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Warning: This entry is actually really ******** long. More importantly, this entry will talk a bit about things in my life that may be too much information for you to want to read. If you decide not to read, I would most likely understand. Thank you for at least reading this warning...

I just got back about an hour or so from a really great party. It was a belated Christmas party that a couple of friends of ours have every year. They also hold a Halloween party that is usually during the first week of November.

At these parties, you go and get drunk and spend the night there, kinda like a sleepover, if you wanted to.

Some of us like to hang out in the living room or the dining room of the house (a really huge Victorian house...) and just talk, eat and laugh and make jokes with each other. I also like doing this because the hosts' cat, Quigley (or Orange as they usually call him) is almost always there hanging out with us. I looove cats, as some of you may know. >_>

A few of the guests go up to the attic (a hangout where music and a pool table are) and smoke weed. My husband and I choose to not drink alcohol nor do any drugs. My husband used to drink (he is an alcoholic, but has been sober for many years now) and he used to smoke weed socially, but he doesn't touch the stuff anymore because I asked him not to and he respects that. ^___^

At these Christmas parties, gifts are usually handed out to one another. Some people buy really small and funny gifts to pass out and some actually go out of their way and try to get something for that special someone, a really special gift.

This year, with all the vet bills my husband and I have been paying, we decided to not get anyone any gifts. Even if we did, we usually just took $20 and we go and splurge on silly gifts at a Dollar Store. We expressed to everyone about this and they all seemed to have understood and they were just generally happy that we were able to make it there.

A few friends of ours, Carol and Wayne (married couple, friends of ours and the hosts of these parties), Heidi and James (married couple, friends), and Jim and Cansu (friend and Turkish girlfriend who is also a friend), actually went out of their way to get us special gifts for Christmas.

Carol and Wayne gave us a Martha Stuart bed set (beach themed) and I can only imagine how much that might have been for them to purchase... We really needed it though and we appreciate it very much, even if it won't fit our King sized bed. ^_^;

Heidi and James gave us a framed print of this painting by an artist named Margaret Phillip (or something of that sort). It is a painting of a Siamese (mp?) cat sitting next to this statue and in the background there is a faded image of what appears to be a Siamese King. The piece is supposily titled, "The King of Siam" (I can't spell...), and so we think there must be some meaning to this. We LOVE this painting and we are going to hang it in our living room. ^____^ heart

Jim and Cansu gave us a gift that surprised me... They gave us a frog themed baby meal set (or whatever you call them.) Basically it is a sippy cup, a bowl and a spoon for feeding a baby.

Jim then said that they were things that were actually given to him, but that he obviously doesn't need and he wanted us to have them because he knows that Brus and I someday want to have a baby.

No, I am not pregnant... Or at least, I doubt I am. In my last entry, I commented about my Uterus... Well, I was trying to joke that my Uterus seems to be lying to me and pretending that I am pregnant. My last menstral cycle ended on Dec. 11th. I'm doubting that I am pregnant because my menstral cycle has been irregular many times before. One time, a menstral cycle came about 60 days late. You can imagine how confused I might had been, especially after taking 3 pregnancy tests and always getting a negative result before my cycle finally came. Right now, my husband and I are not trying to conceive. We were trying for awhile last year, but we have decided recently that we are not really ready for a baby in our life. Our house is not quite ready and my husband is trying to get back to work (I'd rather not talk about this part about him, so please don't ask unless you are actually really deeply open minded and concerned and actually care about what goes on in my life. No, you don't actually have to even ask if that is the case too. xd ; )

I know from saying all of this that it indicates that I should at least talk with a doctor. I don't have a doctor right now. I haven't been to one for about 2 years now, not a general doctor anyway. I know that may seem really bad. I haven't had insurance since I got married a little over 2 years ago. The good news is that I am suppose to get medical insurance next month. Once I get that, I will definately seek out the right doctor for me and get a check up (because I desperately need one...) and to possibly see why my menstral cycles seem to be so irregular.

My fear and what my husband wants me to do is get back on some sort of Birth Control (besides condoms). This is a really difficult thing to talk to my husband about. We have different views on this.

Brus' view: He doesn't like using condoms and he would prefer for me to get back on a birth control so that I can possibly make my menstral cycle regular again AND so that he can enjoy sexual intercourse much more.

My view: I have been on birth control before (the patches). It has made my menstral cycle regular. Birth control also can make it hard for you to try to conceive when you are actually ready to try again or to try for the first time. This is my fear: I will be forced somehow to be put back on birth control and I will have to wait a long time once we are ready to try to conceive again from possibly having the birth control mess up my ability to conceive.

I have expressed my desires and fears to my husband and he still insists that I should get back on some sort of birth control. In a way, I feel like he is being selfish and not fully considering my wants or fears about this.

Perhaps we can meet some sort of compromise (if that is the word?). Maybe I can talk to my doctor (once I find one and see them) and ask if there is possibly any way I can get on some sort of birth control AND avoid any trouble of conceiving from it in the future when I am ready to not use it anymore?

Maybe there will be a way that I can make my husband not-so-selfish about this? Maybe I can get him to endure using condoms just awhile longer? xd ;

Who knows what will happen...

Lord, this has been a really long entry. >___>

I took a few pictures at the party and I would upload them and display them here now, but usually I need to restart my computer before I do this in order for my computer to be able to read my digital camera. It's kinda hard to explain...

So, I am going to post those pictures in my next entry, most likely.




If you managed to read through all of this, BRAVO! You managed to get through a serious entry, mainly about my Uterus, without actually quitting! Good job! Have a cookie! domokun heart

Question for everyone who feels like commenting, at least to answer this: Is there a way to set some sort of sign in my journal preferences that someone has commented in my journal? Just curious because some people actually respond to some of my comments to them pretty quckly...