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There is nothing.
Nothing but my insecurities, and my fears,
That I try to hide so diligently
From you, that you may never see
How deeply
The madness goes.
I hide the anger and the tears,
For I cannot allow myself to trust
You, nor my feelings
Enough to leave my heart wide open.
Behind the smiles and the lies
Within this fragile mask lay
A child- still naïve and pained
By the depth of the scars
Life has imprinted upon her soul.
Can you even begin to imagine
The energy it takes
For that scared and lonely child
To wake up and live another day?
To act as if nothing is wrong,
As if all in her life
is soft rain and clear night skies?
I try so hard to keep this all from you
But I’m scared that this act will
Tear me apart inside.
In hiding myself from you for so long
I’ve convinced myself the lies I live
Are the real me,
Are the truth.
Hatred
It seethes inside of me
Fire burning on the edges,
Escaping to the outside of my heart
Consuming my every being.
The fire burns so fiercely within me
I cry out to be saved, to be free
Only to be dragged under
Only to be consumed
By what I’ve created.
I’m drowning in this dark heat
With no sign of rescue
No chance of salvation
No piece of my heart
To be redeemed
My existence is forgotten.
 CyanideZydrateBeauty · Thu Jun 10, 2010 @ 06:11am · 0 Comments |
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Single's Revenge Day (humor) |
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Be warned, this may offend some, though that is not the intention. It is merely to amuse myself, and other fellow smartasses.
Mwahahaha! Since there is a Valentine's Day-esque topic, I would like to present to you: February 15th. Single's Revenge Day.
As anyone who has been stuck single on multiple V-day(s) knows, February 14th is known by a less invigorating name: Single's Awareness Day.
For too many years, we single gals (and guys) have watched candies, stuffed animals and flowers being given in the name of love (or just to get the giver laid, either way) and suffered in silence as we watched people sucking on each other like straws and other disturbing displays of affection (or affliction, especially with the clingy ones).
Well now, we shall strike back! By buying our chocolates the day after the 14th for half off and partying with other singles, we shall thumb our noses at those "involved in relationships" and celebrate the fact that we do not have restrictions, "Honey-do-lists", and clingy creepers trying to get in our pants (And yes, this does work both ways. I've seen some future cougars in the making on campus and it's enough to make anyone shudder).
So singles, celebrate your freedom! Buy your candies a day late for much less than that schmuck in the chokehold of involvement, and raise your glass high for the fact that while you're single, you still have a better chance of getting laid than that idiot that tried to suck up to his/her girl/boy friend on Valentine's Day.
Dreams are beautiful, until reality comes back to punch you in the face.
[img:af22f1881b]http://i587.photobucket.com/albums/ss318/Unconvincing/Repo/Zydrate.jpg[/img:af22f1881b]
Hate my life,hate my life, finally break down and pull out the knife.
Give death a try and come to the dark side. You know everything's better with a little cyanide.
CyanideZydrateBeauty · Tue Feb 09, 2010 @ 05:28am · 0 Comments |
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So life in general really sucks.... I hate this really bad ******** headache I've got too...
And I can't sleep.
wahmbulance
CyanideZydrateBeauty · Mon Sep 01, 2008 @ 05:49am · 0 Comments |
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Wish list (sunday, october 9th, 2005) |
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ok, my first wish list!
Black rose band
G-lol mistress skirt
Fairy wings
G-lol mistress top
fairy cloth
Alice's dress
felicia's gown
G-lol gown
k, that's it for now. don't want anyone to buy it, just needed to write it down, you know like goals.
CyanideZydrateBeauty · Sun Oct 09, 2005 @ 10:58pm · 0 Comments |
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okay a few questions come to mind as my first entry... mainly, what is a bump? and other things. I hope to get on here more often, and raise my money up enough that I don't look like a orphanage reject.. not that there is anything wrong with orphanages or anything...
okay now my head hurts.
CyanideZydrateBeauty · Sun Oct 09, 2005 @ 10:10pm · 0 Comments |
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