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Why must you bring up my past blog entries? You didn't even tell me which blog you're referring to? I've kept a blog based on my feelings for you, a blog based on daily life, and other blogs for random stuff.

Yes, I'm seeking attention from you. Is that wrong? I know that you're busy with your studies as well as work. But have you ever think about me? How am I doing? How am I surviving? Am I asking too much from you? Despite knowing that I can't always meet you because of your schedule, did I ever make a big issue about that? I truly understand about it. But I just want you to once in a while contact me. Not once a month, at least once every two weeks. Is that really hard for you to meet with my request?

Why didn't you answer me when I ask you some questions?? Why must you avoid me? Is it because you have someone else? I don't want to think negative. But you drove me into thinking about it.

Do you know how sad I am each time I saw couples outside? I don't dare to tell you that. I envy them. Keep asking myself why I can't have something like that. At least a small attention from you. I'm afraid..Afraid that you flare up at me because I'm asking too much.

Do you know I always broke down when you're not around, when I'm feeling lonely? I just can't control my tears from falling. I know I don't want to lose you at all.

But part of me says that I should let you go, while a part of me says that I shouldn't. Is it wrong to have a crush on others? But wouldn't it be alright if I don't even go out with the person whom I have a crush on? I don't know. I thought it might be alright.

I spend some months and years waiting for you. All I ask is that you contact me, especially when you're in town. That's all. Is it really too much?

And yet, you flare up at me. Never once you do that to me. You know how fragile my heart is when you do that? The moment you spit out that words, you shattered my dreams, my hope. You don't know how much tears I've shed for you and how many times my eyes became swollen.

That's why each time I meet you, I treasure the moment together. But do you? It just hurt me soo much. You know I love you.

Tell me the truth. If you really have someone, then I'll step out of your life thou it's hard for me to do so. If you hate me, tell me the reason why? I don't need a reason why you love me because I will know whether you're sincere.

But if you keep most of the things from me, how am I suppose to know you more? And once again, no I don't have other men in my life besides you. Why can't you believe me? Don't tell me all these years you never once believe in me?

I'm giving you all the space that you want. I just don't want to be scolded anymore. I'm not a kid. But that doesn't mean you can scold me wihout telling me the reason. I know sometimes it's best to let go and see if it's ours, it will come back.