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Blogging Again? Bothersome boys....... |
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It seems like a good way to get these blogs started is start talking about the situations I mention in last post. So, I'll break them down in a series of posts. This breakdown of events, thoughts, and emotions is partially so that I can process things better and not just to tell people what's been going on in my life. If I were to review things in order, I guess I should start with quitting the massage job I had across town, but I think I will go more in order of importance.
One of the big things that happened was my 17 year old brother getting arrested. He has been in and out of lock up since he was 13. He's gone through second chance programs, counseling, and camps. People have suggested rehab for addictions to week and alcohol. Nothing really seems to work with him. He just wants to be angry, no matter where that brings him. He had a really large falling out with our mother during the middle of the night, left home and showed up at the doorstep of our church around 1am. He told the pastor that our mother had threw him out and that he had no place to go. After staying the night at the church, he walked to my apartment and told my roommates he had been thrown out, so they let him in and texted me while I was at work and asked me to come home as soon as I could. After talking to him, I found out from my mother that he had left on his own, but she didn't want him to come back home. I let him stay on my couch for a few nights before my mother became really mad that he was staying at my place instead of either being on the streets or at her place where she could make him take responsibility for all of his court fines that she had to take care of. Of course this meant basically torturing the kid. She told me she would get the police involved if I didn't make him leave, and I couldn't let that happen because one of my roommates had a baby and I couldn't risk getting them involved. I talked to some people from church about finding him a place to stay since he was refusing to stay at our mother's home, and they agreed to help. Then I spoke to my mom about allowing the church to take him in, and after some convincing, she agreed. All he had to do was stay at her place for two nights, then he would have his next court date and my mother and the youth pastor were going to speak to the judge about where the church could place him. When I sent him off to our mother's, she called the next morning and said he never showed up, so we figured he had hit the streets again. There was still hope that he would at least show up to the courthouse the next morning. Instead the police picked him up at 3:00 the morning of court for breaking and entering. He had broken into about 8 or 9 places in my neighborhood during that night and the time that he stayed with me. He has been locked up since, and it's been nearly a year this time since I have seen him. My mother and I have hardly heard anything from him, and even though I am still upset with him, I miss him.... He is set to be released in two weeks, which is 3 months sooner than what we thought. I am nervous about this. It could be ok, but I get the feeling that it will bring a lot of trouble back into my mother's home, and I have seen her cry to many times over the years. After all this time and all of this trouble, I just wish that my brother would settle down, and stop causing so much trouble. But no matter how much we try, he just doesn't care. It's been wearing on our mother, and to me that's not an easy thing to forgive. So, we will have him home again soon, and I really am happy about that, but what it most likely will lead to again worries.
The next topic is the relationship that I had with Some Idiot. Everything started out well enough. Some Idiot would come over every weekend because he didn't have to work, and even on days that he did have to work, he would just come over after work and stay the night. He would show up while I was at work and clean my apartment, took me on a few dates, we just watched a lot of movies together, discussed books, and played video games. It was simple and fun. Shortly after I started dating him though, one of my roommates quit his job without having another one lined up and we were all tight on cash because of it. So, they pressured me to have Some Idiot move in. Some Idiot agreed, but we were both uneasy about it. At first it was ok. I got him a job at the grocery store with me so that he would have something more steady than temp work, and we kept having fun. After a few months though, he started ignoring me for video games, stopped doing his share of housework (leaving me to do his chores, laundry and cook his meals), then he stopped showing up to work on time and started calling in sick to often. It got to the point where I could go three days without him saying more than two words to me, and if I bothered him for a kiss or a little attention he would get mad at me. Then he started complaining that we were becoming distant, so I tried putting more effort into the relationship while Some Idiot kept up the same behavior. After more time he got worse. He began smoking weed, drinking, and partying a few nights a week. At that point we could go days without even seeing each other even though we slept in the same bed. He felt us slipping even more, but instead of trying to fix things, he decided to start going out with another girl. They were just “hanging out” he would tell me, and I had nothing to worry about. They