Dec. 12th, 2004 05:01 pm Ges hooz bak, bak agen...
Dazza's bak, tel ya frendz, whey aye!
U may b wundrin wot haz teken me so long 2 get bak 2 upd8in me geet lyvjurnl fing. Well, it izzent me folt, man, whey naa! It woz tha fukkin bizzies, wozzen it? Kontinyooin ther ongowin kampeyn agenst me, an intafeerin wiv me hooman ritez, lyk! Fash iztz. Dis iz wot hapnd, rite?
U may rekorl dat A woz gannin 2 c sum ov da bizziez from da probashun servis around da time ov me last entri, in konekshon wiv a seeriez ov unforshun8 eventz involvin me gannin owt, gettin of me nappa, an fukkin RECKIN bus stops an s**t, an also getn in2 trubbl wiv da bownsas at dat geet gey klub, Trilley Anns, in Nu Kassel. Wel, wen A woz der, me geet probashun offisa, Missiz Dweyeah, sez dat if A get in2 enny mor trubl A wil be punishd by havin me geet laptop teken of uz! A woz not happy, as u can imadjin. A ecksplayned veree strongli 2 her dat dis woz intafeerin wiv me hooman ritez, but she had 0 ov it. She just geet sez lyk, keep ur nose cleen, Dazza, or it wil b no mor intynet 4 u. Bitsh.
So afta aal dis A woz feelin a bit stresst, rite? Ye knaa, a bit fukkin hypa, a bit radgee, lyk, a bit owt ov sortz, az Mista Hadduk wud say. So me m8 Jayk sez how man, me geet folx r owt at da fukkin budj it hotel 4 selebr8 der geet anna versa ree, so A hav da howz 2 meself! Y not c** owwa an get of ya nappa? Av got geet booz an pillz an ganj, man, itall be geet mintah! But A sez, a divvent knaa, jayk, A hav 2 wotch it ovvawise A wil not hav tha intynet to look at da macks powa syt enny mor, an he sez whey aye, man, wot kindov trubbel can u get in2 at me hows, man?
Wel.
Wot Jeyk had not telt uz woz dat he haz just got a nu skoota - not a geet minta 1 lyk wot A yoozd on me il-f8d trip 2 Annik, naa, but 1 ov dem litl go-ped fingamibobz. Now at ferst A sez 2 Jeyk, ha ha u poof, ridin arund on a fukkin kidz skoota wen u r lyk 14 or sumtin, but afta a fyoo pilz, a kuppl ov bottelz ov Bella an a per ov biftaz it lukd reel fukkin gud, lyk. An so A deesided it wud be a geet cushti eye deer 2 ryde it around tha street, at free o klok in da mornin. An akordin 2 Jeyk, hoo haz a beta memree ov wot hapnd dan me, A meyd shoor evereebodee geet knaas wot a geet cushti baari time A woz havin, lyk.
Witsh mey wel hav been a misteyk, becoz akross da street from Jeyk livz Mista Gorey, hu iz a geet bodybilda an a bocksa an a marital artist az wel, an hu iz geet feymuz 4 kikkin in ten fellaz at 1s yoozin his geet joodo an kung foo skillz, witsh iz y ne1 fukkin pikks on him even tho he iz az gey az a fukkin poof, man. U wud hav 2 b wel pist 2 tek on Mista Gorey, or Gorey da Gey, az we korl him, in a fite, man.
Now, it turnz owt that 2nite Mista Gorey haz geet just got bak from a nite owt at tha powa howse in Nu Kassel, wer he haz geet pikked up sum fukkin poof 2 do up the ars, an this poof duz not tek keyendli 2 da sownd ov me skootin abowt an geet shoutin wa-hey! cushti baari man, ya radgeez! in da street at free in da mornin, an so he geet stormz owt an startz showtin at uz, korlin uz a stoopid charva c**t an frettenin 2 stik Jeykz skoota up me ars unles A went bak in.
