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So fluffy and cute Are you hiding here bunny? Come away with me!
CrashMD · Mon Apr 18, 2011 @ 09:44pm · 0 Comments |
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old balls enters the chat. old balls: ohh damn a surviving grombie CrashMD: lol CrashMD: Yup mccheezies123: how do u type in green CrashMD: /set color green CrashMD: without the space between set and color mccheezies123: cool/set color green Flux leaves the chat. CrashMD: Yeah, and you can do other colors too. Blue, red, yellow, and a whole bunch more. CrashMD: Or you can even set it to an exact color if you know the hex code for it. cocobean1234567 enters the chat. mccheezies123: cool/color green cocobean1234567 leaves the chat. EMBERSTAR_gOnE101 enters the chat. mccheezies123: setcolor/blue EMBERSTAR_gOnE101 leaves the chat. mccheezies123: cool mccheezies123: weirrd mccheezies123: cheezies mccheezies123: setcolor/green mccheezies123: coo mccheezies123: setcolor green mccheezies123: setcolorgreen mccheezies123: ilike to chat in color/green mccheezies123: color/colorgreen mccheezies123: gree mccheezies123: awesome mccheezies123 leaves the chat. old balls leaves the chat.
CrashMD · Sun Dec 19, 2010 @ 07:49pm · 0 Comments |
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SimCity Societies mini-review |
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Man, SimCity Societies is pretty sweet. I wish I had illegally downloaded it earlier.
They simplified the SimCity mechanics by eliminating power lines, water pipes, subways, trash, taxes, and a whole hoard of other stuff that I previously thought I loved to jumble.
Now, if something produces electricity, any building anywhere can use that electricity. Instead of taxing people, you earn money for every day a working citizen goes to work.
The basic mechanics is as follows: You build a house and people move in, then you build a workplace for them and they go to work. Then you build places for them to have fun, because unhappy citizens don't work. It all seems very simple (and it is), but they added something completely new that mixes things up.
There are a number of different... um... cultural energies? I don't know what to call them, but they represent base elements of the various societies you can cultivate; Creativity, Authority, Knowledge, Prosperity, Productivity, etc. and every single building in the game either produces or consumes these points.
So, building a home that'll bring in new workers may cost two Creativity points. If there aren't enough points, the house will remain empty. So you have to build something else to cover those points. Often, you can find a workplace or venue that covers the cost of the houses for it's workers, or you could drop money on various decorations that increase the various Culture points.
It has a very card-game feel to it, with the buildings costing/producing mana Culture and all working together. Different buildings can be even more effective depending on what's near them. Most buildings are of a particular type and you can do things like build a Graveyard to reduce the cost of Creepy type buildings (Haunted Houses for your Zombie sims and Creepy Barns for them to work in.)
Oh, yeah, there's a lot of emphasis on individual sims too. Different buildings can turn sims into special sims, like Zombies, Rock Stars, Holy Men, etcetera. My town is actually being pretty much over-run by mimes at the moment. :f
Anyway, with such a simplified system, you'd think one would just build the same three buildings that cover Sims' needs and do ad-nauseum, which you certainly could do, but Maxis urges the player to experiment very well. As your city expands, you enevtiably produce more and more mana points Culture, and as it increases you unlock different buildings to use. Some are more effective, and some force you to use different Cultures than your current main focus.
And if simply having new toys to play with wasn't enough incentive to play around, they created an Achievement system to further goad the player. When your city hits certain requirements (large population with almost no unhappy workers and ridiculous amounts of Culture being produced, for example) you get an Achievement. Along with the achievement, you unlock a special, ultra-cool building that you can build only once, and usually has some unique properties. This is basically the same as the Landmark buildings from SimCity and the Gifts you received when reaching population goals. But now you receive them for more varied circumstances, and it's all very open. You know exactly what you have to do in order to get these buildings.
Overall, it plays very well. Fast-paced and very absorbing. The game's balanced so well, that I've never even come across a situation where I have to sit and let my city run on auto-pilot for a few hours just to work up necessary funds.
I highly recommend it.
