I ******** miss you 
..and it seems to me that this sadness is trying to take hold and i'm getting so tired of holding it back. I wish we could stay on the phone forever until you get here...because i start to cry a little with every hang up ]:
this is so hard D:
but if i give in to this sadness what lies at the bottom? what happens when i fall D: ?
then jarrod falls with me
i cant let that happen... i wont let that happen
i can only stay strong for so long though...
33 more days....just 33 more days god and i'll be right back in his arms for 9 more days...and then the cycle repeats
but what if it gets harder the next time around? how will i handle this distance?
i'm so sad and i keep holding back my tears..because i dont want to cry..i want to be strong and just bite my lip and toughen it out
i need your prescence to know this is real..that its not a dream and that i'm not talking to no one..that when i say i love you jarrod..that no one will respond
i need this dream to come true
i'm so sad i'm so sad i'm so sad i'm so sad i'm so sad
and then its like it all stops when i hear your voice heart
but then starts again when that happiness wants to give a hug and a kiss and a cuddle goodnight
and then i cant
and then i'm sad
touch...i need to TOUCH..physical touch is essential to my well being D:
i need to be held and kept safe from this world...from myself...i need to let my pain and sorrows drain away with the perfect hug
i'm so sorry for falling apart like this
i want to be happy...for you heart my true fairytale love...worth everything i have to give....i'm trying....for you <3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
in other news...
i havent been sleeping well the past few nights and i've had some pretty crappy dreams D:
one i was being slashed with knife rulers by my parents and crying on the phone to jarrod...the other i was going to some place that was supposed to be hell and i was being cut up by a bug...and last night's i had another dream about john thinking we were still together and his mom seemed upset that i moved on and i stayed the night at john's house and then i was late to work and on my way i kept driving in circles D:
******** hell man D:
i almost NEVER get nightmares...so to get them this often is making me very unsettled D:
and i miss jarrod so ******** much i cried last night because i've been holding back my sadness about the matter too much...i still need to get the rest of it out </3
not to mention i'm so tired from this horrible sleep and i've worked the last 4 days in a row and i have school tomorrow and a test that i'm not sure if i'm prepared for in science
...so it goes
..and it seems to me that this sadness is trying to take hold and i'm getting so tired of holding it back. I wish we could stay on the phone forever until you get here...because i start to cry a little with every hang up ]:this is so hard D:
but if i give in to this sadness what lies at the bottom? what happens when i fall D: ?
then jarrod falls with me
i cant let that happen... i wont let that happen
i can only stay strong for so long though...
33 more days....just 33 more days god and i'll be right back in his arms for 9 more days...and then the cycle repeats
but what if it gets harder the next time around? how will i handle this distance?
i'm so sad and i keep holding back my tears..because i dont want to cry..i want to be strong and just bite my lip and toughen it out
i need your prescence to know this is real..that its not a dream and that i'm not talking to no one..that when i say i love you jarrod..that no one will respond
i need this dream to come true
i'm so sad i'm so sad i'm so sad i'm so sad i'm so sad
and then its like it all stops when i hear your voice heart
but then starts again when that happiness wants to give a hug and a kiss and a cuddle goodnight
and then i cant
and then i'm sad
touch...i need to TOUCH..physical touch is essential to my well being D:
i need to be held and kept safe from this world...from myself...i need to let my pain and sorrows drain away with the perfect hug
i'm so sorry for falling apart like this
i want to be happy...for you heart my true fairytale love...worth everything i have to give....i'm trying....for you <3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
in other news...
i havent been sleeping well the past few nights and i've had some pretty crappy dreams D:
one i was being slashed with knife rulers by my parents and crying on the phone to jarrod...the other i was going to some place that was supposed to be hell and i was being cut up by a bug...and last night's i had another dream about john thinking we were still together and his mom seemed upset that i moved on and i stayed the night at john's house and then i was late to work and on my way i kept driving in circles D:
******** hell man D:
i almost NEVER get nightmares...so to get them this often is making me very unsettled D:
and i miss jarrod so ******** much i cried last night because i've been holding back my sadness about the matter too much...i still need to get the rest of it out </3
not to mention i'm so tired from this horrible sleep and i've worked the last 4 days in a row and i have school tomorrow and a test that i'm not sure if i'm prepared for in science
...so it goes
Community Member
Your all's love is so.. what's the word.. I dunno, great. <3
Just great. <3
It's perfect. <3
You really should move in with him as soon as possible.
Just remember I support yew in everythin' you do <333
And I hope you get better dreams x_x
ilu <3