i had such a weird dream last night
something about a swimming class in school and i was basically stalking sian and whitney was acting like a whore with a group of other girls in this section that was all jungle like with a giant waterfall and we all had to swim under this rope thing wearing a life preserver except sian because of the number 15 or something and when i finally got to the other side geoff said something in his a*****e tone
and then there was another dream that i dont think i was in except i had the power to change peoples eye colors actually, now that i think about it, it was like i was dreaming a daydream. . . . everyone had periwinkle eyes exept there was a tiny bit of aquamarine in the guys eyes i dont remember what the one guys hair looked like but i remember there was a girl with short black hair (like to the chin) and a guy with traditionally cut black hair and i decided i wanted someones eye color to change so that not everyone had blue eyes and his were the only ones that would look alright with another color so made them a reddish brown and for some reason he had pink around his eyes like he was wearing make up or something and there may have been another girl but i dont remember o and they were climbing this rocky cliff above like a soccer field or something (and i dont really remember well, but i think there was a point where they were on the field too and i think there was something about being trapped down there) come to think of it, i remember something about. . . . o wait, the cages was going to be one of the things wed hafta do in swimming class. . . . .
there were shark cages and o the girls locker rooms/bathrooms were closed off so i couldnt decide if i should change or not and everyone was changing in the jungle-ish area which had a giant plexi-glass wall between it and the pool. . . . and you had to enter through doors on either side. . . .
anyways, back to the people on the cliff. . . . i remember something a omg wtf something about rooms that were all moody looking and in the corner of one okay there definitely was another girl in the corner there was something like a spine only it was supposed to hold spirm or something and it wasnt filled up so they had to inject spirm onto each little prong/spikey thing and then it went onto godzillas tail and another godzilla was lowered in a bubble hanging from a helicopter by a rope and their tails locked and they had secks and shortly after that i woke up
and to think, all i did was watch DEXTER, the series about a serial killer who kills killers and works in the blood spatter department of the police, with geoff until 5am and then listen to the birthday massacre all night and morning. . . .
o and i finally wrote my essay for my CCAD application. . . . i dont know if im going to send it by mail or online yet. . . . my recommendations arent on the computer, they are on paper, already printed by the teacher and i dont know how im going to send in my portfolio or what pieces to send in and the other part of the application still needs to get done
then the rest of break will hafta be spent on my two art projects that i havent started yet
and ill hafta worry about my SCAD application some other time
when we get back, i think i only hafta take 2 exams, though i think im supposed to take all of them and decide later which ones to eliminate. . . .
and lets see. . . . all of break ive been overstressed and very depressed well, except for the time that i spent hanging around people though i still felt the stress it was a good distraction
i love ice skating i want to go back and get pictures of the shadows for one of my art projects if i get a chance o and today there was a rainbow and a heart on my ceiling XD
o and christmas eve was alright except that i got really pissed off ugh ill finish later, the mu wants to leave now -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- okee so christmas eve, i went over to one of my 'aunts' (on ricks side of the family) houses and did the usual christmas thing. . . . i.e. there was a ton of sweet food that i opted not to eat and everyone except for my other 'aunt's' family was there we played pictionary and there were tons of stories from rick's and his bother's and sisters's childhoods that were shared actually, i like this aunt . . . . often times shes even related to me but usually not in a good way rick and his brother used to bug the s**t out of her too and there is always a story about how she hated camping and id get a slight look from rick or you could see what he was thinking just by looking at him but what was worse was when theyd talk about how she used to slam doors to make sure everyone knew she was angry and thats when rick gives me this annoying grin and this horrible look like 'see youre just like my sister' and they all thought of her as a b***h pretty much so i got really angry and wanted to just kill him or slap him or something. . . .
then christmas day i went to my 'mom's' mom's house i went over early with 'mom' after helping her take care of greg's friends cat which was a stray around our house before that so i went over early and helped prepare food, label packages, take pictures of the tree and other stuff like that. . . . it was. . . . pleasant. . . . then everyone got there and i had to hang out with the lil cousins and geoff and greg. . . . i always feel so awkward around lil kids. . . . and adults. . . . i never know how i should act around them. . . . but anyways . . . . so all of that was alright except for being really awkward and bored. . . . of course i had my brand new digital camera to play around with but i had to be careful cuz the cousins like to take things and play with them especially cameras then we all ate it was pleasant though i got some s**t for not wanting to try certain foods and then finally everyone decided it was time to go home cuz they had to get up early for work and stuff so the uncle and cousins and aunt left and greg and rick and geoff were going to leave and i was left with having to chose between going with them in the cold van or staying and helping out for the next hour or two with 'mom' and then taking the warm car home its a good thing i stayed although i was tired and bored out of my mind
whats really bad though is everything thats been on my mind lately i mean sure nothing made me feel more angry and hurt than when rick gave me that look damn he even nodded. . . . but what i was getting at was things like old memories remembering loving christmas opening tons of presents and being so excited feeling almost no guilt over getting an expensive gift nowadays i open something and feel so bad for having even asked for it and then there is remembering snow and how much fun wed have sledding and building snow forts and snowmen and coming in and drinking hot chocolate and fighting over sitting in front of the fireplace
and then other memories come to mind things not related to christmas but rather just to other random things i want to tell someone about the horrible thoughts that crossed my mind as a child but i dont know of anyone that i should tell. . . . i mean, its useless knowlege to anyone else and i dont really know what good or bad it would do for me if i did tell it could be like any other secret that ive ever told where at first i feel really relieved but then i feel so much regret over having revealed it ugh it really doesnt matter its just thoughts thats all nothing more
anywho, my emo is catching up to me. . . . so, i think ill just go try and daydream or something. . . . maybe ill get to sleep before 4 tonight. . . .
Unni Ineo · Wed Dec 27, 2006 @ 08:55pm · 2 Comments |