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Holy s**t, my life might actually be moving FORWARD! |
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But I'm too lazy to re-post it all here! Hahahaha, bitches. Love ya all! <3
Oh God, Rew infiltrated Myspace.... If you feel like keeping track of me, go there. Message me, friend me, whatever. Laaaaaawler.
Rewayna · Wed Mar 07, 2007 @ 04:44am · 0 Comments |
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Well, dears, I guess I can actually DO what I said I'd do a couple of weeks ago. UPDATE, HO! <3
Where to begin... As most of you know, I am no longer living with my mother's boyfriend, which sucks. It seems that whenever I get settled somewhere, I have to uproot myself. Laaawlers. I'm kinda staying with my mother, but she doesn't really want me living with her. Not that I blame her, she doesn't like the fact that I don't agree with the fact that she coddles my older brother, gives him money, doesn't make him get a job.... Older as in 33. To each their own I guess... It's rough. I'd like to be able to lie and say everything's just peachy, but it isn't.
I've been lonely lately, because my social skills are questionable at best. I got so used to being on the computer all the time, I let them just disappear xD I sense trouble coming; the people that I /have/ been hanging out with in the past month aren't exactly the sort of people that i should be associating with. I'm sure I'll have fun, but I feel myself falling back into old habits that I thought I broke out of a long time ago. But beggars can't be choosers, I lost all of my non-partyish friends a while ago due to stupidity... Mmmmrph.
I don't know anymore. I guess you can say that Rew is a saaaaaaad panda at the moment. =(
Questions and comments can be directed at my face. FAAAAAAAACE. D:<
Rewayna · Fri Feb 02, 2007 @ 10:31pm · 3 Comments |
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So where the ******** HAVE I been? WoW.
WoW, WoW, WoW, WoW. Dirka 'n stuffs.
But that's all changed, now I'm essentially homeless. The holidays weren't exactly kind to me, yay.
I should be back on Gaia later tonight, I'll elucidate more then.
Rewayna · Thu Jan 04, 2007 @ 09:58pm · 1 Comments |
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Wewt, Lightning and Parties! =D |
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I got my a** chewed out for disappearing offline for a week. So, I'll weave my tale of woe and alcohol here for everyone's enjoyment. D;
Ahkay. So, I went to my sister's house on Monday the 17th to help her out with the daycare kids. I was sitting around having a good ol' time, when from the northwest came a peculiar cloud-bank. "Ooooooooo, looks like rain!" said I, anticipating all the lovely coolness that would come with it. The kids were happy too, because we let 'em play in the mud puddles when there's been a rain storm.... Heh, you're only a kid once, right? Haha, rain was the least of it. The storm that we had that night was severe enough to knock out about 90% of all the power in a five county radius. Rain, hurricane-force winds, and some beautiful lightning. Some of which actually struck my sister's front yard. And the corn field adjacent to her domicile. No fires, luckily. And, that house lucked out. We never lost power there. However, my mother's house did lose power. So, being the intelligent person that I am, I decided to grab some clothes and stay at my sister's until power was restored here. Hot water for the yes! The days passed, and on Wednesday evening, my mother's house regained electricity. However, Wednesday was when the parties were all starting. You see, in Fremont, Michigan, there's a shindig of a hoedown known as The National Baby Food Festival. It sounds retarded, but it's a celebration of the Gerber Corporation, which originated in Fremont. It's a giant carnival, and everyone who's anyone will show up for at least one night, and do their best to spend the last few days of it completely friggin' wasted. Who was I to deny the tradition I've been upholding since I was twelve? So, I stayed at my sister's for the remainder of the week. I'd still be there right now, actually... but her hot water heater died. And I abhor going even a day without bathing. So, I'm home. Missing the prime night to go out and party, because I can't afford the gas to go back there for the night. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to be able to afford to go back and forth to the daycare next week, either. Ah well, I'll figure it out. I always do.
