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The final thoughts Ok..some one loves me..besides whos sopesed to...what do i do about this..nothing?..everything?....I just dont know. If it ever dose happen. Will i be waht she thinks I am..will I satisfy her needs. And if it dosent will I be the cause of her misery..or maby even death. Would I be the reason to stay and fight..or fade and die. How many times do I have to have nightmares about my wakeing thoughts. its starting to take houres to fall asleep now. I curl up..I wait..I want to dream like I awalys do. But my night is filled with nightmares..my heart with dread. Im...Im scared for what may happen. Im terafied that im gonna wake up one day..and get a call telling me ones dead and the other dosent want me..or worse.. one has threatend to kill her self and one asks to marry me. Then theres the bigest question. What makes me so desireable. Im a 14 year old battler with acme and mental problems..do they see that..wanting to place band aids on things and make a name fro them selves...or are they looking for love close to home. Am I insane and dreaming a** this..am i traped in a white jacket somewere as my sick fantasy plays out...or is ebery one else just dreaming of me. The angle of death to relive them from there sins. Im not all they think i am. Im just....just Jonah. My sister si my only gide through this..and one of her songs she showed me keeps playing in my head...Listen to your heart...What should I do. I cant ingore one or the other. A choice has to be made. I thought my choice of " if it ever happens well try it " would work...but now i see that causes more pain then it heals

Posted by: Rekin Wolfblade Sat Feb 24, 2007 @ 01:08am

Star-light
Star-Bright
Last time Im in this Fight.
For you I cried well into the day.
For you I cried well into the Night.
For you no more I'll cry and fight.

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PaganDominatrix
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Commented on: Sat Feb 24, 2007 @ 01:34am


	Oh Jonah, I hate it when you're so sad. You're like my little brother .. or a really close friend. I don't know what to tell you, I haven't really 'TALKED' to you in a really long time. I wish you'd call to talk to me sometime, I understand more than people give me credit for.

Commented on: Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 01:12am


	Rekin-chan... huggles Everything will be fine... Trust me. Little sister Aya is here now... It's good that you've gotten all this out, it's your first step, and now, you know what's up next. I've told you before, multiple times at school, over MSN, on the phone.. everything... Just remember that I'm here for you, no matter what you decide is right. What you thin kis right for you, is what is right for you... heart Little Sister Aya <3's you! ^_^ heart Remember always..... No matter what.

Aya the Small
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Xx Lushrocker xX
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Commented on: Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 01:45pm


	Hugs I feel bad that your going though all this..if someone commits suicide, fr something lie this, it wont be because of you. if it was me, id be upset for a while, but..ya know? You stay with someone because you love them, otherwise, things go worse. If you stay to look after them for any reason, and there is no love, the situation gets worse. omg..i can...se....your..JOURNAL! ^-^

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