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One of my favourite part of a Harry Potter/Firefly crossover I've been reading. Somehow they all manage to include Jayne. xD
Go read it: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2857962/1/
By the way, this is more than halfway through the 29th chapter. It's awesome.
“Hey Harry,” Jayne said sticking his head onto the bridge. “Harry?” Jayne saw no one on the bridge, just a large trunk on the ground. “Who’s driving this thing?”
“I am,” Harry said climbing his way up and out of the trunk. “What’s up Jayne?”
“You were… in your trunk?”
“Well, I wasn’t alone,” Harry clarified, as he magically summoned a water bottle and began to cool down.
Jayne peered over Harry’s shoulder at the trunk. “In that little thing?”
“It’s bigger than it looks,” Harry said.
“Huh,” Jayne commented but was interrupted by River crawling out of the trunk as well.
“Cripes Harry,” River climbed out and was gingerly testing her left hip. “I think you broke my hi-”
“Ahem,” Harry cleared his throat loudly, interrupting her. River looked up suddenly and realized they weren’t alone on the bridge. She quickly tried to cover, “My hi- hymen.” Sometimes River thought a little too quickly for her own good.
Harry and Jayne just stared at her equally impressed at what she’d managed to say.
“Is that so?” Jayne said, not really sure what a hymen was, but could tell it was making River blush.
“Why don’t you let me heal that,” Harry said, holding back his laughter.
“That’s not… really…” River stumbled through her words. “Necessary.”
Harry put his hand over the tender area River had been pressing and incanted, “Reparo Homo.” He just left his wand strapped to his forearm and let his hand put pressure to see if she had broken her hip.
River didn’t need to hear Jayne’s evil giggling to know how it must have looked with Harry’s hand sending magic into her pelvis. She tried to ignore it, but that stupid healing spell always felt dangerously good.
Harry staggered as he usually overdid the spell.
“Thank you Harry,” River said, maintaining her poise.
“Do it again, Harry,” Jayne cheered. “Break that hymen, just so you can heal it again.”
“What?” Simon gasped walking in on the tail end of the conversation. “What did you just say?”
“Err… nothing,” Jayne replied. “Harry, I was just wondering if when we get to Jersey, we could swing by a post office?”
“Sure,” Harry agreed.
“Thanks, Harry,” Jayne turned to go back to his bunk. He explained proudly, “I gotta tell Mom about my girlfriend.”
Simon, River, and Harry all watched the slightly delusional man disappear from the bridge.
Jayne sat back in his bunk and tore a page out from the back of the Book of Jayne. He got out his trusty pencil and sat back to write Courtney Cobb a letter.
Hey Mom. It’s me. Jayne. Not a lot has changed since I last wrote you. Oh. Well, I guess Harry did lead us on a pilgrimage back to Earth-That-Was. That was a trip. But don’t tell anyone. The planet was pretty much what you’d expect. Just a giant orange ball hotter than a fresh frisked fox in a forest fire. Though a few miles under the surface we found an entire race of weird people who are like honorary descendents of Harry. They call him Master, even though it makes Harry uncomfortable.
Zoe got herself a taste of the Jaynes and won’t leave me alone. A bit clingy for a girlfriend. I may have to dump her. No… aww crud. Ignore the bird poop on this letter Mom. Harry’s pet has a somewhat twisted sense of humor. Silly immortal.
Oh well, I’m going to sleep now. Gonna try and find out how alone Harry may be in this universe tomorrow. He’s a bit of an odd one. He even brought a ship to life. Like it’s now a living thinking thing. A rutting ship. Weirdo.
Love,
Jayne
P.S. – Kaylee’s pregnant. Simon might even be the father. Who knows.
 Sihnon · Tue Apr 03, 2007 @ 06:44am · 0 Comments |
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D.L. Hawkins
You scored 45 Idealism, 41 Nonconformity, 33 Nerdiness
I ain't wearing no tights.
Congratulations, you're D.L. Hawkins! You've got a bit of a past to overcome, but you are a strong person and you care very deeply about the people you love. You are good at getting out of tight situations, however, you're not quite as good at simple, practical things like making lunches. Your best quality: Getting yourself out of difficult situations Your worst quality: No culinary skills whatsoever, refusal to don tights
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 38% on Idealism
You scored higher than 29% on Nonconformity
You scored higher than 44% on Nerdiness
Sihnon · Sat Mar 31, 2007 @ 06:49am · 0 Comments |
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I shall be updating this with links as I actually do them. xD
Let's see if I have enough patience.
100 Drawing Challenge
1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers
32. Night
33. Expectations
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams
40. Rated
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation
Sihnon · Tue Jan 16, 2007 @ 08:52pm · 0 Comments |
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So bored. Here's a WIP, if you're interested. lol.
Bwahahaha!
Sihnon · Tue Jan 16, 2007 @ 07:20am · 0 Comments |
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