were “just friends” and he still loved me. I knew he was lying, but I let him keep telling me the every time I asked because I wanted him to just tell me the truth instead of hiding what he wanted. He didn't have respect enough for that. I caught him in his lie when I got home from work one day and confronted the other girl. She went to the store while he was at work to tell him that I had found out. She refused to speak to him anymore. People at the store heard what had happened and they began harassing him for the way he treated me. He came home from work and yelled at me for ruining his relationship with the girl he liked, making him lose his friends at work because they cared about my feelings, and for invading his privacy (which I didn't actually do. He just didn't hide his lie very well). Somehow everyone hating him and the girl he was seeing behind my back not speaking to him were all my fault, and he had nothing wrong in the situation. My feelings didn't matter. We had a huge fight, then Some Idiot decided he would start putting a tiny amount of effort into keeping us together. He would a few little things, and when I wasn't completely in love with him again just because he bought me chocolate and did half the dishes, he would get mad at me again. This would make me withdraw even more, and he'd get more upset with me. Some Idiot thought that after 2 weeks I shouldn't be upset with him anymore. That I should just be over it. Some Idiot must have been completely out of touch with reality. I had decided then that it was done. Our lease on the apartment was about to end in about 3 months, and that's how much longer we would be together, even it even lasted that much longer (which it didn't). Around the end he got desperate because he lost his job for not showing up to work to many times. He needed me for financial support so he started paying attention to me, closing his game subscriptions, cleaning around the apartment, and in general being a “good boyfriend” again. Yet, it surprised still him when his last minute act of desperation failed and I still broke up with him and made it VERY clear that he would not be moving into a new apartment with me. He pointed out all of the stuff he was now trying to do right. I told him to bad. It was all to little to late and I wasn't going to support his dumb a**. He acted disappointed, but I knew he needed me more than he wanted me. So, that was the end of it. Some Idiot will never be a part of my life again.
Wow.... this ended up being longer than I thought, and there are still more things to write about. The next one I will try to give more of a happier tone. I feel as if this entry was a little angry.
 Captain Grace OMalley · Mon Jul 30, 2012 @ 04:15pm · 0 Comments |
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I guess I am going to try this whole blogging thing again. I don't expect anyone to really read it, but if they don't have any excuse for not knowing how my life is going. I'm also going to start up e-mail newsletters again to keep people updated. Don't really expect much from them..... but we'll see how they go.
So, where to start with this... I guess I'll just go back to everything major things that has happened in the past year....
Last summer I was working at a grocery store that sucked and a massage place across town that was an ok job. I quit both of them awhile ago. I started my own massage business last fall, and it has been one of the best things for me. My 17 year old brother had a huge falling out with my family, went on a spree of breaks in at convienance stores, and got arrested. He has been locked up since then and is set be released in about 2 weeks. It might be good having him home or it could be more a lot trouble. I got a boyfriend who turned out to be a idiot, cheating, douchbag, loser. We are broken up now. I had surgery for cysts on my ovaries and was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries. I am now in a crap ton of medical debt. My student loan company ******** up, put me in more debt and screwed my credit over. I moved out of the apartment apartemnt with my old roommates and my godchild and found a new apartment with only one other person living there. I have a new boyfriend now is being really good to me, and I found him just when I needed him. And I don't think there is anything else really major. This year has just been full or some large transition points (like 6 of them) and the little emotional dramas that come with them. That and basic family drama. I guess at some point I should elaborate on all the events listed above, but that takes soooo much time.....
For the future. I am figuring out my debt situation. Making plans to go back to college in the spring and begin moving foreward with my life again. I would like to go pre-med and use the medical knowledge to expand my massage business. I am bringing art and music back into my life to re-kindle some old joys. I also think I will enjoy my new man. It's been awhile since I've dated someone who is so attentive and caring. He actually feels ashamed if a women reaches for her wallet on a date, and looked at me weird when I did that out of habit on our first date. He's funny, I get to share plenty of nerd moments with him, and overall he just makes me feel good. I think having him in my life is starting to help a lot.
And that's the basics. Things above will be elaborated on in future entries, and new happenings will be told as they happen. Peace out y'all.
Captain Grace OMalley · Mon Jul 30, 2012 @ 12:26am · 0 Comments |
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