hurt you, but I didnt say anything cause you were so happy...

I am glad your happy right now


- The Depp Effect -
Community Member





Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 07:12pm


TO N:

I know it isn't forever, but I won't ever forget this crap.

I have no true friends here in this town. =3=;;

I want out and away from this ******** town.

Sooo bad..


- The Depp Effect -
Community Member





Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 07:14pm


*hugs Garr* Yeah, I figured Brandon would let me down again, But i didn't want to believe that he would..
I'm trying to forget everything about him. *sigh*


CamelDejaVu
Community Member





Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 07:34pm


User ImageI understand how you feel.

I'm not exactly Mr. Super Skinny Muscle Man myself. >_>;;

You're beautiful, in your own way. Everyone is.

And everyone else, they're just retards. They need to learn to accept how other people and and there's not one freakin' thing they can do about it.

And I'm glad you wrote this journal entry. It's good to just let all your feelings out every now and then. Otherwise, if you keep them bottled up forever, it's not going to be pretty.

Remember, we're always here for you, even if we can't actually talk to you in real life.



- The Depp Effect -
Community Member





Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 07:46pm


Thanks Dark. heart heart


Mercain
Community Member





Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 08:06pm


The ones who have to insult others to feel good with themselves have an ugly personality. The victims are usually nothing that the insulters say.

And Labbeh isn't the only one. You have lots of friends who'll support you no matter what. Myself, Briana, Kevin, Garrett, Dark, and so many more. We might not always show it, but people think about you, and they are worried for your sake.


- The Depp Effect -
Community Member





Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 08:11pm


Aj, I know you guys care. I was talking about the people in this TOWN that don't care. And Labbeh, I care about her deeply, yeah.

I know you guys are here for me. It's sometimes hard to believe that though.. heart


Crystalline Sweets
Community Member





Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 09:00pm


I'm glad every now and then you have the courage to vent out these feelings. I've heard on multiple occassions from you how horrible your high school life is, dear... There are so many times where I wish I could come down and rescue you ; ; Possibly shoot all the people who destroy your self-esteem like that, because they're cruel (D< wink ... all they wish is to boost their own, make themselves feel better by making others feel crappy.

*started crying right now* Baby, I'd do anything if I could get you to come here. ;_; To help you get through your last year, and to protect you as much as possible. I wish those people would just understand NOBODY'S PERFECT... and they're just making themselves feel more and more like crap by doing this, even though they think it makes them feel better. You're gorgeous, smart, kind, and that's all of the things they would - could - NEVER be. I love you so much, I do not want you through -any- sort of pain whatsoever... I want you to smile, because you're absolutely beautiful when you smile, and you should smile for the rest of your life... If anyone takes away that smile from you I should - and will, if possible - hurt them.

So smile for me babe, and for the friends out there who DO care, not those bastards who find ridiculing people a boost for their own pitiful self-esteem. Smile your beautiful smile, and do your best to get through this, because I believe in you to be stronger than them, and I love you so much so that I'll stand beside you no matter what <3


- The Depp Effect -
Community Member





Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 09:07pm


Oh Labbeh..I'm kinda speechless right now.
Inagoodwaythough.
*sniffles*
You're the best thing that's happened to me in my life. heart


User Comments: [10]
 
 
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