i couldnt figure it out. why the hell did things go missing, and then you look and look and freaking look for it and it doesnt turn up. you get fusturated and angery, maybe even throw things. maybe you cry about it. why the hell do things go missing anyway? important things. things you made, things you love, things from another. you just rip yourself apart looking for it until you are so tired and depressed and down that you sit and watch 7 hours of anime and you cry at the sad parts and you cry at the end because the endings are never happy with that much anime. you end up getting a headache and obsessing over something small like your lover's car keys. then you start bawling because you wanna be with that person and you cant and it is just so bad and stressful you dont stop crying. your insides feel mushy and sick and you want it to end. you just want that feeling to go away. you wanna find a person's arms and lap to curl up in and let them stroke your hair and tell you it will be alright. you want to be with your lover but it isnt possible. then you end up crying yourself to sleep because that's just how it is. but why did it have to be like that? it is because you lost something so small and so special that it hurt you...
[i am sorry for anyone who knows me and reads this. i am concidered either a "God" like person to some or a person with a happy face all the time. there is a time that yea, even us happy one's lose it. lose even the most precious things or even just important things. what a s**t hole to be in. i am sorry...]
 Adiiru · Sat Mar 24, 2007 @ 04:54am · 0 Comments |
