What is it about carnality that draws humans to it so? While sex is certainly necessary for the survival of the human race as a whole, I feel that Maslow was an idiot for stating it as a base need of mankind on an individual basis. Yet here we are, in a world--and, at the very least in America, a society no less--in which sex seems to be the primary desire of our species. It is not uncommon to find people claiming to seek love and actually seeking mere physical intimacy, or worse yet, to find people who think that sex actually is love. Why do we, as humans, desire it so much? Furthermore, whatever happened to the sacredness that it once held?
A discussion was spurred between myself an an acquaintance earlier due to a television show, of all things. In the episode that was playing, a woman discovered that her husband was alive--after having slept with his best friend, as she had been told that her husband was dead. When said acquaintance and her dorm-mate began to discuss whether they "liked" the character in question (read: would mind if the plot line killed her off), of course her morality came into check. The dorm-mate argued that she had, indeed, slept with another man; she had cheated on her husband, and was fully at fault, whether she had been misinformed or not. The acquaintance retorted vehemently, stating that it was only natural for a human to seek out that which was "comfortable" during a disaster, especially one of apocalyptic scale; of course, she claimed, the woman would try to comfort herself with the familiarity of sex! This seems wrong, even ignoring the fact that I hold bias toward the dorm-mate to begin with for any number of reasons.
Would it not be fitting, upon receipt of claim without proof of one's spouse being dead--under any circumstances, devastating, apocalyptic or otherwise--that one should hold faith that the spouse might still be alive, or at the very least mourn the death that is figured to have occurred and wait until one's feelings settle before seeking out comfort on such an intimate level? Are we, generalized humankind, so numb to the implications of sexual intercourse that we see it as no more than a pleasurable act? I fear that the answer to the former would frighten me, and the answer to the latter definitely does, for I dread to state it an echoing "yes."
There was a time in which there was no difference between "sex" and "love-making," as is popularly asserted today. While I speak from a standpoint that most would call Christian, it is not only "my kind" that mourns the transformation of love-making to carnality, the loss of sexual intimacy's sanctity. Yes, indeed, sex was considered a consummation of marriage among the Jews and later among the early Christians (or Catholics, argue it as you will amongst yourselves), and this practice follows through to modern-day Christianity of all sects, Catholic and Protestant (and their innumerable sub-sects) alike. The Jews would hold their marriage ceremonies in utmost sacred solemnity; while they were joyous occasions, the ceremony was for the sanctification of the bond which would occur directly after, when the newly-wed couple would proceed to a private tent a good distance away to complete the bond in an act of love-making, its blessing ensured by the marital rites. In similar alignment, the Celtic Pagans had a marriage ritual, but again, the act of union was held in higher regard; the blood spilled upon the breaking of one's virginity was considered a holy sacrifice to their Goddess.
As I have heard again and again from sources of all backgrounds and origins, anybody who has made love in a truly caring relationship, with loving emotion mutual from both parties, can feel the transcendence of the act, a metaphysical feeling beyond the mere physical pleasure. The sacredness is evident. Therefore, why do we seek out mere sex when we cannot find love, even in knowledge that in a less than loving relationship it is less satisfying?
In the second chapter of the Biblical Book of Ecclesiastes, verses one through eleven, King Solomon declares the meaninglessness of all physical pleasures--wine, song, lust, possessions, and so forth--for they bring nought but a hollow imitation of happiness, one that felt true enough but eventually faded to reveal its emptiness. However, he also makes it clear that it is often mankind's first reaction to run directly to such things in the search for joy and meaning. These things are readily available, after all--there is absolutely no shortage of alcohol, music of all sorts flood the markets (wholesome and otherwise). There are communities of countless varieties, especially online, devoted to sating sexual desires right down to the most detestable, and even the impoverished can gain possessions through a sly mind. With all of this in mind, though, and all clearly in popular desire, sex still stands out, even more so than ever-popular alcohol. And the inconsistencies and contradictions abound! Those who desire multiple sexual partners frequently still wish for their partners to remain faithful, for example. What sick logic can be found in the human mind to reveal the source of this?
In all my thinking, I have arrived at but one conclusion: everybody wishes to feel wanted, to belong, to be loved. Is it not true? How many websites and communities exist only to help those without an emotional partner to find one? How many nightclubs and dance floors advertise that they are excellent places to meet singles?
Of course, true love is a thoroughly misunderstood topic in the modern world. Knowing that I shall be slandered widely by the public, I proclaim that the majority of dating-relationships and marriages in current society are physicality-based, or at the very least not love-based, for if they were then far fewer divorces and angry breakups would occur. In all realism, with the present number of divorces, one can only figure that the world sees marriage as little more than glorified dating to begin with--and dating is no longer a way to find the person that one binds with emotionally, but rather a mechanism to get a chance to breed (usually with no desire to actually reproduce, only to experience the events that would otherwise bring reproduction about).
With love so desired and so difficult to truly find, the human mind seeks out the nearest association: sex. With the spiritual nature of sex and its relationship to sanctified union, it is not love, but it is an integral part of how people see love; hence, with love itself unavailable, they search for sex. In due time, the knowledge that it is less satisfying without emotional backing fades, and leaves only the constant desire, never to be slaked by any amount of copulation.
Upon discovery that the want is, in fact, insatiable, mankind begins to assume that it is simply a "need," ignorant to any possibility that modernly-classified "love-making" would sate the true want behind the primal one for carnality. And this permeates American culture (and others, undoubtedly), with males always questing for sex, and the females who desire their attention acting as sexually driven as possible, even pretending to enjoy perverse acts that actually bring themselves no pleasure (or, worse yet, convincing themselves that they do enjoy such maltreatment). Acts that would be perfectly healthy in a loving--and, some (myself among them) would argue, blessed marital--relationship become vile, misused and unappreciated.
I am not alone in understanding this. Many friends of mine have said to me ("confessed," they often called their saying it, fearing judgment; how sad that this is so!) that in their happily loving relationships, they could give up sex and, while perhaps missing it, live without it for the satisfaction that love on its own brings. This is admirable, and proof of truly strong emotional bonds. I feel such love myself in my relationship with my girlfriend (and this is tried by fire, in that I have vowed abstinence with her 'til marriage; with a year of dating her now, by no means is this claim untested or untrue). What love can be when its truth is understood!
Now, debatably, even a truly loving relationship with another human will not fully satisfy; human love, in its mortal imperfection, is finite. Where can one find infinite love? Only in God...
~~~
If only the world could see and understand...
How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? And ye scorners delight in scorning, and fools hate knowledge?
Hearken ye to my call--ignorant bliss is hollow! Simplicity will bring no true joy. Seek out what lies beneath; the answers will become clear. Wisdom offers all that you have ever dreamt of, would you only reach out and take her hand.
__________________________
Welcome, all, to the rebirth of the Poet's journal. I know not how many of my old readers will return to read this, or how many new readers will find interest in my writing; nor do I know how often I will be driven to post new entries (any of my past readers will know how inconsistent I can be about it; deepest and sincerest apologies to you all...). If you have read this, however, and are obviously still reading, I thank you.
Please, by all means, leave comments, or send me a private message if you would like a deeper discussion. I would love to hear your insights, and even your opinions (proper, backed opinions--no flames, please) on what I have to say. I recognize that I am not perfect, and I, too, have much room in which to grow--and this is part of why I write. I wish to enlighten, and to, in doing so, be enlightened. In any responses, agreeing or debating, I take joy.
It is late, and the road is long. Until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
~ The Poet
 PoeticRainfall · Mon Nov 15, 2010 @ 06:54am · 1 Comments |