CrashMD · Tue Mar 04, 2008 @ 03:08pm · 1 Comments |
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A week or so ago, I was chatting with Loli and dreams were mentioned. I went through the trouble of digging up my favorite dream, and I decided I should probably back it up here, since who knows if that site will delete my abandoned account or not. There were some other good ones I wrote up on that site, so I may bring more over in the future.
But for now; dream time. From June 14th, 2003
Alright, so, last night, I went to bed around 11:00 PM. That's insanely early for me. Now, normal people sleep eight hours. Normal people wake up eight hours after they fell asleep. Normal people would have been up by 7am if they fell asleep at 11pm. I am not a normal person. I woke up around 11:30am. Hooray for me! Well, one good thing did come out of sleeping so long. I feel much better. Okay, two things. Not only do I feel better, but I had a dream. Not just any dream, but one of those long crazy dreams with a story. I like those. You know what that means? Yup! Story time! yaaaaaaaaaaayyy! This first half of the dream, I barely remember. All I remember was some of the backstory. Pete was writing a book. I have no idea what the book was about, but it was non-fiction. Anyway, he was almost finished with it, but he had to go to see some once in a blue moon ceremony some tribe in some little country did. The publisher people said he could take two people, I guess, 'cause I came with him. That was the backstory, that was what I just sort of knew. Has that ever happened to you in a dream? Where you just know stuff, even though it never happened in the dream? Anyway, what I actually remember were bits and flashes, a building here, face there, disembodied voice, a playground in the middle of forest. What it all means, I have no idea. But here's where my memory kicks back in. Pete and I were going to the tribe's ceremony, which was in the middle of the forest. Of course. So we began getting closer and the forest broke into a clearing. There were little kids all around playing with a few parents watching over them. All in standard garb for a tribe that lives in the middle of the forest. In front of us though, was a house. Well, kind of a house. It reminded me of one of those old west saloons. Wooden porch with wooden columns and people sitting in wooden rocking chairs. Except, instead one of those swinging door thingies, there was just an empty doorway. We went in and it was a small, empty room, but in the back were some stairs that went up for just about a quarter of a floor. Probably the height of your desk. Beyond that though, was a giant cave opening. All along the walls were various decorations, probably telling some grand story. On the far side was a big hole in the wall, a ways up. Clearly for the leader of tonight's events. As Pete and I stepped into the cave, the room was flooded with tribals and music came out of nowhere. I looked at Pete and he just smiled and said, "Do as they do!" Do as they do. Right, what the ******** are they going to do? Looking around, I noticed people standing along the two side walls. Each of them was wearing some crazy mask, each more flourishing and grandoise than the previous, and people were walking past them, stopping to pray. In imitation, I walked along the wall, stopping to pray at the "god's" along the way. Out of the corner of my eye, Pete was trying to contain his laughter. "These people each represent a different sin. You're supposed to pray at each sin you've commited." Great, I bet this guy's incest or rape or something. Looking at him, he appeared to be chuckling to himself, as well as a few people around me. Bastards. Thinking more mean thoughts, I quickly moved up through the wall of sins and away from those mocking me. Before I realized it, I was up in front. Looking around, the entire room was filled with adults from the tribe, lined up in orderly rows and columns. Looks like we're about to line dance or something. The thought of all these tribals wearing cowboy hats and slapping their feet, like I had to in high school, made me laugh. While I dwelled on that thought though, the music picked up and the tribe started a dance. Everyone was lined up alternating gender and I looked to my side to see who my dance partner was going to be. She was beautiful. I took her in from head to toe and back up again. She had a body that I usually only saw on girls in my dreams. Perfect dark tanned skin, long soft legs, her breasts were a perfect size. Not so large as that I might suffocate in them, but definately not small at all. Long dark brown hair framed her face and her eyes seemed to shine bright in this dark cave. She smiled at me, looked about as if to tell me that it was time to dance, and began dancing. She picked up in the dance where everyone else was, and I began my attempt at mimicking the guy's movements. Luckily, the women did most of the dancing, but I had still had trouble keeping up. The beauty I was partnered with seemed to perform the dance perfectly. She spun and jumped and moved about with such grace. Her hair twirled and bounced with her, as if it was dancing as well. Throughout the dance, I struggled to keep my mind focused on dancing like the other men, but my thoughts kept slipping away when I