|
|
|
In order to not piss off the moderators and force them to violate me with a ban hammer, I've decided that I would make my own blog, and rant away freely there.
I'll try to update it at least once a week, and when I have enough time, and my code slave has enough time, I will add a little web comic.
www.rosielsfeatheredbox.blogspot.com
Thank you for reading my journal, and thus giving my rants purpose. heart
 Angel Rosiel · Sat Dec 02, 2006 @ 02:24pm · 1 Comments |
|
|
|
|
Remember me to one who lives there; she was once a true love |
|
|
|
|
|
|
I haven't really been posting on Gaia for a few days, and may no post for a few more days yet; even weeks.
My mother died this week, from a stroke. She was in a coma from her first stroke, then she had another stroke
I've been worried about Steve, and his sister's death - and now this s**t happens.
It's a lot for me to handle and I'm having a hard time taking it. A really hard time. And I haven't been myself, so I've avoided posting anywhere, because right now I doubt I have the brain cells to form a proper sentence.
I'm really sorry, too. I don't mean for you guys to worry about me, and I should have said something. But you understand why I didn't? I didn't want to sound like an emo b***h, because I've been crying a lot - and barely anything I write makes any sense.
But I promise I'll be back to annoy and entertain you, guys.
I will occasionally check my PM's, however; so feel free to bother me on those if something is up.
Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.
Remember me to one who lives there, she once was a true love of mine.
Tell her to make me a cambric shirt (On the side of a hill in the deep forest green).
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme (Tracing a sparrow on snow-crested ground).
Without no seams nor needlework (Blankets and bedclothes the child of the mountain).
Then she'll be a true love of mine (Sleeps unaware of the clarion call).
Tell her to find me an acre of land (On the side of a hill, a sprinkling of leaves).
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme (Washes the ground with so many tears).
Between salt water and the sea strand (A soldier cleans and polishes a gun).
Then she'll be a true love of mine.
Tell her to reap it in a sickle of leather (War bellows, blazing in scarlet battalions).
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme (Generals order their soldiers to kill).
And gather it all in a bunch of heather (And to fight for a cause they've long ago forgotten).
Then she'll be a true love of mine.
Are you going to Scarborough Fair? Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.
Remember me to one who lives there, she once was a true love of mine.
Angel Rosiel · Thu Oct 19, 2006 @ 10:00pm · 2 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
In no particular order, and apparently by popular demand, these are the bands that I like, or at least like a few songs from them.
And anyway, I'd rather be thinking about music than the other things in my life right now, because music never goes wrong.
I don't like a particular genre, though most of the bands I like are in the rock catagory. If you're actually THAT curious, I suggest that you use the Find function via the Edit menu, to see if I like a band or not, because this list isn't short.
Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Led Zeppelin, Tool, Katatonia, Ayreon, Blind Guardian, Finntroll, Dream Theater, The HeavyCoats, Ensiferum, Iced Earth, Moonsorrow, Jane's Addiction, A Perfect Circle, Live, Opeth, Pearl Jam, Pelican, Therion, Enigma, Era, Magic Affair, The Blue Oyster Cult, Blue States, Biosphere, Avenged Sevenfold, Vertical Horizon, The Smashing Pumpkins, Sigur Ros, Rhapsody, Rush, Jefferson Airplane/Starship, Simon & Garfunkel, Rob Zombie, Edwin & The Pressue, Garbage, Corey Hart, Kim Wylde, Ashes Remain, Amon Tobin, Dir En Grey, Guns n' Roses, Slayer, America, Lykathea Aflame, Foo Fighters, Nightwish, Pink Floyd, Butthole Surfers, Red Hot Chili peppers
I'll add in more stuff when my head's not spinning.
Yay for journal editing abilities.
And no, I don't care if you think any of these suck.
Angel Rosiel · Fri Oct 13, 2006 @ 01:13pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
Today is officially the day of FAIL. :( |
|
|
|
|
|
|
It's not been a good day.
I got sick, so I haven't really been on Gaia or on AIM. I got on AIM today and found Zahir online, to my surprise. He's rarely on AIM, and if he is, that means it's a weekend. Today is not a weekend for him; it would be Thursday.
