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march whatever, I don't really care. lying motionless on the floor staring up at the ceiling its cold so very cold I realize now demons are not born of hell they are born of the wickedness of the world they tear bite scream whisper kill me slowly inside out I look fine? at the moment you can't hear them you don't feel less and less of the better part of your humanity being torn from you I will become as the others an empty shell devoid of life its so cold in here so dark where is my saving light? among the darkness no light penetrates.

Posted by: Azarel87 Wed Mar 30, 2005 @ 05:19am

Gaia hates babies?

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1 year April 10th! ^_^

Beatings will continue until morale improves.

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Kaitou_Kitsune
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Commented on: Wed Mar 30, 2005 @ 08:14pm


	I'm being a shrew. Do NOT let the reader know what you're talking about as soon as they read it. The have to THINK for themselves. You're basically telling them how you feel. That is a big NO. You tell them how you feel, yes. Do you make it obvious? NO. Remember, the point of poetry is to find the hidden meaning within the hidden meaning. If you use a lot of big words, then the point is obvious. This advice is for emotional poems. Other poems, like The News in my journal, use all the big words you want. Other then that, the poems pretty good. I still consider you a novice though. wink

Commented on: Fri Apr 01, 2005 @ 02:31am


	I must disagree vehemently, I think that the elegance with witch this is written makes it surprisingly good, also I like the blending, bring the reader in, letting them experience what you feel like, letting them have a vivid realization of what you are talking about.

vermilyion
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lily_maiden
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Commented on: Wed Oct 18, 2006 @ 04:44am


	lights a candle better love? Oh wait, even better lights a torch

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