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An inspiring artical by Roberta Beecroft
This is about hope. What is it? Where do we get it? How do we lose it?
Hope involves trust. It means believing it's possible to get some of what you want and need in your life.
On the other hand, despair means believing that no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, it'll never be enough, that somehow you'll end up deprived of your hopes and dreams, denied your wishes.
Imagine a line, a continuum with hope at one end and despair at the other. All of us experience both ends of the continuum at different points in our lives - the highlights and the painful losses that are part of living. Most of us spend our lives somewhere in the middle, feeling a mixture of pleasure and pain, love and loneliness, enthusiasm and discouragement.
When life is going smoothly, people with a hopeful attitude say things like, "I like this. This feels great. I deserve to be happy. I'm going to really enjoy this. Nothing lasts forever and I'm going to soak in all the encouragement and nurturing this experience offers." When things are going well in the lives of people with despairing attitudes, they say things like "This won't last. It can't be real. This is too good to be true. Nothing this good ever happens to me. I won't be fooled by this. The bubble will burst. You'll see."
When the going gets tough, hopeful people say, "This is hard. It feels awful. What can I learn from this? I know it won't last forever, I'll heal, Things will change. What do I need to do or understand in order to get through this?
Despairing people in tough times say, "I knew this would happen. Life always dumps on me. It's not fair. Why me? Why try? I can't stand it. Things will never be any better for me."
Sometimes when we look around us and see sad and frightening things happening, it's tempting to get caught up in 'catastrophizing', indulging in 'this-is-awful-hopeless-terrible' kinds of thinking. While it is a mark of our humanity and maturity to feel and show concern for others, it's essential to establish boundaries and limits on our suffering.
Without boundaries, we lose our sense of clarity and purpose, and feel overwhelmed and immobilized by sadness, helplessness, guilt and anger.
Our first responsibility is to ourselves. We need to know how we are feeling and then decide what we want to do about it. We can keep ourselves stuck and powerless by focusing on the overall picture of gloom, or we can choose a specific step to take where we can make a difference and have an impact, no matter how insignificant it may seem at first.
Often, after we take that first step, our perspective shifts and we begin to feel different.
We're always free to choose our attitude - our response to what happens in life. That's our right and our responsibility. 'Hopefuls' hang on to this responsibility and refuse to give it away. It's powerful. It makes the difference between living your life and losing it.
When you give away your right to choose your attitude, you let someone else tell you how to think or feel or behave, and eventually you feel helpless and resentful. Other people don't know your unique needs and hopes ...only you know that. Others will make choices that reflect their needs and opinions, not yours.
They may try-often with good and loving intention-to get you to behave in ways that make them feel good about your life. There are several favourite strategies people use. One is threatening to abandon you if you don't comply with their preferences. Another is intruding on your life by disapproving of you or placing obstacles in your path.
To regain and maintain a hopeful attitude, remember that life is a process! There is never a point where we are finished, done, or totally mature. There are always choices, options, things to learn, people to reach to, We need one another. We're here to encourage and hearten one another in our journey.
Hope. A beautiful word. A life giving attitude. It can be for you.
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Fuzz Muffin · Tue Nov 21, 2006 @ 03:46am · 0 Comments |