I asked how his sister was; I was hoping Nat was feeling better.
She died.
He was calm about it... or at least, he seemed so on AIM. I felt really dumb; I had nothing smart to say, at all. I wanted to help him... but what can I do? I don't know if he wants to talk about it. I don't know if he wants a distraction. I could have suggested we both go play Guildwars... but I don't know if he would have been insulted by that. But he had to go comfort his grandmother.
I hope he's resting right now. He's strong.
This morning, about an hour ago, I got a call. I was pissed. Who the ******** calls at 3 am?
It wasn't a good call.
Someone very, very close to me is in a coma. They had a stroke. That's all I know, I didn't get very many details. But they're old, so it's not likely they'll survive.
I mean, ******** WHY?
I'm pissed, I'm tired, and I'm really really... about to break down.
I want to hit something hard until my fist starts to bleed, then keep hitting it until I stop feeling anything, and then break it. And then I'd STILL keep punching whatever it was.
Or try, anyway. I'd probably be in too much pain. But I don't know how well my rage would keep me going.
I just wish I could do something. I can't help her that's in a coma, and I can't bring back Nat for Steve. I would if I could, too. I really would.
The only good thing that happened is that IHD came back online today, and she says things are better for her at home. heart
Angel Rosiel · Thu Oct 12, 2006 @ 09:29am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yeah. Two journal entries on the same day.
I made that one before I read Zahir's journal.
I stalk him there once in a while to see if there's any news, etc.
And boy, did I get some news.
Steve's sister is really sick. That would be Zahir. Yeah, he's got a real name. Mods are people. And he's got a sister named Natalie. He posted that she's in the hospital; an infection got bad. You can read about it in his journal entry.
I mean... I made a thread in the LI forum... I'm having trouble... with my faith. Not in God. I'm all set on that; I'm having trouble with my faith of life. And LI couldn't really answer me... but maybe that's because I posted it at the ungodly hour of 4 am-ish. And I was concerned about that; it's not good to not have faith in something like that.
But then, I saw Steve's journal. He told me about it before; I just didn't think it was this bad. I mean, yes, I know she was in the hospital, but the only few times I've ever heard of that happening... it wasn't too bad. The person was out in a few days. But... Nat's really ill. And Steve is being a great brother. He's staying with her in the hospital and I can tell he's really worried about her.
And, in case you all couldn't tell, it's him that I'm in love with. He likely doesn't read my journal so... I don't think he'd randomly get angry at me for it; plus, he seems too intelligent to get angry at something like this.
But... yeah. I wish there was something I could do. I can't do s**t. I wanted to draw a card that he could print out or something for his sister. After ******** up on it 8 billion times because all I could think of was how sad he would be, looking at her ill... I decided to draw that.
And the drawing sucks, too.
And I thought of something to say to Nat, too. I posted both the picture and my "hallmark" saying in Steve's journal. If he really does read it to her, she'll think I'm an idiot, I'll bet. I sounded really dumb, even though I was trying to be sincere.
I really do want her to get better. And I couldn't sleep after reading his journal. And I really don't give a s**t if this is "caring too much". I do care. I like caring for Steve. It's what made me love him in the first place.
He's a great, easy-going person. Talked to him through PMs and AIM. No masks, no acting, no second guessing. Everything is right there with him. He's honest, frank, and kind.
I just feel so bad that his sister is ill. It frustraits me. Makes me want to hit things.
All that will do is make my hand hurt even more. And if I keep hitting my monitor, I'm afraid it'll break one of these days... so I should stop that.
I prayed for her to get better. Got down on my knees, folded my hands, closed my eyes, and prayed.
I want to do something and not just sit there like a false idol!
But... really.... Steve, my heart goes out to you and Natalie.
It really does.
And that's not all; I'm worried to death about IHD. I can't put too much here, because I don't know if she wants people to know her business... but I hope it works out.
I hope she can come back to us, smiling and happy.
Stephanie, you were never a bother. I didn't mind you telling me what hurt you. If my words soothed you, it was worth it. I don't mind listening. That's what friends are for.
And now... now I go collapse in my bed. My heart's beating a mile a minute. I don't think it likes it when I don't sleep and worry.
