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525,600 Minutes
525,000 Moments so dear
525,600 Minutes
How do you measure a year?

I feel starting this entry off with a song verse from Seasons of Love was appropriate, as yesterday, October 10th, my love and i celebrated one year together. I know that many of you feel that this is insignificant, but for me this is different.

I grew up as the outcast. Not having many friends, and mainly being alone. As The Monkees said once, "i thought love was only true in fairy tales." The diagnosis of my Tourette's Syndrome seemed to make the aspect of me finding Mrs. Right even more unlikely. I went through highschool dateless and filled with feelings of loneliness. My junior year was just one rejection after another as i grew more and more desperate. But in my senior year, my friend and i were talking, and i asked if she wanted to give me another chance as a date (as she abruptly ended us for reasons that were not adequately explained until recently) and for some ungodly reason she said yes.

I still can't believe it. I have almost no positive views about myself, and yet she can find even the tiniest shred of good in me. And because she has stayed withe me for a year, i can safely conclude that she does indeed love me.

But onto the events of the night. We started off doing nothing special. We exchanged the gifts we made for eachother and set off for the local mall.

We had decided on a dinner and a movie, and the movie we chose was Quarantine. I'd say my opinions on it, but that is for another time.

Afterwards we headed for the local chilis, where we sat talking nonchalantly while eating our food. After the check was paid we sat in the nearby gazebo cuddling and talking about our times as toddlers.

This is where i wanted to get to though. As i got home, i opened one of her presents. It was a jar, filled with little construction paper hearts, all saying "i love you" in different ways. As i got done reading these, i simply held them all in my hands. I nearly broke down into tears because of them, as i have never felt the love of another so strongly as i do with her.

Lauren, if you ever end up reading this, i want you to know that you are my main reason for continuing on in this existence. Every thought i have ends up leading back to you, and you are the one thing in this world that can truly make me happy.

I love you more than anyone in this world and i wish to simply be with you until the day i die.
heart heart heart