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Once upon a time, I lived very happily, I didn’t have a mother, But two dads were better than one. I never thought anything, About not having a mother, Until the kids from school brought it up. They wanted to know, If my dads were gay, My friends want to know, If I was the son of two fags. I never looked down on my fathers, And I was always proud of them. I proudly stated I had two dads, And that’s when my problems started. I just smiled, And shrugged off the comments, I just laughed and pretended I was fine. But soon it was wrong to know or be near gay people, And sense my fathers were gay, I must’ve been too. So everyone avoided me, Even though I was straight, All through middle school, And right into the high school, It was wrong to be near me, The son of two fags. Soon I became depressed, Alone in the coldest, Most hate filled world imaginable, Soon I didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning, I was worthless. My fathers became worried, And wondered if I was alright, I assured them I was fine, And that nothing bad was going on. I lied to them then, And I shouldn’t have done so. They dropped the subject, Believing every word I said. I wish they had not trusted me, I wish that they had had a reason not to believe me. But I’ve never done anything wrong, And so, I was fine. As you can tell this is all past tense, As a few seconds ago I pulled a gun, Put it to my head, And lodged a bullet in my skull. Unable to handle being alone, Or hated, Or discriminated against, All because my fathers were gay. I wonder if they miss me, On that horrible planet of ours, I wonder if they ever think of me, In that hate filled world of ours. Maybe they hate me, Maybe they want me back. I’ll never know, I took the easy way out. I wanted to go, And I wanted to go fast, I didn’t want anymore pain, As I couldn’t handle anymore suffering. Maybe if I had been able to hold on a little longer, It might have gotten better. I wish I had been strong enough then, I hope my dads are strong enough now, To go on without me. I can never take back what I did, And I regret it now. I wish I could go back and hug them but I can’t. I love them, and I hope that they know that. I love them more than life itself, And I should have waited... So that I could maybe save one of them someday... But I didn’t, And I can’t change time, I can’t go back, But if I could, I would talk to them, And tell them how I felt. I would tell them, I love you. Do you hear me dad? Do you hear me dad? From that earth of yours, Do you hear me? Dad, I love you. Dad, I love you. Dad, I love you. Dad, I love you. Dad, I want to take what I did back. I want to be back with you. I want you to hold me again, I want you to tell me you love me. But... I can’t hear you. But hopefully, you can hear me. Daddies... I love you.
not my poem