looked at her. As she twirled, for a split second our eyes would meet, and she'd give me a beautiful smile that eradicated any chance of my holding on to my thoughts. As I watched her dance, captivated by her beauty and grace, I soon realized I was actually keeping up with the dance. Merely reacting to her actions. As soon as this thought crept into my mind though, I lost whatever kept me dancing and tripped over my own feet, tumbling to the ground and taking my dance partner with me. Recovering from my fall, I lifted my head and opened my eyes. Immediately I saw her eyes. They weren't angry or disappointed in my screw up at all. She was just amused and seemed nearly to laugh. As I looked about, I realized I was laying on top of her in a position a little too close to a missionary position. I became aware of two soft mounds pressed firmly against my chest. Looking back to her face, she gave me a coy little smile, and I had this incredible urge to kiss her. Fighting off those thoughts, I rolled off her and muttered apologetically and sat up. The dance seemed to be over and everyone was sitting up and staring expectantly at the previously mentioned hole in the wall. I looked up, but it was empty, and I watched and sat waiting. After a few minutes, an older man appeared above us. He had a big head dress and a staff. It all seemed a little clichéd. Then he started to give a speech, but I didn't understand a word of it. He talked in a different language. Just for the hell of it, here's a brief synopsis of how it went. Talky talky talky... CHEER! Talky talky.... cheer. Talky talky talky... Talky talky talky... laugh Talky talky talky talky talky talky.... CHEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!! Aaaaaaand End scene! My dream then cut away. Pete and I were following the talky guy from before. He was leading a small group of boys and us through a small cave tunnel that quickly opened up to a small cave room. The room was very decorated and well lit by torches on the walls. In the middle of the room was a large stone slab about the size of a short coffin. It was held up by four small columns at each corner, keeping the bottom of the stone slab at about eye level. The leader guy began explaining that this was a ritual before once every very long time. These boys had passed some preliminary test and one of them may be the one to replace him, if he can pass this last test. Apparently, the talky guy was picked when I was just a young boy and trained to defend the tribe from evil by the one before him. On the floor were blue markings. They appeared to be just scratchings and didn't really make any sense. Talky guy explained that the one to replace him should be able to look at markings and see the real pictures. I stood back and looked at the blue markings. They appeared to be made with chalk, but I had the strong feeling that they couldn't be rubbed away so easily. Looking at the markings, I squinted to try and get a better look. But what I saw wasn't a better view of markings, at least not the markings I had been looking at. In disbelief, I rubbed my eyes and looked at them again. They were back to normal. I squinted again and they changed again. "Whoa, I see something." The talky guy looked up and gave me a suspicious look, "What did you say?" "I see something. The markings are different, and kind of glowing blue." "What do you see?" I walked up to the one nearest me. It had been two vertical lines, one longer than the other, but now it was triangular. "This one's kind of a triangle. It reminds me of the Japanese Katakana character 'mu'."
And I forgot to write the last of the dream. Basically, I walk around seeing more complex items/writing that has more complex visions. One of the last ones was an empty book that actually contained a picture of some Senator. No Senator in particular, just some Senator-looking guy. After seeing everything, and being the only one to pass the tests, Talky Guy demanded that I stay and learn to fight the evil. The dream cut from that to my brother explaining to my mom that I wouldn't be coming home. She was crying, but became overjoyed when my brother showed her the backpack full of diamonds the Talky Guy had compensated us with. And that's the end.
BatChic, feel free to do your dream interpretation thing. Roze said that I probably just needed to get laid, which is certainly true.
CrashMD · Sun Apr 15, 2007 @ 10:08am · 7 Comments |
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So, Saturday I was woken up around 11:30 by my phone ringing. I rolled over and dug it out of the pile of clothes on my floor and saw that it was my brother. I figured that he just wanted to say Happy Easter or something, so I just dropped the phone and went back to sleep. The night before, I couldn't sleep until about six or seven, and was still tired. The phone rang a few more times, then I heard the buzz that meant I had a new voice message. About fifteen minutes later, I heard my mom approach my door, clearly talking to Pete on the phone. I pretended to be asleep, but she woke me up anyway. She handed me the phone and Pete sounded excited, "Hey! Do you want to come to Carbondale, pick me up and take me to see Jake's band play in St. Louis? Then The Queers are playing here Sunday. It'll be a punk rock weekend! What do ya say?"
