Okay. I've been slacking in this journal, so I will copy/paste my entry from my LiveJournal about the second happiest day of my life, yet the most fun. Then an entry for today.
8/26/06
Today was ******** INSANE! I loved just about every second of it. Not quite all of it, however.
It started out alright. Went to school, told my friends and s**t, and went through classes until my Algebra I class, where I took my test. Right after I finished it, I left. I left for MEMPHIS.
So, I went with my mother to Memphis for the concert. We got lost once or twice, but then we found it. We ended up going to Kirsten's house, and her mom dropped Kirsten, my mother, and me off at the concert so that we wouldn't have to pay for parking.
Hanging out with Kirsten for over six hours was just what I needed. That, and, well, BREAKING BENJAMIN ******** LIVE PLEASE! Seriously, though. I managed to do a lot of things I never thought I could've brought myself to do, but just being around her and hearing/feeling the pounding music woke some sort of self-confidence that was dormant inside of my mind. If I could've gotten just a BIT more, I would've been able to kiss her. But, sigh, I couldn't. I kept imagining it in my head, and there were plenty of times I could've done it. Though, since I knew BB would finish up with So Cold, I wanted to kiss her after that. As I said, I didn't manage to get my confidence that high up. Made me sad inside. Though only slightly; I had a feeling I couldn't have done it. Not yet, but next time...I hope..
Now, the problem I had tonight was with my mother. She got drunk. At the concert. Around Kirsten and me. Kirsten and I were down on the front row, and apparently my mom tried calling me during the middle of the BB act (not very intelligent..). I didn't hear or feel my phone, but I seen that she called twice after I opened my phone for a minute. After BB finished up, Kirsten and I went up to the top where my mom was, and she was out of her ******** mind. I swear it. She started yelling at me and Kirsten about how she's 'responsible for Kirsten' and such. The only thing she doesn't seem to grasp is that I was bigger than a lot of the people there, and I wasn't going to just let Kirsten go off alone in a place like that. Lots of s**t hit the fan, and eventually she started threatening me. By some act of God, we ended back at Kirsten's house, and my mother started arguing with Kirsten's. I was embarrassed, but over all just pissed. Eventually, my mom drove off drunk in a futile attempt to find her a** home. Haven't heard from her since she left, and thank God for that.
So, I ended up arranging for my grandmother to come pick me up half way to Kirsten's house. Until we had to leave, Kirsten showed me her house and her room. I also met her father, who didn't try to kill me. Then I remembered that he doesn't know what's going on between his daughter and me. It was great, though. Eventually, we had to head out, and yeah. Kirsten and I hugged twice, and then we parted our separate ways. I eventually came home, and am typing this. My back hurts.
Oh yeah. I bought Kirsten and me a Breaking Benjamin shirt. Pwnage.
---
Now, for today's entry.
Today, five years ago, I remember coming into my classroom to see my teacher in the back of the room watching his television. It was on CNN, and it was showing the World Trade Center buildings being hit by the planes. The class went back there and sat down on the carpet to watch. I remember seeing my classmates with glassy stares as their eyes were glued to the televison, horrified. It was a dark day for the United States... I didn't lose anyone that I know, but a few of my friends did.
Death is a strange thing. Some say there is a Heaven and that there is a Hell, and that your actions decide which is your destination. Well, I must ask those people this: What if you are killed in such a terrible way, as to where you cannot protect yourself and those around you, where do you go? No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes. A man will stand by his actions, no matter how dreadful, because he believes it was the best course of action to take. No man sees himself as evil in this perspective. Sometimes I wonder; I've made pleanty of mistakes in my life, and as I look back, I realize how wrong they were. However, during those times, I felt that my actions were the best I could manage. So, I wonder: Will I be condemned to an eternal damnation for my failures? I will never know, that is, until my time comes.
/ramble
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o_O I feel like making this. Hoo-rah..?
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Shadow.Of.Venca
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