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It comes to me that people look up to me for certain qualities. One other thing is that I am looked up to by people. As a positve role model. I am not a role model. My life is not one for the weak or strong. My life is a curse and gift. But what am I to compare it to? I have a noticeble face on the outside of the converstaions but also work backstage to keep things together or how I see them to fit. What makes my life difficult is that I keep things in balance and the worse part of my life. I have no dreams or goals. My firends are the only thing that gives me any reason. Once they go then all I can say is that I will not be a person that pissed me off.