Pete's had random, "Hey, let's go a road trip right now," ideas before, and they usually always turn out fun. "Sure," I replied.
He was surprised, "Really? Okay, but you have to leave like, right now."
"See you then." I hung up, showered, dressed, crammed some extra clothes in my bag and left almost before even asking how to get there. From Chicago, Carbondale (at the southern tip of Illinois) is about a six hour drive. I listened to music on my iPod and had a fun time. I've always liked road trips. Around the middle of the state is Effingham, which not only has a hilarious name, but next to the highway has built a giant cross. It's really kind of odd. It's clearly supposed to humble you, but really you just feel... oppressed. I don't know how to describe it, it's not fun to drive past. Though it is worth a good laugh.
When I showed up, Pete showed me around his dorm but no one was there and there wasn't much to see, so we left for St. Louis. I had to drive because Pete didn't have his license due to some unpaid ticket he doesn't remember. Also, he was drunk.
The drive to St. Louis took about two hours, and we arrived at the show around 10pm. We would have been there sooner, but neither of us had ever been to St. Louis before and we got quickly lost. St. Louis was surprisingly nice. I had heard that it was crime-ridden and rundown, but the part of town we were in wasn't bad at all. The houses were all nice, and there was a lot of trees and grassy areas. Pete and I both said that it'd be a place we actually wouldn't mind living in.
The show was in some kid's basement. I'd never been to a basement show, but it was fun. Pete got to see Jake again and he got to meet Al Burian. Pet had been talking about Al all day. Apparently Al is a writer, and a good one at that. He's got two published novels and is on the New York Times bestseller list. :shrug: I never heard of him, and neither has anyone else I overheard Pete talk to about it.
After awhile, Jake's band Candian Rifle went to the basement to play. They were great! Made me want to drive back and start practicing my guitar. Al was crazy. He was jumping on the amps and running through the crowd. At one point he accidentally knocked a hole in the ceiling with his guitar's head. Afterwards, we sat around for awhile and said our goodbyes. Jake wanted Pete to stay around more and crash with them when they eventually found someone's house to sleep in, but Pete didn't want to. He's become a bit of a germaphobe over the years, and some stranger's sticky floor wasn't very appealing to him. It wasn't to me either, so we drove the two hours back to his dorm and experimented with jerky flavors along the way. (Jalepeno good, Chicken Fajita bad)
Jake, Al, and the side of my bro's head
When we got back around 3am, the place was downright crowded. Peter introduced me to Allen, the 33 year old who'd been there for 15 years but didn't have a degree because he constantly changed majors, and Macaula (sp?) the older Ukranian guy who already had a PhD in GIS Geography, but hadn't left yet because he couldn't find a job. He was also wearing three heavy coats, a scarf, and an ugly orange snow hat even though we were all comfortable in T-Shirts. There were also brief cameos by Matt, the guy who used to live in the woods near campus, and Ian (I think that's his name) the guy who got stabbed in the head by the schizophrenic bible thumper that used to live there. That guy's now in jail for life and Ian's just fine. He, Pete, and I carried on a very lengthy discussion about Prison Break. Around 6am, we finally got tired of talking and we all went to sleep.
Pete showed me around the campus the next morning/afternoon, or whenever the hell we woke up. The rec center was like a mall, full of fast food places, book stores, and campus souvenir shops. Then we went back to his room and watched some movies while waiting to head over to Hangar 9, where The Queers were going to be playing.
We showed up around 8pm because we were told that the show started around 9pm, but it didn't start until after 10pm. This angered Pete because that means he could have watched Sopranos and Entourage, but missed it to drink beer and watch Ultimate Fighting for two hours. Anyway, he drank beer and I tried to take it easy on Rum & Cokes while local bands played and everyone waited for The Queers to show up. Finally they did, they rocked, and they left.
