WARING: THIS IS ME POORING OUT ME SOUL ONTO PAPER. IT WONT FLOW RIGHT OR MAKE TOATLE SENCE.
i will usethe persons gaia name, Keyona. so if u guys want to u can tell her how i feal but i dont think any one reads this, so i should be safe.
Keyona, I feel the need to express my self to you. I realy care about and love you. But when we where going out you saw the workahalic, not the fun and active guy that i am. I wish I could go back and change a few things and one of those things is the amount of attition I gave to you. I was bogged down with an Eagle project and school work and the few minutes of free time I had was spent on video games, I wish I could change the time on games into time spent with you. I saw you as a fun, active and very creative/different girl, and that set u apart from the rest. Most people saw you as a mean, self cented, and ugly girl. I admit at first i did too, but after working with u in class once I saw a very nice and quite cute person. I never realy shoud my emotints twords you because just being around you made me nerves. When you broke up with me I tock it prity hard and couldn't bare to look at u for many weeks. So I tried to barry my fealings and move on. I don't know why these fealings have reamerged now, when you are going out with some one I know. It might be because I still care about you. Am I jellous? I don't know. I care about Kim, yes but these old fealings about you have confused me as to what they mean. I wish I could express my self to some one but I am fear full of what might happen to my life. I know that I fear change and telling any one my fealings may drastikly change my life. but in secret I realy want everone to know but my fear has ahold of me so I can only write this. These fealings have sent me into a down ward spiral of depression, that the more i think about it the deeper and deeper I go.
I have some of the fealing i had for you, for Kim, but they are not as strong and have be come confuseing. It feals like im in prison and thers fealing are the walls that are closing in on me, nothing can save me. I feal that if I don't vent this soon that i may lose my self and cut my self. Keyona I still find u beautful and sweet and if not for my Iron walls that I have built to protct my self from the cruel world I would tell you in person. So if you should find this out or be told by some one els, I want u to know...
I Love You, Keyona.
fart-in-a-jar Community Member 
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