It all started with a peaceful road trip across the India ocean to Africa, where i was to embark on a FABULOUS journey across the African outback.
When i arrived in Michigan, the capitol of Africa, i met up with my travel guides Billy Shears, Con Seannery, and their trusty elephant Pickles.
We set out on a relaxing elephant ride on Pickles. We were going to the center of Africa so we could take photogrpahs of rare Hawaiian birds, and swim with some sharks.
As we traveled farther and farther into the heart of the motherland we spotted a herd of wild giraffe! Con decided to stop here so we could take some pictures and up close and personal with the wild aminals.
Billy and Con decided I should take a picture with one of the male giraffes.
THEN!! A huge Lion appeared out of the brush and started stalking aroung the giraffes. I was terrified! I thought the lion was going to slaughter each one of us, even Con Seannary.. even though he smells of scottish brew.
"JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION!!" shouted Billy. He was right, it was a lion! Before i could say anything David Hasselhoff jumped out of a tree and told us to, "GET IN THE CAR!!". I was shocked to find David out in the down under at this time of year in his famous Deary-Lou spedo. I thought he was fighting in the crusades.. i geuss i was wrong.
BUT..... BUT...... BUT!! There was no car to be found! Only pickles the frightened litle elephant. Suddenly!! A strange figure rose up from the shadows and stared down at the Lion. It was Sherman Jane Fonda!
Con Seannary was anti-buns-of-steel after that freak accident with the boiling ot of fondou last christmas. So insted of letting Jane Fonda take care of ze lion he pulled out a trusty AK-47 and shot down the Lion!
I was shocked and appalled to find Con harvesting such weapons of mass destruction in such a small suburban country. So i hurried to find Pickles so i could ride away in hopes of saving myself from Con just incase he decided to go postal. I couldn't find Pickles anywhere though. He probably got scared when the AK-47 was shot. But to my luck i spotted a hairy camel trying to take a bath in a plastic mini-pool.
I approched the camel with extreme caution. I started discussing my problem to the camel when it interuppted me in some sort of foreign moon speak. Jane Fonda did a few deep knee bends in my direction and quickly conversed with the camel. To my surprise Jane knew the extinct language most camels speak. She told the camel to take us across the ocean to Moskou were we could live together and start our own bakery.
