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I have been dating my bf for almost 4 years now, and I feel like it's going nowhere ... actually, I feel like it's at the end. I used to be able to think into the future and see him there, but now I don't know if I can see myself with him. All we do is fight, argue, and hurt eachother's feelings. maybe because he doesn't show any ambition for doing anything with his life. He has all these plans and he wants to do all these things, but he does nothing to make them happen. He sits on his all and expects everythign to just fall into his lap.

I'm sick of always hearing that things will change. But in reality it doesn't matter how many times I pour my heart out to him, how many times I tell him that I want to leave, or how many times he breaks my heart by not keeping his word. This morning he told me that he would work on things ... I've heard it too many times to count and I don't believe him one bit. Everytime we get in a big fight I get upseet and he tells me that the'll work on it and that he'll change. Then he's good for 2 days because he's scared that i'll leave him, and two days later we're back in the same ******** slump.

I live with him and his parents so it's impossible to escape a stressful situation. If I get into a fight with him I can't just leave the room and be alone, I have to leave the room and get annoyed to the ends of the earth by his ******** mother. He knows I hate living there, and he's even admitted that he's pretty much forcing me to stay there. He knows I have nowhere else to go, and I think he takes advantage of that. When I say he takes advantage of it, I mean that he feels like I won't leave, so that gives him time to slack off and treat me like s**t.

It's unfair to me that he doesn't think about things before he says them, or that he gets spiteful and only want to hurt me when he's upset at me (all of which he fully admits to). I know I have a bit of a problem with anger and flying off the handle. But i've worked on it. When he pissed me off, or was doing something that bothered me I would just automatically snap. Now i'm to the point where i'll ask him nicely first to stop, or i'll tell him that he's making me mad and if he doesn't stop that i'll snap. And well, a good percentage of the time, he doesn't stop, and then I snap. And he acts like it's my fault. You can only push a person so mcuh before their going to push back. We'll fight, he'll blame it all on me ... say hurtful things and be a spiteful a*****e, and then 20 minutes later he appologizes and says that it isn't all my fault (after the damage is already done) ... how is that fair to me?

I really don't know what to do. Part of me thinks it's best for me to leave before I get in deeper and deeper. But then there is the other part of me that loves him with all my heart. Am I selfish for wanting to be with somebody who wants to do something with their life? Am I selfish to not want to be blamed for every fight, and argument? What do you do when your heart is pulling you in, and your mind is telling you to get out? What do you do when you've spent 4 years of your life with somebody and it doesn't seem to be moving forward? What do you do when you have nobody to console you, and nowhere else to go?