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I wrote this because I am sick and tired of having my family think of me differently because I don't believe in their God or any god for that matter.
Comment as you'd like, but I'm heavily thinking of putting this in a forum. I'll just need to tweak it some first.
Is there a problem with not believing in a god? Not just the Christian or catholic God, but none, what so ever. Does it make one more dangerous? More villainous? Less moral? Is there a reason for those dirty looks relatives give someone who is not religious? Does not believing in a god make someone less cheerful?
I am of 16 years so you may disregard what I have to say, but what harm will it do you to listen? Are a few moments of your time worth more than a thought to chew on? Or would you rather stop now before I go any further. There’s still time, you know. You can stop now and pretend I never wrote this.
For those who are curious as to what I have to say, please, continue.
As I said, I am 16, a junior in high school. I am not one of those stereotypical high-schoolers who smokes, drinks, experiments sexually, and doesn’t care about the world. It’s true, I can drag my feet on assignments, but I learn. I pay attention to my environment and how it affects me and other people. I am always respectful to those who are respectful and kind and even to those I don’t know. I am the youngest in my family. I have an older brother and sister. My brother enjoys his drinks a bit too much, and my sister has excommunicated herself from the family. My father was born and raised as Catholic, and my mother was raised as Presbyterian. I am neither. I am atheist.
I was not abused throughout my childhood; I deserved all most every spanking and back hand I received. I was not a wild-child with temper tantrums, and I was not spoiled. Now, as I travel the halls of my high school, I realize how much politer I am than several of the other kids running around. I open doors for people, I ask if someone is alright after they fell, I say please and thank you, and many other things you’d think that these kids were never taught. I use my manners quite often. There are sometimes were the hallways become mosh pits and people get hurt. It can get crazy.
But showing kindness and having manners isn’t all, according to my mother, father, and grandmother. This past year, my parents noticed I stopped saying prayer at dinner time. They tried to force me to pray to God, but I would not budge. Yelling at me, they told me to get up from the table and leave. I did as I was told and left to my room. A few moments later they told me to come back down. We had a “lovely” chat about religion verses science. I had come to tears defending my right to not believing in any god. I choose to believe in science. They finally allowed me to get away with just saying “Thanks for the food” instead of a prayer and “amen.”
Over that summer, my friend’s mother forced her to go to church. She thought it would help her daughter (who is also atheist) through difficult times and emotions. My friend was practically bound hands and feet and dragged to the church. She wasn’t allowed to bring in any distractions and was giving dirty looks if she didn’t pay attention. I went with her a few times to help her out some; her mother allowed me to come because she believed I would help her adjust to going to church. I had bought my friend a tao ching book that is filled with wise sayings from different, polytheistic, religions. The saying had nothing to do with gods for the most part; they were just common sense on manners and such, but in little stories and rhymes. But her mother frowned deeply at that book, just because it was not Christian.
Her mother finally gave up on going to church.
This winter, the same year as everything else, my family went on vacation to my grandmother’s (on my mother’s side). Luckily, we were too late for church on Sunday, the day we arrived. After a few days there, we went and visited my father’s family. They aren’t Christian; they are Catholic. There is a difference for those who think otherwise. You see, I’m not only atheist, I’m bisexual as well, and I proudly show my colors on a rubber bracelet. My mother was saying that we might have to go to Christmas Eve sermon. So with two, fairly large, strikes against me, I was planning on protesting and not stepping onto the church’s property. My parents know very well that I am atheist, and they have a very good guess on my sexual orientation (even though my mother believes a high schooler can’t decide on things like that at such a young age). Gratefully, my uncle and aunt didn’t plan on going because of the party they were planning and cooking for. It was another bullet dodged.
On the way back home, we stopped by my grandmother’s house again. We spent the rest of the night there to sleep. We awoke around 7 or so in the morning. We didn’t have breakfast at her place: we had it on the go. We gathered the few things we brought in with us and packed them back in the car. My mother stuck around a bit so she could talk with her mother. They we talking about the family and how my aunt was going to make my cousin get a haircut (he had it in the “emo” style). Then out of almost nowhere, my grandmother turns to my mother and says, “You know, he doesn’t believe in God.” My mother being her normal disagreeable self (at least to my eyes) agreed with my grandmother! She claimed that it’s just a phase us kids go through; it’s another form of rebellion. She points to me and says, “This one doesn’t believe in God either.” I saw it coming but wasn’t hardly prepared. My grandmother turned and asked me what I do believe in, then. I looked at her straight and told her the truth, “Science. A single cell evolving over billions of years.” She completely misunderstood me and asked so things just appeared and started evolving. I was having to defend my beliefs all over again!
I continue to feel the pressure of my family. They all want me to believe in some person in the sky that a book says is real. A book! Written 2010 years ago! This is their only proof! Yes, there are other writings about Jesus and his disciples, but they were all written in a time that none can verify their factuality. It’s based on faith. I am not spending 1/7th of my life talking to myself, hoping that I’m actually talking to someone who cares about my problems. The people who care about my problems are all around me. They are my friends and family, my animals, and complete strangers who do care. They are the ones who can help. But I am the only one in control of my life, not some invisible person who controls everything. This is MY belief. It is the result of years and years and years of research, data, theories, equations, everything sciences has done, and any observations people have had. I should not have to defend my “wild” beliefs from people who I see their beliefs just as wild as they see mine.
I am a well mannered, teenage girl with very strong opinions and will gladly protect them if they are threatened. I find my life cheerful; I have strong morals; and, I am neither villainous nor dangerous. Yet, I still receive distasteful looks from the people who are supposed to love me for me. Does this seem right and just to you? Chew on that thought for a bit. And thank you for taking precious time from your day in reading about some silly girl’s beliefs.
 rainbow_kiss-able_kisses · Wed Dec 30, 2009 @ 04:13pm · 0 Comments |
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