Not sure if its possible or not... Its possible for me at least... Which sucks hardcore.
So, my birthday has passed. It was both extremely depressing and relieving at the same time. I guess in my effort to make sure there was no fighting, I kind of made sure it was depressing... I didn't know that not forcing the day down people's throats would cause them all to forget me. I didn't know that by not wanting to have a get together would cause people to seemingly ignore my existence. I just didn't want a huge fight like last year, is that so selfish of me? Now that my birthday has passed, I know it was selfish of me. People count on that annual bbq as the first of the summer. I kind of deprived my friends of a bbq when I decided not to have one... I guess it was kind of foolish of me to want them to wish me a happy birthday when they weren't getting anything out of the deal. When will I learn? The one day of the year that can be all about me, and I felt completely forgotten... Lol, I haven't felt that depressed since high school.....
Look at me, complaining again. Geez, what is wrong with me? I DID get a birthday card from Geico auto insurance. I should be happy right? Oh yeah, I also got a card from my mommy. There, if I wasn't such a petulant child, I'd be happy. I SHOULD be happy. I got two birthday cards, two text messages and nine facebook posts, isn't that enough for me? No, of course not, if it was I wouldn't be complaining. I just want to get smashed. There are a few people that I want to drink with and one or two I don't want to drink with. Mostly I just want to drink with people who can shut the hell up, not be judgmental, and actually be civil towards my family. Feck, no one like that exists. A couple of my guy friends might work, but eventually if you get enough booze in them they just start talking about chicks and sex... Feck, again, no one like that exists.
Maybe I should have taken my brother's offer to have him make me "special" birthday brownies... Might have made me less depressed...
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Organized Chaos
Just a brief view into my screwy world, I hope I don't scare you... too much...
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