|
If you only really hate me... then why are you still here?!
Am I never good enough for you? Even if I work myself to the point where I've collapsed before you get home? Can't you see how you're tearing me apart? There's a reason why I don't hang out in the living room, why I'm always on the computer when you're home. You were right about me not wanting to talk to you; every time I do you explode in my face and take your pent up emotions out when I ask for the simplest of things. And still you ask yourself why I shut you out? Why we aren't as 'close' as you think we should be? Look in the ******** mirror, father. What do you see?
I can't take it anymore. All you do is tear me down. I thought you'd praise me for my accomplishments, but all you ever do is hold me back. I'm tired of living like this! I want out!
What you're doing to us emotionally isn't right. In fact, you're just as bad as my aunt in this regard. Go ahead and stay on your high horse. I'll be waiting here to watch you burn, for no matter how strong an unconditional love I have for you... my heart can no longer bear it. I'm not the son you wanted; get the ******** used to it.
For those who have no clue what this is about: Every single night my dad comes home agitated to the point he cannot withold his rage. He has to slam the front door, demand for a dinner that is never prepared, then plop himself in front of the TV while my mother and I fall into our separate rooms to stay away from his anger...and he expects us to take it like nothing's wrong? BULL.
I ask him kindly once, to do something for me since I'm tired, too, having been studying a good portion of the day and he yells at me for "not knowing how to do it." I know how, but I'm exhausted and strained to the breaking point! He finally does what I ask, grudgingly, at least, with a side of trying to guilt trip me for asking him in the first place. Half an hour later, he comes up to me with a pile of my things saying that my mother told him to place them on my chest, followed by a cruel joke at my expense. I inform him that there isn't any room for it, thus causing him to explode in my face.
... He almost broke down my door because I locked it on him because I didn't want to deal with his drama.
|
