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why do I even try to make things better, why even bother thinking things will get better. Whats the point of trying to make myself belive things are going to get better if I know their not... things are never going to get better or at least thats what it seems like. I've lost all hope so why bother even try to make things look better, whats the point of painting on a fake smile every morning, forceing myself to laugh, trying so hard to make my eyes twinkle with happiness so no one knows anything is wrong, hiding my wrists so my parents never see what I've done before, hiding bruises I've made myself, staying up late thinking so hard that I cant do anything but cry, why bother say I love you to anybody I know I'll never hear it back, why even type this, I know no one cares, not like soemone is going to read it then come over and tell me things are fine, no one ever calls so why should I call anyone... nobody cares anymore so why should I?