cry I don't know why, but i'm really sad today...
Last night, my boyfriend told me he was having doubts about our relationship. He said that if they were still there in a year, he's going to break up with me. When he said that, I stood there in complete shock. It wasn't until I laid down to sleep at midnight that what he'd said sank in. I cried, sobbing soundlessly into a pillow.
Now here's my problem: I've given my whole heart to him. I'm not holding anything back and I have no doubts about our relationship anymore. After our last serious fight, which was about hunting, I realized that I got angry at him because he had chosen family tradition over me. And I realized how stupid I had been. It was then that I came to an understanding with myself: I'm more than in love. Now my logic may be screwed up, but that's what I discovered about myself that day.
To have him say that to my face, to say that he doubts me, opened some wounds that had healed. I sit here now, tears brimming in my eyes, with an audition only minutes away, not knowing what to do about my feelings. I'm afraid I'll scare him away by speaking my mind, but it could also ease a few of his doubts (maybe). When I tried last night, the words wouldn't form.
Love can be life's toughest opponent...you can't beat it when it comes, and when you do, it hurts...
 Earths_Eclipse · Fri Dec 15, 2006 @ 04:28pm · 0 Comments |