Angel Rosiel · Sat Oct 07, 2006 @ 02:33pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
And took some online quiz thingamabober. And then took another.
Which Deadly Sin Are You?
PRIDE.
So when I get to hell, I get to have my bones broken into tiny bits, then grinded into dust on The Wheel.
Lovely.
How Likely Are You to Go Postal?
ONLY 47%.
But, I like how the quiz suggests I should go see a doctor.
Which Of The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse Are You?
DEATH
If I weren't laughing so hard, I'd make a witty remark.
Are You An a*****e?
ONLY 16%
I'm nice? Wow.
How Suicidal Are You?
YOU ARE 93% SUICIDAL.
Hoshit. Now THERE's a newsflash!
How Are You Going To Kill Yourself?
NOOSE.
Pfft. That's boring. And not bloody enough. And waaaay too quick.
What Kind of Angel Are You?
ANGEL OF SADNESS
"You're always sad, you think you need to suffer, you think you are bad and evil...with that you bring sorrow to the world."
o rly?
What Is Your Role In A Relationship?
HELPLESS ROMANTIC
I think I'm noticing a trend here.
Angel Rosiel · Sat Oct 07, 2006 @ 09:23am · 1 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
I'm friendly with a few mods and they're unhappy. I won't get into the details of why on things that I just can't...
But I will get into the details of users abusing them.
Mods are human beings. They're not machines or robots or some kind of AI or anything like that. They're human beings. So, you calling them ******** and idiots actually hurts them. And don't say, "Well, they can ignore it."
No.
They shouldn't have to ignore it in the first place.
Imagine this. You're giving up your free time, and in some cases, your freedom to speak as you wish (I'm sure there are things that a mod cannot say because they represent the site that a user could say without any penalty.). You're going out of your way to help people. You help people with problems, answer questions, keep users from abusing other users, and keeping threads where they belong.
So you do your job. You see a thread made in the General Discussion forum that's spam. The thread is moved. You PM the user telling them it was moved, and why. The reply you get back is,
"f** u, f**. it wuzzent spam. suk my c**k."
Why? What have you done wrong?
This doesn't just happen once a day. It happens way more than once a day, and I'm sure this is pretty tame compared to what some of them get. And that isn't the only thing they have to deal with. There are billions of reports that they need to deal with, all ranging from spam, to trolls, to flaming, to hacking reports, to... just about anything. As if that wasn't enough, they've got users calling them worthless shits, and nagging them to work faster.
And for every one problem that is taken care of, another few rise up in it's place.
They work really hard and try their best to do their job. They're not perfect. But that's no reason they shouldn't get respect. I try to thank mods when I can. My "thanks" to them may sound mocking, but I'm sincere.
"Why should I thank them for doing their job?"
Because no one else does, and that's not the way it should be.
It just saddens me that they're under so much stress. And I commend the ones that stay, dispite all of this.
All of the mods and helpers deserve some kind of thanks. And here is mine.
