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Some of these stories may get grusome, but I wrote them and I would like feed back. Good or Bad. If you do tell me it's bad, tell me why. I'd like to know what to improve on. Thanls a ton.


Love Isnt Everyting
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Blood

The girl with the red hair looks at the boy standing across from her, as she lowers herself into the half filled bath tub.
“You don’t have to do this.” He says as a single tear falls down his pretty face. She takes his hand caringly. She smiles, the best she can under the circumstances. It was week, but she managed.
“Promise to tell no one. Don’t call anyone, I need this.” She explains as the lukewarm water begins to soak threw her clothing.
“I promise…” he says, and kisses her forehead. The water had now fully soaked threw her dress. He looks down at her; her dress was now floating eerily. They had bought it new, for this special time. He looked out the bathroom window, then to the toilet seat. Where they had put the objects they would need. She took her hand from his and reached for one of the tools. She held it for a moment, and twisted it in her fingers. It shimmered in the light. The silver that reflected the sun light entranced her. The boy, who was kneeling next to the bath tub, closed his eyes, trying to find some way, some way to talk her out of this.
“It’s no use; nothing you say will change my mind. I need to do this.” She says reassuring both herself and the boy. “I love you.” She says readying herself. A single tear falls down her cheek, as she readies the blade…..to her wrist. One single stroke and the red silky blood flows from her body, into the bathtub. Slowly, the blood begins to over take the water, encroaching every corner. Another tear fell down the girls face as she hands the boy the blood stained blade.
“No, please, don’t make me do this.” He cries as he tries to put the blade down.
“Do it.” She begs, her voice becoming hoarser by the second. The boy breathed deep, and held the blade in his quivering hand. She put her other wrist weakly up to the blade and slid it across. The tub became increasingly darker as the girls breathing slowed shallowly. Until, at last, it stopped completely. The boy gently tucked a piece of the girls flaming red hair behind her ear. More tears ran down his face as he looked back to were the blade had first been. Were there now lay a pistol, with a single shot. He had taken it from his father a week earlier. He picked it up and looked at it for a long moment. It seemed to talk to him, telling him that it was all for the best, that he had to, to be with her, this was the only way. He reached over the tub and took her bleed limp hand. “I love you.” He whispered, then kissed her hand and put the gun to his head……and pulled the trigger.
~Clash~
The gun fell to the floor, followed by a puddle of his blood. It creped along the floor, like snakes trying to get away from the light. A note lay on the counter.

To Whom It May Concern,
If you’ve found this note, you have stumbled
among a gruesome scene. But it is all for the best, now we can truly be together……Forever.
Signed,
J.N.
S.P.


Story By,
Jill Park

Last Update: 2/20/07





User Comments: [1]
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comment Commented on: Wed Mar 19, 2008 @ 02:03am
is that a story? will if it is what happened next? eek eek question question burning_eyes burning_eyes biggrin biggrin mrgreen mrgreen lol lol whee whee 3nodding 3nodding


User Comments: [1]
 
 
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