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Dear Journal:

Lately Since quitting "that game" and going to maryland for 2 weeks I had a lot of time to think and gather my thoughts. The reason I originally started playing it was because of curiousity, and eventually I got sucked into it. It was fun. I could look like however I wanted, and everyone liked it. It was all compliments and such, and for a while it felt good. My heart though, was a completely different story. I knew it was fake. I knew they didn't mean it. they were looking at my avi and sticking my personality to it. as the months went by I started to get irritated. I felt like I was being ignored for me. and I wanted to leave. but I couldn't. My real life was stressful enough and I wanted to escape so badly. I was a web junkie, and I was trying to get people on to the game to settle my own uneasiness. I feel horrible for it. I changed someone I think. Or maybe I changed? I don't know anymore. But the opp to get clean came. I cut all ties with those people who did all they could to keep me tied to the game and went to maryland for a vacation. I vowed to myself, NO INTERNET.(I got on a little bit to talk to you guys) It helped a lot. Reality never seemed so bright. the world, this world is a harsh one, but it is also a beautiful one. Ugliness and Beauty exist in this world and maybe the ugly is beautiful too. I accept it all. Present now, I'm finally starting to have a real life. and I thank god for the guidance to it.