|
Where the heck did this spawn from.....thouhgts fo....? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
maybe it started when i listened to a song i enjoyed. or the blip of nothing ness that entered my mind just then. the fact of life before me again. looking through the glass of like. its like a story book with no music for background. was it so wrong to want somthing to happen if it made no sense and there was no purpose behind it? like wanting to just see what it was like to swallow a bottle of sleeping pills or to try extasy or make a pile of paper dolls or listen to music you hate, cut the skin so it bleeds blue, lock yourself up in a place of darkness and fill it with water until you can taste copper in your mouth from your lungs bleeding and letting it swarm throuhg your body.
i press my fingers against the glass and it feels like years have passed, your beuty shining through me and peirciung me like a thousand knives. then the image melts away to your feet, the glass breaks and stick in you like knives until your body is numb. wake up in a bed with white sheets, but they are blue because you bleed blue. body cold, lips on fire. ever wanted to lie down in a fireplace just to know what it felt like to burn alive? or throuw yourself infront of a bus, curious to know what your go through your mind? to kiss a dead person? to stay out in the rain until it felt like your bones themselves were soaked through like a sponge filled with water. shock yourself or inhale something toxic. brain heavy and eyes blurred. who knew that drugs would have such an effect on the human body. people all around, using you because you are hardly contious of it. was it the drugs or the fact you are so distant? from everyone. water leaks from your pours and your body. cant even breathe beacuse your body is ice. frozen in time for people to look at. nobody cares, nobody can hear you. the ice melts one summer day and your heart is gone. you see the one you love but you cant touch them. they are miles away in a differnt time. only go forward. walking down a road. a post card showing your journey. writing on the back, its hard to make out. what will she think up next? a fan infront of you blowing away everything. ******** you. why exist in the first place. falling. the world is a blur of colors and then nothing. its dark but the space is hot and cold at the same time. pins and needles everywhere, even those places unspoken of.
a woman. ears and a tail. she giggles and runs through the twisted space seen before. she smiles. its a sweet smile. one to make you want to help those you see around you. her eyes bright, deep, secretive and inviting. follow.
the world gets more inviting. the trees stop poking you and the skuirrles arent chittering about the radio counting down your death on highway 7. is there a highway 7? the trees are glowing white. everyhting was glowing. it was like a scene out of Final Fantasy 7. the girl that had been followed, she was clearly naked now. a black/brown cross of colour on her arms with cat paws and on her legs, paws too. pink hair illumpinated in the glowing, a slender tail swishing from side to side and ears poked out on top of her head.
"Neko....?"
she turned and smiled back at you. you know her. she was something you treasured once. she was once...you. she was something people needed, something special. she was a passion of you, your other half. but why was she here?
you continue to follow because you know her.
she was beutiful..
she was a face you saw in a crowded place and you had to look again.
she was so different, just the way she looked.
then it was lighter than before and suddenly she stopped. suddenly the air is filled with music. it sounded like James Blunt, a big hit singer, someone who was a passion for you in a way. the area ahead is light and familliar. you go towards it, she is right infront of you now. maye b you misplaced her somehow. maybe you just lived and lived and the true you got lost inside somewhere and you needed to find it.
she approches and its hazy. then she is gone. but a smile whipes across your face. maybe you are high?
"da la la laaaa"
"you're beutiful..."
"its time to face the truth.."
you walk forwards and the world errupts infront of you. its like a tidle wave of sound and light and people all around. but in a second you see they are people you know. they are your family and friends. they are all happy. suddenly you are happy. suddenly you see. she found you when you looked for her. she came back on her own will.
the feeling of wanting to be drugged faded and there was a sense of wholesome there and happiness was something familliar. sometimes when she was losing herself, she could not help people. but when she found herself, she felt like she could do a million things and it was all right and everything ewould work out the way it shoudl. truth, passion and love were all there.
"Neko!"
"yes?"
"I'm glad you are back..."
"I know."
"why did you leave?
"sometimes we all need to leave and go to a place where we most feel like ourselves."
"I see. i understand now."
"dont forget you are here and that you wont ever lose yourself as much."
"thank you. i dont know what i would be without you."
"Do you remember who founded me in the beginning, made me possible?"
"No.."it was a boy you knew and loved who started it for you and everyhting spawned after with the people who knew you best. you have your freinds to thank."
I smiled at her. "I know."
 Adiiru · Fri Dec 29, 2006 @ 04:46am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
