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Warning: If you are too happy right now or too sensitive to read depressing material, do not continue reading any further. For those friends of mine who will go on reading despite that, thank you.
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Hello everyone.
As you can see, I've altered my Profile Page's contents quite a bit. Honestly, it's because I can't pretend to be all happy and sunshiny for everyone anymore. I'm sorry if it's not what you were looking for in a person, as a friend, to suddenly burden you with all of this depressing news. But, for me, reality has really just delivered a big slap to my face about everything that's going on within my life. I haven't been keeping up with a lot of things lately, this even includes talking with some of you occasionally and finding out how you're doing, etc.
I don't know how long this is going to go on, but I know it's not good and I've got a lot of things I have to sort out both on the outside and inside. I feel as if I'm starting to lose a lot of my friends to this.... diseased-like life that I continue to carry on day after day. Even though there are a select few people I've talked to out there that have gone through a lot of personal problems themselves, I acknowledge you all and have a deep feeling of respect for you, but I can honestly say from these personal problems of my own that have been going on for many years now, that you would never be able to understand.
Some of these issues I've had to try and cope with my whole life, and at several points have succeeded in controlling for a time, but my efforts are spent in vain, as the problems only seek me out again and cause me further trouble. The pain and hurt just goes too deep sometimes, and the hope for reparation or the healing of the mental wounds that you've received just seem too impossible to even consider. I'm just really confused, upset, and depressed about what decision I'm truly going to have to decide is best for myself, in the end.
And to those cold-hearted people out there who think that this is just a straight shot at getting attention from people, IT'S NOT. I rarely try and open myself up, because I've been given that response before by certain individuals, and have found it hard to express what I'm feeling, if I'm just going to be - metaphorically speaking - spat on for my efforts. I'd still like to try and keep in contact with the majority of you all though, in any case, because I'd like to make an attempt at keeping my friends close, even during the darkest of times. Thank you to all for listening, and I hope your lives are working out better than mine.
Lots of Love,
heart DappyCat heart
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