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Life has been, interesting. |
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For any of you who get on or check these sorts of things, this is 25 year old My-My.
The years have been interesting, both good and bad, mostly good.
I was in Phoenix when this all started, some of you who I had come to know and often spoke to already knew that. The snippets of my life since I went off the grid for the most part.
2006-
I had my first IRL relationship, it was started on a bad foundation and the only real relationship I had to reference was my parents.. which was far from healthy.
I didn't think it would last, I doomed it from the start and my behaviors toward my partner were not even behaviors toward a friend.. I would like to think I have learned a lot from that chapter.
All in all, it was a fun year, new experiences and interesting friends.. I had a job and pocket money. This was also the year I discovered Raves, though I never did drugs it made me feel so happy and alive. I was gratful I got to go regularly.
2007-
The relationship was spotty, broken and then nothing, I had interest in a friend on here and my boyfriend had physical relations with a girl from our school. Both stubborn in not wanting to end our current relationship , we expressed bad and toxic behavior.. well that behavior escalated to the point of me becomin borderline and dissociative after we broke it off and he was leaving the state.. he had asked me to come back to him. It was a dark place made darker by a trauma I still to this day am figuring out where pieces go. I don't make it a point to know how he is doing in life, I do my best to keep tabs on where he lives so that our paths hopefully do not cross.
My mother was interested in legal charges or revenge for what was done. I had no interest, he would be gone soon enough. My oldest brother knew but never acted or asked until I wanted to talk about it. My father and my middle brother found out in 2014 for the first time what had occurred seven years prior.
This was when I cut my hair short and colored it black, I loved it.
I got drunk, decided being a poor kid from a poor family my braces were coming off because I thought my patents would never finish paying them off. I did it, quite successfully and no casualties in regards to teeth. I liked being the odd child and having no one talk to me, senior year, new look and a ******** you attitude.. everyone wanted to be my friend and I was not in a fun place for company.
2008-
I had another boyfriend for a few months earlier in the year too, unfortunately while he was kind to me, he was not too motivated.. I can't make someone do something they themselves do not want. I had to pull a lot of strings to get my parents to agree to let him stay with us since his grandparents kicked him out after he turned 18. The rules were pass your classes or get a job.. I offered to help him with his school work and help him learn the material. I even offered to help him look for work. When I insisted he was trying to find work because I was there with him when he was getting applications I later discovered them hidden in a pile and all still blank.. this told me he lied to me, even worse is he lied when it was my head on the chopping block. I left him. He is doing well it seems these days, he seems happy with his current partner and her children.
We moved to a new house but I was taken to and from school so I could finish my senior year on that campus. I got to meet the boy next door, realistically his dad was talking to my mom "You have a daughter? Funny, I have a son." He was pretty rad, we would hang out, watch movies, go to the park and do the most random things. It was refreshing.
2009-
A chance to escape the ghosts, we left Arizona.
We moved to Florida for my dad's work, though it seemed like we moved a lot when I was growing up, at least once a year until I was in 6th grade, we stayed at that house for 5 years which was an interesting experience and through which I still have a small handful of dear friends and support. It was interesting being without my mountains, my parks and my safe spaces throughout Phoenix.
Later that year, my cousin Josh.. he was going to come visit.. only he never did make it out. The night before he was suppose to start driving out this way.. his demons found him first and my grandma found him soaked, pale and lifeless the next morning. It was storming out, no one even heard his shotgun go off.. then again, the stomach can be a hell of a silencer. I miss him every day.. even though we gave him hell for drinking, he knew he was loved.. I'm just sorry he felt so alone.
2010-
My oldest brother and the boy next door move out to Florida and came to live with us, he and I dated for a couple of weeks, there were some unresolved issues that made it hard for us to function in a healthy relationship at that time. I distanced myself to give him time a space to process.. it was a s**t move, it was the only thing I could think of.. once he came to terms, I was the only thing he could think of. I was a bad friend.
Starting dating a new guy, he's smart, he was closed off and he was interesting. He too had a rough set of previous relationships, it was nice to be able to be of support to him and he be of actual support and understanding to me.
My mom went on a family reunion trip for a couple weeks. I remember one night my brother and my sister( technically cousin but she's lived and grown up with us) were drinking and talking. The next day my brother asks I hang around the house and be with my dad. I did, up until he left for work than at which point I headed to my boyfriends house since I figure I didn't need to be there anymore. Boy was I wring, my brother was furious when he had found I had left.. my mother came home early, not to be with her family but to inform my father she had been with someone else.. that was the year family became dissected, a wound more than just to the flesh.. family is all we had known, all that was instilled and beaten into our overall development. Family was everything.. and now it meant nothing. I was afraid I lost my father, he was a shell of the man he once was due to his doubt of himself.. had he really been wrong in his moral code and how he chose to present himself.. why was he betrayed and was it actually his fault.. thankfully the girl that got away from him growing up got in contact with him. Words will never describe how grateful I am that fate saved my father.
2011-
The boy next door and I moved about an hour and a half away from our old house since the divorce, we were staying with my dad and soon to be step mom. I left my boyfriend early this year due to the distance and lack of transport on my end. It was understandable and mutual. I am lucky to have him as a good friend and ally.
