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not too long ago he said to me i love you,
my heart filled with a deathafying happiness,
i smiled and curled up to the one i love.
two mondays ago i told him of being depressed,
he took me in his arms and held me,
the warmth from his touch brought a comforting love.
a few days later he told me that he's a christain,
a fear filled the shallow shell before ye',
i feared for if he knew what would become of me.
not three days ago i told him that i'm a witch, a pagan,
he smiled at me and hugged me gently,
the fear was gone and the loving happiness returned.
my mothers touch brings me no warmth,
ur eyes fill me with the hope i need,
its your love that im wishing for.
to stay with you and live in peace,
seems like a not to distant dream beside you,
for i love you with all my heart, please never leave.
 Ookami Hinote Yasha · Wed Mar 29, 2006 @ 01:02am · 2 Comments |
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to u too stupid to notice |
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All I wish for is to scream,
I want to shout out to the world,
Tear into ur chest holding ur heart,
And let its blood flow between my fingers,
I can't feel it dieing beats in my hand,
The muscles are dead in my fingers,
The cut went to deep the blood fills the ground,
I watch as the life is drained away with the blood,
I kiss the stilled heart with blackened lips,
I wish to stay with the dead for the moment until,
I lay beside ur crying body,
U see ur heart in my hands the blood pours onto u,
I smile and curl up beside the one i love,
Ur heart in hand i know u will stay with me,
I kiss ur cold dieing lips with love,
My life fades from my eyes as i rest my head on ur chest,
My hair soaks in ur blood as i whisper words of love to u,
I see the dead has come upon us,
I lay there ur heart in my dead my hands,
They now lay apart from us the cuts were too deep,
It rolls on the floor to where the dust collects,
And i stare up at u one last time,
I smile at ur loving gaze and rest my weary eyes,
I lay there dead by ur silent side,
We are together at last where no one can say no to us,
We live in peace side by side our hearts as one,
But to the last its for nothing,
For we are dead lovers in the moment,
We lay on tombs of stone and grass,
And kiss each other goodnight on a stolen moment,
But for no good does it do for its too late for me,
I am dead in this wonderful world,
Not a soul notices I live,
Nor do they notice the pain I inflict,
For I am dead to ur eyes,
Just a body to be seen and nothing more to the world,
So I rest my weary head on ur empty chest,
And dies within ur loving arms.
Ookami Hinote Yasha · Mon Mar 20, 2006 @ 01:25am · 1 Comments |
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im sorry if this upsets u |
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the darkness surrounds,
my voice lost in a mist,
all i wish is to see,
what a life means to me.
the spinning in my head,
the words an utter mess to me.
i take thy blade in hand,
the shimmer of its glow on my face,
the sharpness against my skin,
though i do love another,
my life is but an other.
to be dissaluded,
to be unannounced,
is what my life is to me,
a dull glow in a vibrent world,
my life to another seems improtant,
but i just want to scream.
i take thy blade in hand,
the shimmer of its glow on my face,
the sharpness against my skin,
i want to tell my love so much,
to tell him how i truely feels he knows,
but about myself my world,
i could never wisper a word.
im sorry for the damage i have caused,
to my friend i would leave no regrets,
but the words of advice is nothing more,
then the kiss to an on blowing breeze,
i do love him and wish to stay,
but my skin is cut the red wine is poured,
my body is empty the words no more,
the finnal drips remain the world shall stay anew.
but to me this of old,
is nothing more then the words of regret,
sorrow and blade r hand in hand,
i do love the one true to me,
but tonight i wisper these words to him,
and kiss the wind forever more,
i take thy blade in hand,
the shimmer of its glow on my face,
the sharpness against my skin,
the wounds become ever more deep in my skin,
and i lay to rest in lovers arms.
