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its true I freak out and panic a lot cuz I don't know anything..I don't know how to write a check I don't know how to balance a check book I don't know how to drive I don't know anyone who can teach me to drive..I don't know what a penison plan is I don't know anything about paying for things online using credit cards..I don't know how to get good credit and I don't know how I'm gonna pay for anything when I can't get any help from anyone besides Jeremy. I hate having to ask him for help cuz he always helps me and I can give nothing back in return. I don't have anything. I can't get an alternative loan for school cuz no one in my family has good credit and no one can help me pay for college and I feel so useless that I can't do anything...i'm always asking people for help. I feel like a loser cuz everyone has their parents doing everything for them and I gotta figure it all out myself and I feel like i'm gonna get lost or left behind and then and then something bad might happen to me. I've always had to fend for myself. I never had parents that could take care of me. I had to work for everything and I never got to play. I had to pay for my cell phone too when I got mine I didn't get mine for free..and I don't get anything for free so yea I am terribly jealous of some kids..I know tons that can have their parents pay for their car insurance, cars, phones, college, and the list goes on..I got zip from my parents so I got a job and tried to pay for some stuff. It's helping but I practically stay in my room cuz I can't afford to go anywhere and I just don't know why God cursed me with such a life. What did I do to deserve it? And if I'm such a bad person why did he not destroy me? I guess he wanted me to live miserably..sometimes I feel agnostic cuz I don't feel like God is ever helping me but everyone else..*sighs* I just wish I knew what I can do to make things right.