An Extremely Awkward Problem pt.4
“What the hell is this?” Shikamaru gasped, looking at himself in the full length mirror.
“Is something wrong, Yamanaka-san?” The assistant beside her asked, obviously concerned. “This was the outfit you wore on your last assignment, does it look different?” She added, smoothing out the folds of the kimono.
Shikamaru stared, he…or rather, Ino, was in a beautiful blue kimono that fell loosely around her shoulders, exposing just enough skin to drive any man crazy, embroidered with silver waves and tied with a white obi. Her make-up looked light and stunning, and her hair was woven beautifully atop her head. My God, did she look beautiful. If he ever saw Ino dressed like this in his own body, it’d be hard not to stare…he might even drool.
“Yamanaka-san?” the attendant asked again, still eager to know what he found wrong.
Shikamaru thought quickly. “Oh, it’s nothing, it just seems that I fill it out more than last time, I should watch what I eat more.” He giggled as best he could.
“Oh. Actually, I think it fits a little more loosely this time around. You’re just too hard on yourself.” The woman said, smoothing out a wrinkle. “So, is there anything else you think you’ll need? What type of mission is it, should I fix you with the paralysis lip balm again? Or maybe something else?”
‘Lip balm?’ He thought, and then he realized that he hadn’t even read the mission report yet. “Oh, silly me, let me check, I haven’t read it yet!” Shikamaru pulled out the scroll and skimmed the contents.
His eyes went wide at what he saw.
‘Mission type- Reconnaissance.
Target description- 25 year old male, long blonde hair, husky build, goes by the name of ‘Hayashi’.
Intended objective- location and any other information regarding a group of ex-ninja/bandits supposedly hiding out in the outlands. Poses a threat to surrounding territory.
Outline- Seduction tactics will be used to lure target away from any company. Use whatever means necessary within notable boundaries, target is not to be captured, only interrogated. Physical temptation is suggested within suitable limits.
Rank- B’
Oh. My. God.
Shikamaru knew that kunoichi were sometimes used for seduction missions, and that spies were the most likely, but INO! She was only nineteen! How could she have been doing this and not telling him and Chouji? Granted, he probably wouldn’t have understood the full height of it all but it would’ve been nice to know!
Who was he kidding, she probably just thought he wouldn’t care or even pay attention.
...Or she knew the verythought of her seducing another man would piss him off to no end...
Shikamaru handed the scroll to the attendant, who read it surprisingly quickly and rushed off to get some things.
Shikamaru stood silent until she returned, carrying a few vials and assorted envelopes.
“I think these should do nicely. This is a fancy little thing Tsunade-sama just came out with, slip it in his drink, and it’ll be like he’s just had five times the alcohol any man should be able to handle. Or, if things get close enough that you can do it, this pill, when transferred mouth to mouth, is like a temporary truth serum. He’ll tell you anything if you ask for five minutes. And, the most drastic one, if nothing else works, memory loss. After an interrogation, inject him with this and he won’t remember the last hour and he’ll sleep long enough for you to get away.” She stuffed the small items between the folds of her kimono and smiled, indicating that it was time for her to leave. Shikamaru turned to the exit from whence he came.
“Yamanaka-san? You need to take the spy exit, you don’t want anyone to recognize you through town, your cover will be blown.”
The woman ushered Shikamaru over to another mirror and formed a few seals, the mirror faded and steps appeared, Shikamaru nodded and began what looked like a long walk in his new, surprisingly constricting clothes.
XOXOXOXOXOX
Meanwhile, Ino’s team had taken their time getting back to Konoha and it was nearing late evening when the crossed the gates into the village. The team headed straight for the Hokage’s office, but were shooed out quickly after the meeting, with the exception of Naruto. (A great deal of broken glass and screams emanated from the room as they left….)
“I’m back, Shikamaru!” She said inhis trademark tired voice, lazily closing the door behind her.
When nobody answered, she looked around the house for any sign of….herself. She found no blondes around the apartment, but did find a notepad with a sloppy note on it. Geez, how could he still have such bad handwriting in her body? Her letters didn’t look like this!
‘Ino,
I got sent out on one of your missions, it’s so troublesome. I asked one of the nin at the office to drop this where I would see it, I hope he wasn’t too incompetent and you find it. Anyways, if I’m leaving now, I should be back within a few days, how hard could your missions be, right? Hope you didn’t make me look like a girl.
Shikamaru’
She huffed at his words and threw the notepad back on the desk where she found it, flopping down onto the couch and stretching.
‘We’ll see how easy you think my missions are, Nara.’ She thought to herself, letting her mind wander. She was just about to doze off when a thought struck her and she sat up ridged in her seat.
'Oh my god, they better not have given me another one of those missions! No way could he do that! Nobody’s supposed to know what they entail! What’s he going to think of me?’ She thought, cupping a hand over her mouth. “Well, seduction is usually a last resort….Shika is smart, he’ll figure out a way around it." She tried to assure herself.
Mumbling, she got up and headed back to the room, too tired to make herself dinner this late at night.