In that last one, they pulled up a kid they knew in the crowd, Zack, and had him play lead guitar for some songs. That's awesome that they do s**t like that. Plus, Pete said that Jake told him the night before that he knew a kid named Zack in Carbondale, and thought it was the same one.
Well, around 1am the show wound down and Pete was tired so we went back to sleep. I wasn't very tired though, and was actually kind of depressed so I didn't get to fall asleep until around 6 or 7am, then I woke up around 10am, drove back and began writing this. Pretty much, yeah.
o.0 You're still reading?
CrashMD · Tue Apr 10, 2007 @ 03:42am · 1 Comments |
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I picked up Guitar Hero II earlier today and I'm having a blast. Almost makes me not want to hassle Duff about getting my PS2 version back. Almost. I'm about five venues in and so far, none of the new songs have really wowed me. Maybe it'll get better, I unno. My 360 crapped out on me right after finishing "Killing in the Name" by Rage Against the Machine. I wonder if it saved my score? The X-plorer controller will take some getting used to. The whammy bar is a bit closer to the strum bar and is also stiffer, so I can't seem to be able to quickly hit it with my pinky like with the SG controller. Oh, and I was actually surprised when I opened the box and saw a cord. I thought the Xbox ones were going to be wireless? Meh, would have been cool. Oh, and I was doubly surprised when I discovered that there was no online play. Just leaderboards. But reading around on the nets has revealed to me that Harmonix has been hinting at releasing a patch for online play. It wouldn't be unheard of either, Rare released a patch that enabled online co-op for Kameo: Elements of Power, and even added new achievements to that one. Since I've been on such a Guitar Hero binge, I changed my multimedia. Girlfriend was always one of my favorite songs from GH2, and it seemed especially appropriate now.
Thoughts of Lauren seem to take over at random times. Sometimes I'll be sitting alone, or I'll be in the middle of a conversation with someone when I suddenly find myself staring at an empty spot. Not staring "off in the distance" like normal daydreaming, just sort of looking at something that isn't there. I feel like I'm living with a ghost. Earlier I was laying on my back on the couch, playing Hotel Dusk on my DS when I just couldn't shake the memories.
Crap, I was trying to write an entry that didn't include her.
CrashMD · Wed Apr 04, 2007 @ 07:04am · 2 Comments |
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I feel almost relieved. She'd been stringing me along for so long that it feels good to be let loose, even though it's not what I wanted at all.
After about an hour of unsuccessfully trying to strike up a conversation I finally went blunt and she told me the truth. I got the "Let's just be friends" line. I've already thought about it (cause I've had plenty of time to dwell on Lauren in the past three months) and a friendship probably wouldn't work. I still care greatly for her as more than a friend, and when she does get another boyfriend, I'll just about go suicidal if I see them together.
Full, Unabridged Transcript that I'll probably get in trouble for posting, Session Start (CrashMcDougal:PancakesAndDucks): Sat Mar 31 00:37:36 2007 [00:37] Crash McDougal: *poke* [00:38] PancakesAndDucks: *Deflates.* [00:38] Crash McDougal: Oh no! *races around to find a bike pump.* [00:40] Crash McDougal: So how've you been? [00:40] PancakesAndDucks: Alright. [00:41] Crash McDougal: I'm watching a movie right now. Piñata: Survival Island [00:42] Crash McDougal: "College kids vacationing on a tropical isle unwittingly unleash evil spirits when they discover an ancient piñata." [00:43] PancakesAndDucks: Sounds facinating. [00:43] Crash McDougal: It's wonderfully terrible. [00:45] Crash McDougal: So how's your day been? [00:47] PancakesAndDucks: Boring. I waited the entire day for Jon's stupid mom to let him hang out with me. [00:47] PancakesAndDucks: But she grounded him. [00:47] PancakesAndDucks: So instead I ran around and did errands for mom. [00:48] PancakesAndDucks: