I have come to the point where I am in a state of exasperation so thorough that I have decided to create a rant on the subject. I am tired of seeing thesaurus humper descriptions. They used to be secluded to only feral roleplaying dreams, which was bad enough, but to my, and many others horror - have expanded into many other areas of Furcadia. The following is an example of the thesarus description that makes me want to throw up my recently eaten bagel onto the shoes of the people who use their description area in such a way. The wonderful translation is by my good friend Magi.
You see Cocoa Bluetail > Nigrescent n' tawny lupus jogs, talons digging into bailiwick. Tympanums foreward, taberies gaze 'pon periphery 'o glebe. Orifice parted widly in a yawn, porcelains showed. Statueaque stalwart anatomy bounced, aigrette swayed to and fro. Figurine emitted barks exuberant and strenuous, serpentine held low to the lithosphere. Canid jogs onward.
You see A Direct Translation > Growing black and a light brown to brownish orange, any of various chronic skin conditions characterized by ulcerative lesions that spread over the body give a push or shake, the claws of a bird of prey digging into the office or district of a government official, usually a Bailiff. A membranous, external auditory structure, as in certain insects, is forward, (Made up word) look steadily, intently, and with fixed attention on a line that forms the boundary of an area; a perimeter of a plot of land belonging or yielding profit to an English parish church or an ecclesiastical office. An opening, especially to a cavity or passage of the body; a mouth or vent divided or broke into separate parts (Made up word) in a yawn, (Made up word) appeared. (Made up word) firm and resolute; stout bodily structure of a plant or an animal or of any of its parts moved jerkily, an ornamental tuft of upright plumes, especially the tail feathers of an egret inclined or bent to one side here and there. A small molded or sculptured figure sent out tough outer coverings of the woody stems and roots of trees, shrubs, and other woody plants full of unrestrained enthusiasm or joy and requiring great effort, energy, or exertion, of or resembling a serpent, as in form or movement aimed or directed not high to the outer part of the earth, consisting of the crust and upper mantle. Any of various widely distributed carnivorous mammals of the family Canidae, which includes the foxes, wolves, dogs, jackals, and coyotes run forth.
So it is part canine, part bird, part insect, and part tree. Fascinating, and we had to go to all that work just to figure out what the hell it was.
There are a few main reasons that people like this replace perfectly fine words with the longer kin they most certainly looked up in the thesaurus. The first is that they think it makes them look smart and cool. Perhaps most people are fooled by this misconception. To real writers however, such as myself, you look like an extremely insulting person picking their nose in public. Oh yes indeed, you are terribly clever. It's laughable, even. Using thesaurus helped descriptions makes you look the exact opposite of intelligent, or remotely "cool". Writing is an art. It is meant for enjoyment, by both writer and reader, as all art is. It is not a tool used to show off, or make yourself feel superior. If you use it in such a way, you are completely missing the point and making yourself look like a moron. What the hell are you doing? If most people cannot understand what you're writing, what's the point?
Most of the time, what has commonly been dubbed as 'thesaurus-humping' doesn't even use the words they dig up in correct context, as is shown in the bold example above. The thesaurus gives you a list of a similar or related words, not words meaning the same thing. Translating thesaurus-humper descriptions can often turn out making little or no sense. Stop raping the semi-colons and learn to write sentences. After that, get the point across clearly and correctly. Then you can have the gold star you've been striving too hard for.
Reason two - less literary people (being most people these days) see these "amazing", super-smart descriptions and writing, and to follow trends (a.k.a. jump into the sheep mentality of today) and thus be "cool" - copy them. Simple as that. They breed like rabbits. You don't need to dress up your vocabulary, short words are fine. Yes. They are AN OKAY THING. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you don't have a large vocabulary of big words, honest. Dressing up vocabulary is like dressing up your cat in doll clothes. Pointless, and everyone should be embarrassed. Stupid people might think the cat is cute (our equivalent of cool), but the cat sure doesn't.
Use the word that comes to mind first when you are creating your description. Meaning is a very big deal. A word is only the representation of meaning; even at it's best, a description will often fall short of what only you alone can completely picture in your mind. Given that, why the hell would you want to go and choose to use a word only similar to the one you really meant, and go further off track, much less making it harder to understand?
Having a giant vocabulary doesn't make you superior. A good writer is the one who can put a picture into the reader's mind as clearly as possible. Colourful words are fine, as long as they fit and can be easily understood. We want to read something and enjoy it. Not be attacked by a run-on sentence disguised by a barrage of semi-colons and commas, and constructed of long, rarely used, and only related words. This means we have to go find the dictionary and waste a bunch of time looking words up just to understand. That is is not fun. That is not the purpose of creating a description in the first place.
To all you thesaurus-humpers out there: Stop ruining the art of writing, you s**t heads. And wipe the drool off that thesaurus. That's no way to treat a book.
Unicorn_Girl Community Member 
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