XOXOXOXOX
Shikamaru strolled into a small tavern on the outskirts of a village just past the fire nations boundaries. Many of the men grew quiet and began to whisper to one another with interest. Shikamaru scanned over the heads expertly until his eyes fixed on a group of bulky looking men in the corner. He took a deep breath and took a seat at a single table nearby, making sure that the group had a full view from their seats. ...It really sucked to be sitting in those constraining clothes...
It made him sick to hear the provocative calls directed at him from all corners of the bar, and it pissed him off even more that Ino was used for this kind of mission.
It didn’t take long for a tavern girl to come over, carrying a small glass of wine and setting it on the table before him.
“The man over there- in the corner- wanted to send you this drink. And he asks if you would join him at a more private table in the lounge.” The girl pointed to a heavily muscled blonde man in the corner and Shikamaru nodded, noticing that he fit the target description the closest of anyone else in the tavern.
The girl went to report his answer and he didn’t have to wait long for the man to come over and offer his arm. Shikamaru giggled, trying to mask his disgust and accepted it, following his escort back through a set of doors and leaving the noise of the tavern behind.
They sat down at a secluded table in the back corner, him sitting a little to close for comfort. He quickly thought of what equipment he had; the drink powder, truth pill, memory loss injection and three emergency kunai, attached to a strap on his thigh.
They didn’t have anything to drink, so that temporally ruled out the drinking powder. He would have to attempt planB until something else came up.
For awhile, the two engaged in conversation, him mostly asking her personal questions about her measurements and him trying to change the conversation.
A waitress reprieved him by bringing them drinks and he waited until his back was turned for an instant to slip the small amount of powder into his drink, thankfully abandoning the plan to kiss the dirty man.
“Would you like to play a little drinking game, Hayashi-kun?” He chimed innocently, lifting his glass.
The man grinned and reached for his own glass, tapping it against hers.
“Do you think you could finish your drink before me?" He said, sounding sweet.
“I’m one of the best drinkers in our gang, I just hope you’re not a cheap drunk, missy. I would have to take advantage of you if you passed out, you know.” He laughed, Shikamaru was shocked at the honesty of this pig. He actually admitted he would take advantage of a drunken girl! Shikamaru broiled with anger inside, but fought to maintain his sweet outward appearance.
They clinked glasses and downed their contents, slamming them on the table simultaneously.
Shikamaru grinned, he wasn’t a big drinker, but alcohol was in his blood and he knew he could hold it very well. ‘Any minute now, you’re going to be falling all over yourself, a*****e.’ He thought, liking the thought of kicking him around a bit once he was drunk enough.
After a few more drinks, Hayashi was beginning to look affected, but Shikamaru was starting to feel strange. He gasped to himself when he realized his fatal mistake.
‘s**t! I’m a good drinker, but I’m in Ino’s body! She probably can’t hold her alcohol for s**t!’ He blinked slowly, letting his eyes adjust. The man before him laughed and scooped the tipsy girl into his arms with ease.
Shikamaru protested, flailing as best he could, but the man just laughed harder.
“I told you missy, I’m no gentleman, you get drunk around me and I’m going to have my fun.” He smirked, kicking a door to one of the stay-rooms above the tavern.
Shikamaru thought with all his might, his mind drifting back to the kunai and memory injection. That was his only option at this point. Unless...
They had reached the room and Hayashi threw the girl onto the bed, looming over her, beginning to remove his shirt.
Shikamaru took a few deep breaths and reached up the skirt of the kimono, releasing the kunai from their place, scratching himself as he pulled them out.
The man laughed at the teetering girl o the bed, struggling to hold the kunai. He knocked them out of the way and pushed her down, laying on top of her to keep her from attacking.
“I like ‘em fiery, girlie.” he grunted as he began to tear at the kimono folds. He nipped Ino's pale neck as the fabric gave way. He crushed his lips against hers, kissing her forcefully.
-gulp-
He man brought a hand up to his throat, realizing that he had just swallowed something.
“You b***h!” He moved to slap Shikamaru, who easily dodged the attack, standing and picking up his dropped kunai.
“What did you give me, you hoar?” He yelled, staggering back and falling to the bed.
“Truth serum. Now you’ll tell me what I want to know.” He grinned, placing the kunai against his throat threateningly. "What a stupid a*****e you are, falling for a drunken act. I'm tipsy, but not to the point that that I can't take out one slobbering piece of s**t."
An hour later, Shikamaru withdrew the needle from his captives neck, tossing it into a nearby trash bin.
The man lie on the bed still, sleeping as if caught by death, his face bloodied and disfigured from the beating he had received. Shikamaru rubbed his throbbing neck, where the b*****d had bit him before. After doing his best to adjust the torn kimono, he quietly exited the room, taking the backdoor out of the tavern.
Still, as he made the journey home, he could not suppress the feeling of rage that had become buried deep inside him. Anger that Ino had to go through with such mission and sadness that she never told him. He began to wonder what else she might’ve done, and tried not to think of what could happen if she failed. Had she ever failed?
As he neared the gates, he realized what Ino hadn’t told him of her missions….
It might’ve driven him insane…
Waterbender Khyna Community Member 
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