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*sigh* Where to begin. First off I will state this will most likely turn out into a rant if anything. Ok, now... I guess I'll take the plunge.

I have a sticker of nachos on my hand. Yes.

I'm thinking back to some months ago. When I knew that it would have to be me to make things right. This is the event that just burned in my mind.
My dad had gone away for a week on a business trip and I think this must have happened on the 2nd day he was gone. I had gone to bed around 11:30 or so, I don't remember, but I was was awaken to the sight of my door open more than usual about 6 inches. It's usually closed. There was blinding light coming from it.
I heard sounds too. My mother was crying out in pain. (This probably isn't gonna lead on to what you're expecting so no need to worry.) I would hear these spurts of screams over and over. I looked my alarm clock and is said something like 1:30AM or something later. I could hear the cries as if they were being done on purpose to persecute me. I walk out of my room and into the hallway and notice that the hallway light, my parents' room light, and their bathroom light were all on.
Squinting from all the excess light, I stood in the doorway of where my mother was. I looked at her and said, "What's wrong? There's nothing to worry about..."
Shes comes up to me and screams,"Nothing to worry about?! Everything wrong! We could all die and you won't even (etc.)" I can't remember exact words. Just the feelings and just what I was up against. She later yelled, "What are crying about!" My door being left open and her crying out in pain were all done on purpose by her to make me feel like poo and to blame me for all things bad in life.
Not cool.

Long before that, she had also said very horrible things about me to my friend.
Called me to words that begin with "B". A baby and _itch. I felt bad for my friend who had to listen to that.

I know she had a hard life though. In my mother's home, the worst kind of abuse went on. She did find God once she left her home. When it came to raising a family though, I think things got screwed up.

Won't mention the exact things, but we've got issues that no one in the family will stand up to fix. My sister says my mom needs to see a psychiatrist to seek help.
Dad's in depression. We all have things we need to get off our chests and I hate having these tensions in the family.
I've tried, but they won't do anything to fix it. Nothing at all. Everyone is uptight and anti-social about these things. That doesn't mean I won't stop though.
There will be an end to this, even if it happens at our deathbeds, there will be a light.

I just pray for courage so that I can stand up for myself and others, which is the hardest part for me. It's all in my head what to say, but I just can't gut them out.

Well, those are some of the troubling things in my life. Don't worry though.
Remember.
Life is wonderful.
I've got love in my heart and faith in my fists.
I have a crew that I love with all my heart who join me on adventures and keep my spirits high. I'd like to thank them so much for the joy that they have brought me. If it weren't for the Lord and Piracy, who knows how things would have been.
Hey! Let's listen to Flogging Molly! Teh (Yes, teh) irish band!

If I ever leave this world alive
I thank ya' for the things ya did in my life
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll come back down and sit beside your feet tonight
Where ever I am, you'll always be
More than just a memory
If I ever leave this world alive
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll take on all the sadness that I've left behind
If I ever leave this world alive
The madness that you feel, will soon subside
So in a word, don't shed a tear
I'll be here when it all gets weird
If I ever leave this world alive

Let's be questing for those happy times alright!
^_^

Floating,
Pirate Queen May

Wootah~ I looked back at my old journal entries.
They are good reminders.

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