In conclusion: JESUS ******** CHRIST, PEOPLE, I'M ALRIGHT. I DIDN'T GO KILL MYSELF, I DIDN'T GET INTO A CAR WRECK, NOTHING. SO SORRY FOR GROWING A TEMPORARY SOCIAL LIFE! Thanks for your concern, though. <333 And, you might wanna get used to me not being around as much anymore. It's breaking my heart to be online at the moment, and I foresee more "staying at my sister's house" in the future. Seriously, sorry. ._.;
Now that I've got my bitching at people because they were actually worried about me out of my system, I need to tell some specific stories about what happened to me in the past week. Good times, good times. xD
There's an awesome local band in Fremont. They're called The Pinstripes. Keep that name in mind, I really think they have a shot at hitting it big. Too bad they haven't been able to make a CD yet. =( Although I DID buy one of their shirts. xD
Uhmuhm, my sister's fiance was being way too nice for the first half of the week. It was almost like he was hitting on me. He came to his senses on Thursday, though. Complete a**, he was. And, I actually ended up SEEING his complete a**. Not to mention his... erm... manbag, for lack of a more discrete term. It was the GOAT! gonk Also saw the Batwing. >.> If you haven't seen the movie Waiting, you won't know what I'm talking about. Gah! xD
It finally came out that I'm not nearly as virginal as all the people over there thought I was. I mean, c'mon. I'm friggin' twenty, of course I've seen a bit of action here and there. xD;; Which led to a lot of guys, that I reeeeeeally don't care for, hitting on me. Wheeeee. Sorry, boys, still not a slut! =D
I drank a fifth of tequila last night. *shudders* But, I didn't have to pay for it, soooooo.... sweet! xD I also spent a lot of last night and this morning helping my sister's fiance's brother tear down a 302 engine. We were drunk. I didn't go look out in the garage before I left, I'll bet there's pieces of that damn thing all over the place. Hehe. xD;;
I think that's all. Oh, wait. I should be finishing this damn necklace that I started making. My neck's been feeling bare for a while. I just forgot how much of a pain in the a** it is to make a decent looking beaded necklace. xD;;;;;; Pictures once I finish it! =D <3333
Rewayna · Sun Jul 23, 2006 @ 12:20am · 1 Comments |
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Wherein Rew Gives A ( Not So ) Mini-Update. |
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Mmmm, this is more for other people's peace of mind. I r being super-b***h, and I feel bad because of it. =( I've got trust issues, and they're interfering with everything. Gah.
So, what's got Rew's panties in a bind this time? I honestly wish I could answer that in a simple manner. It's just that a lot of things in my life aren't going at all the way I'd wanted them to. No college on the internet for me, I can't afford it. They sucked me in with promises of scholarships that didn't actually exist, according to the financial aid officer I spoke with last week. ******** JERKS. The only other option I have is Baker College, and from what I've heard about that school... their degrees are looked down upon by most employers. I could apply to University of Michigan, and I could get in I'm sure... but...
Next point. My mother and her boyfriend are having major issues. Somehow I think that they are going to finally call it quits, and that leaves my mother out in the cold. She can't work, she's on SSI... she could find low-income housing, but her state checks would still barely cover the rent. I'm the only person in my family that would be capable of living with her to help out. My sister's have their own lives, and my brother... well, long story short, he's pretty much worthless. There's no way I could move to Ann Arbor to go to U of M.
And then there's the job thing. I had an interview with Wal-Mart last week... they said they'd get back to me soon... but considering that they haven't tried to reach me yet, they gave the job to someone else. The job market around here is absolutely horrid, I don't even think McDonalds or Burger King are hiring, that's how bad it is. I've papered all of the towns within fifty miles of my house with resumes and job applications, and Wal-Mart was the only place that bothered calling me back for an interview.
And then there's Pez. Something got shoved up his a**, and he won't tell me what it is. Actually, I've talked to him once in the past week. Which is unusual, we used to talk every day. It bothers me to no end. There's nothing I can do about it though, harrassing him on YIM is a sure-fire way to get him to never speak to me again. He'll either come back around, or he won't. If he takes too long, I can't say that I'll be forgiving either. I have a strict no-revival rule on dead friendships, relationships, ect. I consider 'em dead after a month or so of no contact ( I include half-assed, pissy conversations in the "no contact" column... ). It ******** hurts, but moving on is the only thing to do. Experience has told me that trying to piece together shattered relationships is futile, attempting to do so causes even more hurt feelings and insincerity on everyone's part. It seems like a good idea at the time, but life has this nasty habit of never quite working out with everyone's best intrests at heart. But, it does bend me out of shape when something like this happens. I don't make true friends easily, even on the internet.
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, yeah, that pretty much covers it I think. No school, no home, no job, no best friend. Looking at it like that, it doesn't seem so terrible. I, of all people, should be used to those conditions. HELL, I'M IN PARADISE. =D
Hopefully that all answered some of you people's questions. Of course, the only people that kinda half-assed want know what's going on would be Nora and Aaron. I just have a hard time actually conversing with people about what my issues are, it encourages waaaaaaaaaay too much emoness on my part. Which is bad.