Library, groceries. Things of those sorts. [00:48] Crash McDougal: gonk You could have called me. [00:49] Crash McDougal: Well, what did Jon get grounded for? [00:52] PancakesAndDucks: Staying out at his friend's house, who lives literally three houses away, until 2 am. [00:53] PancakesAndDucks: And no, I had planned on doing these things with Jon, so it wasn't really like my day hanged all that much. [00:55] Crash McDougal: Well, I don't mind helping with hum drum chores. Plus I'm good for carrying heavy items. I could be your pack mule. =D [00:58] PancakesAndDucks: I'm good at carrying things too. [00:58] Crash McDougal: Yes, but why carry things when someone can do it for you? [00:59] PancakesAndDucks: I once carried a six-pack box of gallon-sized windsheild wiper fluid from one end of Sam's Club to the other. No handles on the box either. [00:59] PancakesAndDucks: I almost died. lol. [01:00] Crash McDougal: Good God, your arms must have killed. [01:00] Crash McDougal: Why didn't you use a cart? [01:02] PancakesAndDucks: 'Cause I didn't know they'd be a pack of six. It's hard to keep trak of things sold in just one gallon, and things sold in ginormous boxes. [01:03] PancakesAndDucks: Plus there were none out on the floor when I went to get it, so I had to wait for a forklift. [01:03] PancakesAndDucks: By the time they handed me the box, too late. [01:04] Crash McDougal: Well that sucks. [01:05] PancakesAndDucks: Meh. Whatever. I'm used to lugging my cousins around for all my life. [01:07] Crash McDougal: So how's school going? [01:08] PancakesAndDucks: Meh. [01:09] Crash McDougal: Well then, how's your family? [01:11] PancakesAndDucks: Fine. [01:12] Crash McDougal: Workin' on any projects you like? [01:13] PancakesAndDucks: Nope. [01:14] Crash McDougal: Get any new shelves? [01:14] PancakesAndDucks: Yep. [01:14] PancakesAndDucks: I finally got the thing that goes over my TV stand. [01:14] PancakesAndDucks: Present from mom. [01:14] PancakesAndDucks: Assembled it today. [01:15] Crash McDougal: Nice. Early birthday present? [01:15] PancakesAndDucks: Yep. [01:16] Crash McDougal: May 5th, right? [01:16] PancakesAndDucks: Yeah. [01:17] Crash McDougal: So, read any mangas recently? [01:18] PancakesAndDucks: Nope. Been too busy with school. [01:19] Crash McDougal: Well, seen any movies on TV or otherwise? [01:19] PancakesAndDucks: Nope. [01:19] Crash McDougal: How about TV in general? [01:20] PancakesAndDucks: Nope. I don't watch too much TV. [01:20] Crash McDougal: Hmm... [01:20] Crash McDougal: Any new posters on the wall? [01:20] PancakesAndDucks: No. [01:21] Crash McDougal: Watched any anime lately? [01:21] PancakesAndDucks: No. [01:22] Crash McDougal: Sooo... what do you do on weekends besides work and sleep? [01:22] PancakesAndDucks: I check up on Gaia and do homework. [01:25] Crash McDougal: Are there any teachers you like? [01:25] PancakesAndDucks: Not like persay, but there's only one teacher I dislike. [01:26] Crash McDougal: What don't you like about him/her? [01:27] PancakesAndDucks: She's kinda like... Not very caring. Basically what I've gotten out of her is this: "I moved to America with my daughter and my dreams of the perfect country were crushed and now I'm a sour wench who snaps at people who try to be polite to me." [01:28] Crash McDougal: Oh, she's like my neighbors. [01:28] Crash McDougal: They one the "Move to America" lottery in Poland and were sorely disappointed. [01:28] Crash McDougal: ack... They won [01:29] Crash McDougal: Must be getting late. [01:29] PancakesAndDucks: Yeah. [01:32] Crash McDougal: Hmm... I think I ran out of small talk questions. [01:35] Crash McDougal: *sigh* You're killing me, Lauren. [01:37] PancakesAndDucks: *Stab.* Am I really? [01:38] PancakesAndDucks: lol [01:38] PancakesAndDucks: *Staby stab.* [01:38] Crash McDougal: = / [01:38] PancakesAndDucks: What? [01:39] PancakesAndDucks: *Innocent look.