Ookami Hinote Yasha · Sun Mar 19, 2006 @ 01:41am · 2 Comments |
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breakdown of "confussion of love" |
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now i dont do this type of thing really, but im bored and i feel like i need to explain the poem and how its related to only 3 guys in my life....three that stand out strong..even though one doesnt relise it, and i wish one would just go away sometimes. Any ways, im just basicly going to go through it line by line, and say what guy its related to, and maybe a litttle something, im not sure yet
anyways here it goes
the one i love shares my feelings, (Jeff, the one i wish to stay oh so true to, and would do anything for)
the one i wish for hides from me, (Luke, he helped me out through my depression, and i wish we could be more then friends at times, my feelings are strong towards him)
to the world i am but a single soul, (not towards any of the guys, just there to fill in space)
but to one i am the world, (Spike, he wont leave me alone at times)
but to disapear from that world, (Spike again, it dirves me insane from time to time, and i wish that i could just end our friendship when it becomes too much)
is what i wish for, (filler again)
to stay happy is more then i can bare, (basically saying that i cant hide my feelings much longer....)
but to be depressed is much worse, (To confess and be regected or to lose jeff...i never want that to happen)
for the one i love shares my feelings, (jeff)
the one i wish for hides from me, (luke)
but to another i am but, (not quite sure....)
the thing in the way, (the world in gernal i guess)
the one that hurts the most, (myself...to lose the ones that i care about would be worse then death)
is what i feel inside this hollow shell, (filler i guess, just feeling really sucky at this point)
i love the one im with so much, (Jeff^^i do love him dont i?)
and wish to stay right here in life, (to not mess things up is what i mean)but the one i wish for hides from me, (Luke again....)
he tears my world apart from the seams, (um the whole suicide thing..was yeah, not going into that right now)
to smarten up is what i must do, (figure things out and stay with my Jeff^^)
to understand how this world works, (be able to cope in whats to come)and to be happy is the goal in life, (filler)
but i dont know if i can do this, (Luke again...i....yeah, um, i want to stay with jeff but)
i need ur hand to pull me through the dark, (luke and Jeff..^^the ones i care about most)
to be there in the end when i am done, (both again...but as they r i guess, my boyfriend and a very good friend)
so please say that u will stay with me. (Jeff heart ^^)
and well that's all she wrote.....well all i wrote i should say..anyways if that helps people out or not i dont know, but i feel like a ton of my chest^^thanks for reading
Ookami Hinote Yasha · Thu Mar 16, 2006 @ 03:33pm · 1 Comments |
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im not sure what i should do.
i was looking through my friends juornals, and came across a new entry in my boyfriends. i read it and started to cry, i wanted to reach out to him and tell him that he can talk to me, and then i noticed a link at the bottom of the page after reading his post over again. As i was waiting for it to load, i felt terrible, i had the erdge to walk out on to my deck and hang myself from the railing..end the surfing, but i didnt..i want to stay with my boyfriend so much...but i think, and i relise i know almost nothing of his past... i know almost nothing of what makes him the guy i love...and i want to ask him, but i dont know if its my place..i dont wish to intrude, i will wait, but it suddenly made me feel so distant from him..*Wipes away a tear*but after i saw the link, i felt nothing, and empty shell, untill i started typing this.
i dont know y this is making me so emotional but it is...and im sorry for those who read it, i just want some input on what i should do, i feel so lost right now... i just want to be with him so much...i love u jeff, please remember that when ur upset
Ookami Hinote Yasha · Wed Mar 15, 2006 @ 04:41pm · 1 Comments |
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the one i love shares my feelings,
the one i wish for hides from me,
to the world i am but a single soul,
but to one i am the world,
but to disapear from that world,
is what i wish for,
to stay happy is more then i can bare,
but to be depressed is much worse,
for the one i love shares my feelings,
the one i wish for hides from me,
but to another i am but,
the thing in the way,
the one that hurts the most,
is what i feel inside this hollow shell,
i love the one im with so much,
and wish to stay right here in life,
but the one i wish for hides from me,
he tears my world apart from the seams,
to smarten up is what i must do,
to understand how this world works,
and to be happy is the goal in life,
but i dont know if i can do this,
i need ur hand to pull me through the dark,
to be there in the end when i am done,
so please say that u will stay with me.
Ookami Hinote Yasha · Sat Mar 11, 2006 @ 06:21pm · 0 Comments |
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young hopefull souls stand,
unaware in the dark world,
the misunderstood ones,
we stand alone in this life,
a shadow of a light,
lays upon our unburnd skin,
no true words are ever spoken,
we hear only the lies others say,
there are no scars,
no burden rests on our shoulders,
the whole world ahead of us,
nothing but disaster behind us,
the world us is broken,
and we are here to fix the mess,
it was left by others before us,
we stand alone in a loving embrase,
the world is still but a mistery,
to the young souls of the world,
we stand anew,
but live a old
Ookami Hinote Yasha · Thu Mar 09, 2006 @ 12:25am · 2 Comments |
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