A woz not gannin 2 tek dat of sum poofta, so A geet laffz at him an ganz how man, get bakk in or Al runn u owwa, u geet gey poof bati bum boy geylord, tho A mey hav repeeted tha wurd poof mor often dan dat, akordin 2 Jeyk, hoo at dis poynt woz geet tellin uz 2 c** bak in an stop beeyin a radgee. A got pist of at jeyk sydin wiv a poof lyk dis, so A sez how, y r us sidin wiv dis bumboy, r u tekkin it up t ars from Gorey t Gey az wel? Bum-booooiiiiiii! At witsh poynt 4 sum reesin Jeyk fukkin runz at uz an charjez uz of da skoota, man, kan u beleev dat? An he iz seyin just get bak in da hows u fukkin wanka, an A am gannin ha! Ha! A knyoo it! U luv Gorey da Gey! U luv Gorey da Gey! U luv Gorey da Gey!
At witsh poynt Gorey da Gey turnz up an grabz uz, froze uz on2 da frunt ov his geet ka, & den proseedz 2 fukkin lamp da s**t owt ov uz, geet showtin 'stey down! stey down!' aal da tym, lyk Am gannin 2 get up an hav im. He woz intafeerin wiv me hooman ritez, man! aal A wonted 2 do woz get bak up an gan insyde, but wud he let uz? Whey naa! So he breykz me fukkin arm, pluz 2 ov me ribz, bustz me knowz, friggin dizlok8z me showlda, it woz a fukkin massaka man! Whey aye! An wot duz Jeyk do dyoorin aal dis? Aal tell u wot he duzz! He geet stanz der, geet begin pleez mista Gorey, pleez stop hurtin Dazza, he did not reeli meen it he iz just of hiz nappa man, lyk a fukkin lass lyk! Lyk a fukkin gurl! Wot a fukkin wanka. An den!
Wen da bizziez c** Jeyk telz em it woz me hoo startd on Gorey da Gey an hiz m8, an in hiz opiniyon, Gorey da Gey woz yoozin self-defenz on me wen he woz fukkin massakrin uz! So now A canna eeven get kompensayshun 4 it, man, becoz A hav 3 fukkin poofz lynin up agenst uz aktin lyk itz me hu iz da fukkin kriminal! Whey aye!
An it getz wurs, becoz ges hu els getz involvd? Dat's rite, da bizziez from da probayshun servis. Dey tek me frigin kompyoota of uz, an A hav 2 gan 2 kort, an A am put on a fukkin 6-munf komyoonitee servis orda, wer A hav 2 spend 1 nite a week helpin @ a senta 4 fukkin Aydz pashuntz, lyk! So A get punnishd 4 defendin meself from sum poofz by beeyin ekspozed 2 even mor poofz, lyk! Whey aye! Itz fookin predjoodiz, iz thiz!
da 1 gud fing abowt dis geet Aydz hos piss wot A am helpin owt in iz dat it haz a kompyoota witch can get u on2 da intynet, an afta a fyoo weekz ov workin heeya an empteeyin chamba potz 4 shitfukkaz A hav finalli imprest da manidja, Mista Gray (ges wor A korl him, ho ho) 2 let uz yooz da kompyoota 4 me web log 4 abowt harf an ouwwa. But me harf ouwwa is nerli up now, so A wil hav 2 tel u mor abowt me werk wiv theez fukkin geylordz lata, lyk. Peese, owt.
Current Mood: fukkin pist of, man, whey aye
Current Music: Fukkin Tory Amoz, lyk, A am surrouwnded by pooftaz
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IDK WHO THIS IZ BUT DEER LAHWD THAIR TYPIN MAYDE ME FELL THINGZ EYV NEVR FELT B4 IN PLASES EYED RATHUR KNOT MENSHUN redface heart scream scream scream
EDIT: I'VE READ THIS LIKE 3 TIMES NOW
I THINK I'M IN LOVE <3 <3
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