* [01:40] Crash McDougal: Alright, I'm just going to come right out and ask. Do you still like me? [01:42] PancakesAndDucks: You're a nice guy and a great friend. You're funny. I like you as a friend. I don't love you. I kinda hate dating. It's not because of you. I just don't like it. It's kind of lame. [01:44] Crash McDougal: Well we don't have to have official dinner and a movie style dates. Just hanging out is a perfectly acceptable way to spend time. [01:46] PancakesAndDucks: Yeah. It'd be cool to hang out, and only that. But I don't want to date anymore. I just kinda hate being tethered down. [01:47] Crash McDougal: So we're broken up then. [01:48] PancakesAndDucks: Yes. But I'd like to remain friends though. [01:49] Crash McDougal: If this is how you felt, I wish you'd told me three months ago. I almost had an ulcer. [01:50] PancakesAndDucks: I'm sorry. >< I'm not very good with confrontation at all... I tried and tried but I'm just real chickenshit. [01:53] PancakesAndDucks: I really have been busy this whole time though. With homework and school and work. They weren't excuses. [01:53] PancakesAndDucks: u.u [01:55] Crash McDougal: I know. It wasn't just the fact that I've seen you only twice this year, but the fact that you didn't seem to like me much when we did go out, nor were you very broken up that we couldn't see each other that bothered me. Well, I'd like to try being friends and hanging out, but I honestly don't know if I'll be able to get over my feelings for you, and when you get a new boyfriend, it'll kill me seeing you with him. [01:58] PancakesAndDucks: I don't want to date anyone. I don't want a new boyfriend ever. I said it and I mean it, dating just doesn't interest me. I tried it, and I failed at it. I can't help it. [02:01] Crash McDougal: You weren't bad at dating at all. Those first few months with you are some of the happiest memories of my life. [02:02] PancakesAndDucks: I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. [02:04] Crash McDougal: That's fine. I feel almost relieved to have all this confirmed. [02:05] PancakesAndDucks: u.u I feel like a jerk. [02:06] Crash McDougal: No no. These things happen, it's not your fault. [02:07] PancakesAndDucks: Well, I have to be going now. I have work tomorrow and all. u.u *Sigh.* Sorry to just leave and stuff, but... yeah. [02:08] PancakesAndDucks: 'Night. [02:08] Crash McDougal: Alright. G'night. [02:09] *** "PancakesAndDucks" signed off at Sat Mar 31 02:09:04 2007. Session Close (PancakesAndDucks): Sat Mar 31 02:09:30 2007
Good God. "I just kinda hate being tethered down." What the hell does that mean? I'm her first boyfriend and it completely contradicts the "I don't want to date anyone," comment.
:sigh: I don't know.
I'm going to try and remain friends with her even though everything in me knows that it's going to only cause more pain.
I guess I'm just masochistic like that.
CrashMD · Sat Mar 31, 2007 @ 08:34am · 2 Comments |
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So, Lauren left today to go to Vegas with her half-sister, Betsy, and Betsy's mom. I talked to her on Saturday asking when she had Spring Break; hoping I might convince her to let me see her. But she said she was working all weekend, going to be in Vegas until Thursday, had plans on Friday, was working Saturday and Sunday, then back to the busy school schedule on Monday. In short, no ******** chance to see her until summer.
I've basically given up on dating her. I've tried waiting it out. I've tried pleading. I've tried demanding, but she just doesn't want to see me anymore. Yet, she still won't break it off with me. Maybe she's hoping I'll break up with her so she doesn't have to? I don't know. Those first two months were great, and I still hold very serious feelings for her, but the two times I've seen her this year she seemed almost offended by my presence.
I just wish I knew what made her happy at the end of last year, what's making her unhappy with me now. What changed. She never talks to me unless I start talking to her. She probably would have gone to Vegas and back without so much as a goodbye. Hell, I've even been starting up conversations in threads she frequents, but for some reason she refuses to acknowledge a single post of mine.
I guess if she doesn't want to talk to me, then I'll stop talking to her. I'll just sit here and wait.
CrashMD · Tue Mar 27, 2007 @ 01:51am · 0 Comments |
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