Hopefully writing all of this out unbunches my panties, I'm not really a fan of walking around with an atomic wedgie of mass destruction. >.>;
Ohoh, and before I forget. Kaia, anyone with half a friggin' brain knows who I was talking about in that last entry. b***h plzzzz. =/ xDDDDD
Now, to try to sleep. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Heh. I laugh at me a lot of the time. ='D Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah, sleep will eventually happen. After I have a true mental breakdown. One's coming, I can feel it. I should try to at least eat something though. But I really don't feel like regurgitating anything either. ._.; At least I can make a bit of cash helping my sister watch her hell-spawn daycare kids. Which is why I should at least attempt to sleep, I've gotta watch 'em all week.
Dirkadirka, over and out. D:< heart
P.S.: ... There's someone flashing a light at our house from the resort across the street... Unless I'm imagining it......... O_o WTF, mate? xD;;;;
Rewayna · Mon Jul 10, 2006 @ 06:24am · 3 Comments |
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Is There Such Thing As Emo-Rage? |
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Jesus. ********. Christ. I'm sitting here, shaking like a leaf. Not quite sure if it's shock, or an extreme form of anger. Perhaps a bit of both. Or I could be very, very sad. I don't know.
Once upon a time, there was a happy Rew. The sort of person that everyone could enjoy. She gave freely of herself, and didn't care what sort of return she got. Everyone adored her, that was enough.
Pfffffft.
What people didn't know is that she was the sort of person that needed validation from the people that she considered close friends. She may have been very open with her life, a story a minute with that girl, with everyone; however, there were few people that she actually let into her mind enough so they could actually see what experiences made her into the sort of person she was. They gave her a reason to continue.
Heh.
One by one, these people disappeared from her life. Some moved away, some decided that she wasn't as awesome as they once thought, some actually got a life and didn't have much time for her anymore. As long as there was someone, though, she managed to pull herself together when she slumped down into a rut.
Yeeeeeah.
Her biggest mistake was falling in love with the best of the best out of the aforementioned group of people, the one person that she trusted enough to discuss anything and everything with. She didn't ask to fall in love, she didn't even want to do so; it's just that love is a fickle creature, bestowing its rather dubious honor upon whomever it chooses whether or not the choice is a good one.
Ooooooooooooh.
She ******** up. As is the case with our young heroine, she decided that perhaps this certain relationship was worth pursuing. In any case, the man in question was her best friend. Might as well let him know what she was thinking. Ah yes. Thoughts. Such wonderful things. He was kind enough to let her down gently, saying that she was very important to him... but he didn't view her in the same light. She accepted that as fact, but still let a secret hope reside in her heart that some day he might reciprocate her feelings. The months went quickly after that incident, everything was just peachy. She was fine, he was fine, nothing could bring them down.
Which brings us to the present day. Listen up, children!
He thinks he's falling for another girl. I didn't think it would hurt me as much as it does. Actually, it isn't the pain that is killing me; it's knowing that I never had a chance to prove myself that is doing me in.
I might as well offer up some knowledge about myself, so you all may better understand this situation as it pertains to me. I have this horrible habit of loving guys that see me as... well, one of the guys. I'm not quite sure if I give off some sort of pheromone that says, "Hey! I'll be the best damn friend you'll ever have, but don't love me! I'm not worth it! =DDDD", or something like that, but GOD. Sometimes it really seems that way. xD;;
Also, I got used to being number one in his book. In the back of my mind, I knew it wouldn't last... would've been nice to have the bulk of his affection for a while longer though. Rofflecopters.
Of course, I didn't really give him a chance to explain what's going on... I kinda freaked a bit ( "ZOMG, I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS RIGHT NOW! BAI!!!!" ) and got offline after he dropped the bomb on me. Silly Rew, always jumping to conclusions and running away to obsess over what may or may not be happening until she exhausts her brain enough to actually HEAR the truth. Gah. xDDDDD
Soooooooooooooooo.
What it really boils down to is this: Rew is being a spoiled brat. Don't try to sympathize with her, she doesn't like that much. She will be fine in a couple of days, she just needs to adjust.
