ice_kold_killer: i have a question for you
queen_fated: yesh?
ice_kold_killer: you don't wear the collar at all do you?
queen_fated: I do. Just not on Fridays and wensdays. And I take it off when I have English and geometry cause there is a b***h in those classes that pisses me off and gives me a hard time.
ice_kold_killer: kay
queen_fated: why?
ice_kold_killer: just wondering
queen_fated: kay.
ice_kold_killer: do you use the other things i sent you?
queen_fated: everything except for the gag.
ice_kold_killer: ...you said you'd use it if i sent it
queen_fated: I know. But there is no need scince just random yelling would be lame.
queen_fated: Hopefully I will be using it soon....Unless I get dumped or have to dump someone again...then it will be sent to the trsh...
ice_kold_killer: i don't get what you're saying but okay
queen_fated: LOL. Good...
ice_kold_killer: ..i still don't get why you got rid of me
queen_fated: .... I don't either...
queen_fated: Probably stress...
ice_kold_killer: was i stressing you?
queen_fated: school, you, friends, bitchs, parents, and a few bastards.
ice_kold_killer: you could have told me
queen_fated: I have problems with communicating and telling people bad things unless They don't like me or something. Scince you are far away it is easier for me
queen_fated: I can't even tell people things over the phone.
queen_fated: To me it is easier to do things on the net
queen_fated: If I hear a voice coming from that person I fall a part
queen_fated: sorry
ice_kold_killer: ..it's easier online if your crying, cause the other person will never know
queen_fated: exactaly...so don't call for the next few hours...I might end up crying...
ice_kold_killer: ...sorry..
queen_fated: It's okay. I want to just crawl in a hole and die actually. My friends think that they pay attention but they don't
queen_fated: They have thier own problems and don't need to worry about me.
queen_fated: That is why I wnat to slowly fade away.
ice_kold_killer: ..i just want to vanish, and have everyone forget me
ice_kold_killer: that way
ice_kold_killer: no one else has to suffer
queen_fated: Next year I will be going to internet schooling
queen_fated: Then I will barely see them.
queen_fated: Then when they forget about me completly I can dissappear.
queen_fated: No one will care
queen_fated: No one will worry
ice_kold_killer: ....
ice_kold_killer: ...i would...
queen_fated: I will just be a vague memory that will be in the back of thier minds.
queen_fated: Not if you forget me too...
ice_kold_killer: ...my mind wouldn't let me
ice_kold_killer: not even if i wanted
queen_fated: you would. All I would have to do is say that I was going to a foster home that had no access to the outside world...
queen_fated: Or I could go to a clinic...
queen_fated: Or I could find out that I do have dieabetes
queen_fated: Which I am trying my hardest to hold off on .
ice_kold_killer: ...it would make me feel so horrible, make me wonder, drive me insane, i would try to kill my mindstate...
ice_kold_killer: ..so i wouldn't be able to think, or feel..anything...
queen_fated: mindstate?
ice_kold_killer: the way i think
ice_kold_killer: what makes me me
queen_fated: I like talking to you.
queen_fated: You are like a perfect match to talk to
queen_fated: You think how I think, or worse
queen_fated: If we had still been dateing you wouldn't know this stuff about me..
queen_fated: WE would be in an RP right now..
queen_fated: sad
ice_kold_killer: ....
queen_fated: sad (
queen_fated: I was almost about to cry there.
queen_fated: Sorry
queen_fated: I had to make myself smile.
ice_kold_killer: i've been, for the last few minutes
queen_fated: But it's not working...
queen_fated: sorry
ice_kold_killer: ...the only one's that can hurt me...are the ones i care about...
queen_fated: I want to die now...
queen_fated: I don't want to feel anything..
queen_fated: I can do that at school when I starve by feeding those without food.
queen_fated: And by making people happy
queen_fated: But when there is no one....I feel too much
queen_fated: Why won't it stop?
ice_kold_killer: ...i'm gonna stop talking...i'd rather be silent and in pain than to hurt you with words...
queen_fated: Thats worse.
queen_fated: If your gonna do that then this will be goodnight
ice_kold_killer: ....
ice_kold_killer: there's no way i can win
ice_kold_killer: when i talk it hurts
ice_kold_killer: when i'm silent it hurts
queen_fated: you make me feel a little better.
queen_fated: You are the only one I can talk to
queen_fated: No one would understand.
queen_fated: my bf wouldn't...he might leave me and think it was helping
queen_fated: my friends would probably do the same thing
ice_kold_killer: how did you feel with me?
queen_fated: But they would do it because they gave up on me.
queen_fated: what do you mean?
ice_kold_killer: when you were with me, how'd you feel?
queen_fated: good.
queen_fated: But not as bad
ice_kold_killer: compare it to now
queen_fated: Just lonely cause there was no one here to hold
queen_fated: A lot has changed scince then
queen_fated: I might be dieing, school is harder, and everyone has made me feel abandoned
queen_fated: last time, all of that was good not bad
ice_kold_killer: .....
queen_fated: sorry
ice_kold_killer: i wish i could understand more than i do, but all i know is that life is a test, it gets hard and easy at certain times
ice_kold_killer: mistakes usually make things worse but can be fixed
queen_fated: no they can't
ice_kold_killer: big mistakes usually are harder to fix
queen_fated: mistakes can't be fixed until a person says they are dead and leaves a note behind with thier blood on it
queen_fated: that is the only time they are forgiven
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My life being Bored and being fun at the same time!
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