After moving in together again at my dads new place as glorified house sitters while he travels for work and having been several months since the breakup, boy next door and I began hanging out regularly again, watching movies, cooking together, random shenanigans and misadventures.. finally he opened up and admitted could see why I dated my last boyfriend, that we meshed well.. he did not know we had broken up due to travel time and limited transport. Boy next door and I were in denial dating.. we liked each other but we were too afraid to admit it.. one of us would pass out on the couch and the other on the love seat just so we could sleep in the same room with the other.. too afraid to ask for the others company.. too sad by the thought of going to our beds alone. Finally we admitted we were dating.
2012-
Boyfriend and I have our own apartment, it was nice having a space that was just ours. Got to hang up all the game posters and make it feel like our own. Only downer was my step mom's dog got worms twice because of the grounds keeping there. We got to host all sorts of events and parties; It was fun having game nights and company.
2013-
We decided to try the friends as room mates, our awesome friends who were like minded in good times and party life styles were happy to find and share a rental house with us, it was a good year and they are still amazing friends of ours. We grew apart due to the fact boyfriend and I found a new taste in lifestyle and our roommates while may have had interest were also now expecting child and starting a small family of their own. I would like to think we are not so separated due to those differences
2014-
Boyfriend and I met a woman, she is amazing.. she can actually keep up with him in conversation and always challenges you to be the version of you that you want to become.. it was strange at first, the moment I knew that he loved her. I wasn't sad or upset.. I knew that look because that is how he saw me, it was inspiring to see that love, that need to protect someone so precious through your lovers eyes..
In October there were health complications but the roommates had a healthy baby girl.. mom still has hard days from time to time but she would never change having her health back over having her daughter. I am so happy they all have each other and live beautiful lives together. With that Roommates need space for baby dearest.
My dad offers for us to house sit again and be able to properly save up so we can move out to Colorado.. pretty much something I have said and wanted to do since my parents divorced. We moved in shortly after Thanksgiving.
That New Years, our girlfriend was the first person I kissed in 2015.
2015-
We knew our relationship had a countdown, we all knew that going in.. but it's hard for me not to talk about and share the people I love with other people I love..
I came out to my family as Polyamorous and introduced our girlfriend.. it was awful. I am just happy I have wonderful partners who love me and helped me get through when my family had let me down.. I can't say I expected more from them but I expected better than what I was met with.. my dad was the only one who was understanding though it was not aligned with his beliefs, he was happy if I was happy.
We were finally moving to Colorado, our girlfriend is staying behind due to having an amazing husband and four cats to care for.. as we crossed the Georgia line I found out my oldest brothers biological father had died, suicide.. and here I am.. driving away from him. It was the worst feeling in the world. Drama ensued no thanks to my mother and Colorado almost didn't happen.. we made it here safely, though not where we were originally intended on being.
About a month to two months after being out here I was doing a close shift at a store of mine an hour away from where I normally work. 20 minutes before close I was met by a man in a mask who came into my store and who pulled a gun on me. I work retail, it was bound to happen, I am alive and well. I am glad I was by myself so I was the only one they could hold accountable for my actions and inactions..
I will never forget the sensation of thick, cold metal pressed against the base of my skull.. they emptied one register and took my wallet. That wallet was my late grandfathers and one of the few pieces of his that I owned.. the only one I carried with me on a daily basis.
I miss our friends in Florida.. they were my first set of adult friends and all in all they are amazing people.. I am happy to have them forever imprinted in my life. I look forward to new opportunities and I will happily speak with any of you.
Know that for my old friends on here, I miss you and I hope you are doing well in life.
 Myuka · Sat Nov 21, 2015 @ 10:09am · 0 Comments |
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Myuka · Sat Apr 15, 2006 @ 12:26am · 3 Comments |
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Ugh...
i'm bored...it's first hour at school
no one's on for my to RP with
not like it matters slowly but surely they all drift away and yet another RP is forgotten.... >.<
Myuka · Fri Feb 03, 2006 @ 03:01pm · 3 Comments |
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That was awsome.....
My cousin passed out again so we put a lamp shade his empty beer bottles and a bunch of porn around him and took a picture
But
We didn't stop there....then we went and taped a bunch of random s**t on him...oh I can't wait for him to wake up o.o
XD <3 Happy New Years everyone
Myuka · Sun Jan 01, 2006 @ 07:46am · 2 Comments |
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I feel like a ninja I'm online during my photography class ^-^ Pheer my mad skill of being lazy.... domokun
Myuka · Tue Dec 13, 2005 @ 02:49pm · 2 Comments |
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MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL! now....this is my cousin...He got drunk and passed out well needless to say we had fun screwing with him
x1 drunk
x? beers
x1 string of christmas lights
x1 stocking
x3 random stuffed animals
AND CONGRATULATIONS! YOU JUST MADE A RED NECK CHRISTMAS TREE heart
Myuka · Sat Dec 10, 2005 @ 04:26pm · 2 Comments |
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spiffy collar randomness OMG the sleepy pills of happiness |
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Done fwah!*Falls to the ground unconscious*
Myuka · Sat Nov 05, 2005 @ 08:23am · 4 Comments |
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Eh not really but if some of you know already I trace my veins at school when i'm bored. When I do this I realized how fickle we humans are...if you cannot bleed you really couldn't die and i've been meaning to write a poem so here...enjoy.
"With pen in hand I trace
the only weakness of a mortal race
leaving a dotted trail
when released it runs so colorfully and leave things pale
once it breathes it seems to flourish
only to keep me alive and make me nourished
With shard clentched in fist
just follow the dotted curve along the wrist
from red to blue,blue to red
to nothing at all we all fall dead"
Myuka · Sat Oct 08, 2005 @ 05:45am · 7 Comments |
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