It's been a while since I've made an entry... but ... I think there's something that I need to get off my mind.
On Sunday, September 24, 2006... I met someone at my school over the popular website, Myspace. We were talking for a while, and later on in the conversation I came to discover that he lived about a 5 minute walk away from me house.
He'd always talk about maybe meeting someone time...
I'd always get too nervous... not wanting to mess anything up...
I also came to discover, that he him self...w as also attracted to guys. whee
Well... Monday came... and I saw him at school. We didn't say anything to each other, since we were both nervous.
We'd always... just glance over at one another and exchange a smile or a small wave.
Well We talked more after school, and he then asked if we should meet after shcool tomorrow...
Gathering up all my nervousness... I said yes, and so then Tuesday came.
Throughout the day... we'd still smile, wink at each other, wave... just like the day before.
then after school... I went out to the track (the "meeting" place) to find him.
He was no where in site.
I was walking back and BAM...
I head someone calling my name.
I turned around and he came running towards me! <3
so... we sat there, outside, and talked for about 45 minutes to an hour, and then he had to go home.
Well... we talked more after we both got home, and same with the following day.
When I got home from school on Wednesday... He seemed depressed about something. I asked him what, and to my surprise, he opened up his feelings towards me. I smiled at the thought of thinking... that this may be the begining of something incredible. <3333
He didn't want to go to first hour the next day... and neither did I. So... we decided to meet up and walk to his house, and just... chill there until we had to start walking to school.
Everything was perfect.
We talked for a long time, and got to know one another better.
The next days went by fast, talking more and more to one another.
Sunday... I decided to tell him... that I liked him back.
And so then... we were both... extrememly happy with one another.
But that all changed in a heart beat...
Monday (Yesterday) came... And he told me... that he didn't have feelings for me anymore. Me being a completely insecure person, I asked him what I did wrong.
He said it wasn't me at all...
Instead... it was him...
He said that I made him feel to special.
But meeting him after school and ditching a class just to talk to him.
He said he can't live up for the standereds I have.
I told him that ... if I already liked you... you obviously already reached the standerds for me.
But no matter what I said to convince him... that he did nothing wrong...
He wouldn't listen to me.
Now I feel this incredible amount of guilt... that maybe I messed up. Maybe I was too nervous around him... or maybe I said something wrong. Maybe he's not "the one?" Or maybe... I should just give it time. But one thing is for certain...
I'm not going to give up.
He made that whole week... amazing for me.
I've never felt something like this with anyone before... and I don't want that to go away from me... not now. </3
I don't want this message to sound at all in any way desperate. I just had to let lose my feelings to the people who I love the most. <33 I'll keep this entry updated as time goes on. Until then... Ilu all. <3
On Sunday, September 24, 2006... I met someone at my school over the popular website, Myspace. We were talking for a while, and later on in the conversation I came to discover that he lived about a 5 minute walk away from me house.
He'd always talk about maybe meeting someone time...
I'd always get too nervous... not wanting to mess anything up...
I also came to discover, that he him self...w as also attracted to guys. whee
Well... Monday came... and I saw him at school. We didn't say anything to each other, since we were both nervous.
We'd always... just glance over at one another and exchange a smile or a small wave.
Well We talked more after school, and he then asked if we should meet after shcool tomorrow...
Gathering up all my nervousness... I said yes, and so then Tuesday came.
Throughout the day... we'd still smile, wink at each other, wave... just like the day before.
then after school... I went out to the track (the "meeting" place) to find him.
He was no where in site.
I was walking back and BAM...
I head someone calling my name.
I turned around and he came running towards me! <3
so... we sat there, outside, and talked for about 45 minutes to an hour, and then he had to go home.
Well... we talked more after we both got home, and same with the following day.
When I got home from school on Wednesday... He seemed depressed about something. I asked him what, and to my surprise, he opened up his feelings towards me. I smiled at the thought of thinking... that this may be the begining of something incredible. <3333
He didn't want to go to first hour the next day... and neither did I. So... we decided to meet up and walk to his house, and just... chill there until we had to start walking to school.
Everything was perfect.
We talked for a long time, and got to know one another better.
The next days went by fast, talking more and more to one another.
Sunday... I decided to tell him... that I liked him back.
And so then... we were both... extrememly happy with one another.
But that all changed in a heart beat...
Monday (Yesterday) came... And he told me... that he didn't have feelings for me anymore. Me being a completely insecure person, I asked him what I did wrong.
He said it wasn't me at all...
Instead... it was him...
He said that I made him feel to special.
But meeting him after school and ditching a class just to talk to him.
He said he can't live up for the standereds I have.
I told him that ... if I already liked you... you obviously already reached the standerds for me.
But no matter what I said to convince him... that he did nothing wrong...
He wouldn't listen to me.
Now I feel this incredible amount of guilt... that maybe I messed up. Maybe I was too nervous around him... or maybe I said something wrong. Maybe he's not "the one?" Or maybe... I should just give it time. But one thing is for certain...
I'm not going to give up.
He made that whole week... amazing for me.
I've never felt something like this with anyone before... and I don't want that to go away from me... not now. </3
I don't want this message to sound at all in any way desperate. I just had to let lose my feelings to the people who I love the most. <33 I'll keep this entry updated as time goes on. Until then... Ilu all. <3
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