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I hate it when he has to leave for work..its hard saying goodbye never knowing what will happen..I mean I freaked out when he got in a car accident
how will I ever know that one day I'll say goodbye and he won't be there? and I'm a million miles away. I don't get to see him everyday..I get depressed too easily and I'm always alone no one is ever here..and all my family is down in california I wish they hadn't forced me to leave. I didnt want to move to oregon it wasn't my choice. I didn't want to go to college or to a christian one. its not fair. my life is already being chosen for me and i don't get a say. I can never get a car can't afford the insurance and I cant get a better job without a car. I can't get a phone cuz I don't have credit and I can't get credit while in school..grr..its frustrating how far I go to get things down. What is this? am i supposed to be poor, sick, and always in pain? I have to get another surgery too probably and I don't wanna I can't stand the fact that I can't eat for 2-4 months..and I don't want the pain..I don't want it. I almost died last time..I went down to 60 pounds..in one week. I fainted, I got dizzy, I threw up, I couldn't eat, I had pain everywhere, I went to a theme park and nearly fainted geez..don't doctors care about your health? Like what happens if I die this time? whose gonna be blamed certaintly not them.