Zahir, InternalHardDrive, Serael, Aquafire, Human Cactuar, Moonblossom, ShadowTigress, Cashmere Cactus, clarion, Jjmvideogamer, Airez, TrjnRabbit, Sensedog, Meriko, CatsGame, Keruri, Futo Maki, Morbid Gnome, borobdin, Sashanaru, Anathema Device, Heart~Magic, Shiarka Jonless, Snaptastic, Nopenname, Nana_Wing, Sky Render, Chisa, Aer.y, o0NeMo0o, Raesha, Twistex, maggie iratus, SevenTen, Anlina S., Chocolate Mousse, umaeril, Flucy, Page Boy, Mephianse, The Iconoclast, Nuime, Hawkeye_GGK, Twistyd, Dinictus, Yuzi_K, ~*TiNkErBeLLe*~, TinHawk, Lunastick, Leana Anita, Dlin, Doji Kurohito, Harmonia, Jupernia, Arrien, Nikolita, ShyRomance, Lluvia Maya, gubins, Malee, Keakealani, Soranoko, luvableteekerz, Jupiter Lightning, albhedkenm11, digi162, SaraWhiteWolf, TPauSilver, Noraboo, Paakun, Nucker, Cassidy Peterson, Ookami Kokoro, fubenkunai, Byaggha, Nethcros of Two Minds, mitoguard, I am Bryan, Alexandrea Zenne, Canicuss, Dino, RavenMcCoy, Meg Kenobi, Kurd Jam, Shaviv, ramiel.sheep.of.lightning, Have Your Pi, Deep Vermillion, Deoridhe, Kelti, Tiana Luscinia, Giabrenna, Mizuiro, Ryonin, Kichigai M., Bilious, Seth Darkheart, BarbieSlave, WindowOpener, TriskDaemon, ll Pocky ll, IflanaNifi, PossessedByDevil, Boxed Lunch, Nenya, Ryuke Dragon, ymmij, Ambu, -Mouse-, `Link, Elindranyth, oOZephyr_WolfOo, Lord Yawgmoth, Cryostix, Doji Kurohito, PiercedPrincess, Fierygoddess, plan|face, XxXDr4g0nXxX, Casrial, Kitsuta, Calluna, Para, Penden, TKid, Xemaca, Your Akina, ~Alechsa~, Brock Jienald, sephirothgal, [Terra], Seraphim Call, Rosamaine, Sosiqui, kawaiihannah, ` S a e, Relikk, totorochic, RainFox, Meepfur, leloi, feralchicken, NoFlutter, Tiana Sidhe, kiironobara, Kitsune_rei, Usaku, Akari Yui, Katera, TerraAire., Reyson, Calluna, Vendie, 2000Man, Melian, Sweet Amber, WhiteJoker, Kansai_Gal, Arcane Draconum, devoslack, Chaotic Crescent, Caz_Nova, Nagwa, Uncle Kenny, FanFicGuru, Streamjumper, Desna, Kurosune_Aoki, Chocobo_J, Xiahou Dun, Beramode, Sandokiri, Lethe03, Louize, Kinky Kitten, Seikishi, x_Devils Trill_x, Despoena, The Dred Pirate Gossy, Cyril L. Gambino, met3or, Shiva Andvari, mean mina, Solarfall97, Silver Gryphon, Tina hates you., Oh Booboo!, i know everything, Bane is on Fire!, Kederaji Tajorn, Manhattan Project, Toshokan, Mizandi, Avy, taeha, Playboy Moogle, Angua von Uberwald, Eve Ill Zeeb Ra, Dev Kimiko, fubenkunai, and siryn.
Thank you.
I appreciate the hard work you guys do. You guys keep this site working properly and functioning correctly.
You're my heros.
heart
Angel Rosiel · Thu Sep 21, 2006 @ 09:03am · 2 Comments |
|
|
|
|
so i herd u lyke sexy men, amirite? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
I've decided to persue an outfit. I want to look as close to a priest as I possibly can on Gaia, and look stylish at the same time. That way, I can go to Towns and tell off people for being indecent. And I'm sure I could use the holy-ness in the GD.
Can't we all?
So, I went to tektek and cooked up an avatar. What do you guys think?
It's an expensive avatar, 1,695,250 gold, and even 1,000 tickets, according to tektek, but that's ok, because I have most of the items. I'll be questing for the rest of them, and as much as I post in my guilds, post in the GD, and report, it shouldn't take me too long to get it. Donation would be nice, of course, so I can be more holy faster. :3
...huh, that sounds kinky.
Oh well.
Sorry, I won't go further on that point.
You perverts. mad
Anyway, here are the items I need. Those crossed out are items I've got.
Angelic Headband - 188,000 gold.
Coal Gunner Hat - 1,800 gold.
Gold Mountain Tie (Black Spade) - 1,000 tickets
Nitemare Scarf - 1,190,000 gold.
Romani Black Jacket - 5,000 gold.
Scar of Hero - 24,000 gold.
Silver Pocket Watch - 500 gold.
Soldat Steel Boots - 7,250 gold.
Sylish Charcoal Winter Pants - 5,720 gold.
Those Black 90's Gloves - 980 gold.
Winged Anklets - 272,000 gold.
Charcoal Sketchbook - 890 gold.
I guess as I get things, I'll edit this entry and strike em all through?
Angel Rosiel · Mon Aug 21, 2006 @ 09:02am · 4 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
