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I was reading over my journals a couple minutes ago and I noticed something terribly wrong with my "When Life Gives You Lemons" entry. I stated that instead of lemons, life should either give you chocolate, ninja & pirate , love, and margaritas. There are many things wrong with that, and I suggest we go back to lemons. Let me elaborate.

exclaim Chocolate: if life were to randomly give out chocolate, do you have any idea how FAT we would be?! I mean, to begin with, America is already the fattest country in the world and I swear we're throwing off Earth's rotation which is causing global warming in spots there shouldn't be. But imagine the entire Earth being like America?! Good LORD, the Earth would topple into Mars and start a planetary chain reaction or something! So... I'm sorry ladies no chocolate *washes mouth out with soap*

exclaim Ninjas: if life randomly gave out ninjas, there would be random jumpings out of bushes and people getting injured while ninjas are falling from the sky and drop kicking poor babies in the face. Pirates are also bad for life to give out, sorry Johnny Depp & Orlando Bloom fans. See, we can't have these men dressed up in outragious clothing dropping from the sky with swords in hand, because Miami would not be the number one place for stabbings anymore. Nor Downtown Orlando. The whole world would be a Miami/Downtown Orlando. Then we'd have a civil war when the ninjas and pirates get together and BAM there goes the world.

exclaim Love: too much love can be a danger, and there goes Derek's chocolatey sex law, right out the friggin window. I don't think I need to say that we can be IN love and then we can MAKE love *nudgenudge* eek No love, thank you life.

exclaim Margaritas: as much as I know most of the world would just adore margaritas falling from the sky as gracious gifts from life, we cannot have them randomly plopping into people's laps. That is a driving hazard... just one big hazard all together. Of course, America would probably be the only people being the hazard, along with some other minority countries, because Europe can actually control themselves. I'm not sure about Asia, but I'm sure at least half their country can control themselves. I hear Japan's a lil crazy with their saki over there, but I'm not all together sure.

THUS, this therefore leaves me with the fact that, although the other options would be nice, lemons are safe. Lemons are sour, yellow, and fun to chuck at people. So what the hell, smite me o' mighty smiter with thy lemons.

Theend.