I have no ******** idea why I typed this out here, I'm not too fond of airing my woes to multitudes of people that may or may not give a s**t about me or mine. Ah well, I needed to type out my aggression somewhere, and this is the only journal-type thing I have on the internet. And I can't find my damn notebook. ;x
-Fin-
Rewayna · Mon Apr 24, 2006 @ 07:43am · 2 Comments |
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The Soundtrack to My Life ( Once Again, Boredom STRIKES! ) |
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To be honest, there are tons of songs I know that can fit into each of these slots. I just went with what struck my fancy at the moment. xD
... And I'm in a screwed up mindframe right now, so they might not seem to... fit. Eh, shooshbah. It's my damn list. <3
Opening Credits- Red Is The New Black, by Funeral For A Friend Wake Up- Radio, by Goldfinger Average Day- It's A Great Day..., by Paul Thorn First Date- Nasty Girl, by Nitty Fall In Love- All For You, by Sister Hazel Love Scene- Bedroom Talk, by The Starting Line Fight Scene- Memory, by Sugarcult Breaking Up- Nothing Left At All, by Breaking Point Getting Back Together- Wake Up, by Three Day's Grace Secret Love- I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth, by Fall Out Boy Life Is Good- This Time Is The Last Time [Wave Remix], by Mae Mental Breakdown- Devotions And Desire, by Bayside Driving- The entire Offspring Americana album. Shut up and buy it, you! Learning A Lesson- Cold, by Crossfade Deep Thought- Letters To You, by Finch Helping A Friend- Porphyria Cutanea Tarda, by A.F.I. Partying- Feel So Numb, by Rob Zombie Happy Dance- What I Got (Reprise), by Sublime Regretting- Ephemeral Addictions, by Bed Light For Blue Eyes Laughing- She Gotta Smile, by Stephen Lynch Leaving- The Patron Saint Of Liars And Fakes, by Fall Out Boy Missing- My<DSMBR, by Kelli Ali (Linkin Park) Long Night Alone- Drive, by Incubus Falling Asleep- Swimming Upstream, by Ra Closing Credits- The Game, by Disturbed
Rewayna · Sun Jan 08, 2006 @ 03:37am · 0 Comments |
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Pure Boredom Inspired This! |
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Random gibberish. Perhaps inspiring, but most likely confusing. Might as well stick with what I'm good at. xD
My sister's fiance and I were talking the other day about taking long road trips, and having to take a dump in the middle of nowhere. It was interesting, because he and I had both had that experience. Imagine looking out your car window, into another vehicle. Seeing the driver practically hugging the steering wheel. No, he isn't trying to fornicate with his car, he's just trying to keep from shitting himself. The thought that had us both rolling came from yours truly. Rew: "Just think if you sneezed. What then, b***h?"
The lesson: Always keep a roll of toilet paper in your car. It'll come in handy someday, just wait and see.
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I recently found out that most of the people that know me think that I'm a lesbian. That came as a bit of a shock. The reason? I don't chase every bit of d**k that comes my way. Apparently, around here, if you aren't a whore, you're a lesbian. God, I love this county. Pffft.
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Nothing like waking up in the morning to the thought of "Man, there are a lot of asses around here that need wiping."
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Ever feel like a gerbil chasing after a piece of cheese that's tied to a stick on it's back? No matter how hard you run, what you want is always just out of your reach. Now, if you give the gerbil a lil' flame-thrower... yeah, that gets the job done. The cheese may be a melted puddle of cheesy goodness, but still: He got what he wanted. And you gotta admit that the thought of a gerbil with a flame-thrower is pretty awesome.
I totally digressed from what I was trying to get at. Heh.
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Would you rather be happy in a sad way, sad but content, or just not give a ******** as long as you have your Mountain Dew?
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Fill my head with thougts of love, inside my heart is dying. Run away from thoughts of trying, andholyshitIreallyDOsuckatpoetry.
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It's a known fact that the surface of the brain has no pain receptors. What I want to know is why I can feel parts of my brain throb when I think too much. It isn't my skull, or my scalp that hurt. I should look into that- It wouldn't suprise me if I had a brain tumor.
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There's a reason that people should accept words at face value: If you spend too much time attempting to figure out what the "real" meaning of something is, you'll end up with a migrane and a missed chance.
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Drunken sledding. Need I say more?
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Earlier, I had a conversation about what snow looks like as it's flying towards the windshield of a car. One person called it "Star Trek Snow". Another called it "Screensaver Snow". My two-year-old neice called it "Pretty". Me? "Troll Hair Snow".
I'm special like that.
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It's things like these that keep me awake at night.
Rewayna · Sat Dec 17, 2005 @ 05:17am · 0 Comments |
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Leaning more towards "fool" now. >.>
Also feeling an urge to either A) Choke-slam someone -or- B) Get completely s**t-faced.
Considering that it's my step-sister's 21st birthday this weekend, I'm thinking the latter is what's going to happen. 'Course, the last time I went out drinking, I gave up on getting drunk after 4 hours of steady jello shots and rumrunners. xD;; In other words, I am in one of those states were I can drink my body weight in alcohol and not feel a damn thing. Which sucks. Dx
It'll be interesting if Bolles shows up, though. He took it upon himself, when we first met a couple of months ago, to make sure that I had a good time. Not sure why. xD;; I think he was being paid. ( Not really. ) xD And I'll bet he'll let me attempt to choke-slam him. Cuz he's awesome like that. xDDDD
What else are good friends for? D: heart
Rewayna · Fri Dec 09, 2005 @ 04:40am · 1 Comments |
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