So I miss him something awful.
I am not sure where he stands on the issue.
Barax is still fighting to stay afloat, but if he keep shoving it all down, he'll sink like a stone. And with all of my rejections towards his advances, what can I do but hurt him more? I suppose I flirt with him because I feel bad... but I know I'm only making matters worse.
That other boy, though, is such a blessing. I hope he and I can see more of each other- it suprises me to realize that I have not seen his face since I told him how I felt that warm night at the church... over the phone, of course! I didn't have the courage to tell him in the parking lot, or in the Wawa, or in the ice room either time he waited so patiantly for my frozen tongue to thaw. I knew he wouldn't make the first move- he's too loyal. To kind. And I understand if nothing can come of this.
I worry for our mutual friend, who I fear I may have hurt in this. I adore that friend, but there is something here now that wasn't there with him- adoration doesn't always cut it, and I can't help but be sorry that he and I didn't work out.
I really am the centre of some awful stuff!
But that's ok. I'm in college it doesn't matter.
And with enough Tide, everything always washes clean
<33 Love to you hoovaloos! May your lives be blessed.
Make it a good day.
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In ten seconds, there is a 95% probability that my strength will give out. Trust in me and that 5%.
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