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The Gothic Origami Birdy's Journal
Inside are the ramblings of a gothic origami bird,she welcomes you to the darkest part of her mind and the deepest parts of her heart... She welcomes you to the tales she weaves and to the dreams she sees... If you venture inside beware of the ridd
Ewiah and Pan: Adventure Starts Here!
Most people called me Ewiah,at least those who talked to me called me Ewiah. I had woke again to find that around our small cabin another strong storm raged. We had been in the grip of icey winter only two days ago,but now it seemed that spring wanted nothing more than to knock old Winter on her butt and bring everything alive again.The first storm of many soon to come,of that I was sure.

Mother and Father slept soundly in the room down the hall,this was true because i could hear Papa's snores,sometimes mistaking them for lighteningless thunder rolling over the hill.And Momma wouldn't be up for another hour,she always slept the same times,worked the same patterns,and gave me the same chores to go as a sign of healthy interest in my life.Or so my father said. He never called her boring,as I had,so many times before this night.

My skin was itching,my heart racing in my chest with each strike the sky had to offer,there was something terrifying about storms this strong,yet something made me want to go outside. To do what? I wasn't sure,but it seemed right.

Upon clsoer inspection I saw that an hour had passed already and I would be hearing Momma stirring in her bed to go downstairs and make breakfast. She wouldn't wake Pappa until after breakfast was finished,but she would know I was awake and tell me stay in my room until she was done. She always did on stormy days,and she always made me do house chores.Never the outside work. As though she were afraid I'd melt and wash away in the tiny rivers weaving through the mud and grass.

Her soft footsteps were all I needed to get me up and dressing before she even needed to knock,peeking her head in as I struggled to get my dress over my head. I hated dresses,but Momma insisted that i wear them when Father was home so he didn't mistake me for one of the neighborhood boys coming over to play.

She laughed,helped me slip it on,buttoned it up for me and then set the rather large ribbon she had been saving to be braided into the only long piece of hair I had,ending and begining the braid with one glass bead on each end.

I loved the beads Momma had made for my hair,expertly painted with tiny scenes of fields or oceans,lakes with boats,or the one that I kept hidden,the special bead made just for me by my Grandmother Birtch. The reason I had my name.

Ewiah was the sound that the bird discovered on my birthday had made. It had broken right into my nursery window during a storm and pearched on the top of my newly made cradle while I lay below it,a sleeping three hour old baby.My mother and father were having trouble naming me,but as soon as they had come to what they thought was my saving the bird let out on simple EWIAH!,and flew off to be found by some teacher doing a birdwatch.

When I ask my mother and father why they didn't catch the bird and become famous for the discovery that was rightfully our family's,they just chuckle and go on thier ways.They never answer me things about me,only one person does. My Auntie Anna.

Once I was dressed and primped my mother turned my light off,leading me down the stairs to help with breakfast,which was never very good. We were having oatmeal again,flavored with maple sugar. I didn't have a taste for that sugar,only cane sugar,which seemed to be the favoret of the Ewiah bird that had been my first companion.

The children of the neighborhood had often teased me about being named after a bird's call,but they stopped when my father had heard them and put his hands on my shoulder,his bear-like shadow covering my own as he spoke."The Ewiah Bird is named after Ewiah. She was named one stormy morning at seven am,the bird was found three hours later and named after her."

The matter-of-fact tone in his voice showed that he did not approve of the older children picking on me,and when he had set them straight about my name and the bird's call they had stopped talking to me all together.

Sitting at the table,spooning another clump of already cold oatmeal into my mouth,I brooded about how unlucky I was to live in the stupid village. Most of the people lived in little huts,but father was one of the greatest bulders the whole world had! So he built us a nice sturdy cabin with the help of most of the village men.

Raven Point was the name of our village,and though I loved the Raven,I couldn't help but to keep my eyes set on the Ewiah Bird,with it's dark purple feathers, almost black in the dim light of the porch where it sat on the rocking chair. My eyes never moved from it,the oatmeal sitting in my mouth to,later,give me a very bad taste of maple sugar.It stared back at me without a sound until the storm died down enough that I could hear it.


My skin prickled,it was as though they really were calling my name as my Grandmother had said so many times before when she told me of how I was named.It wanted me to come play with it in the storm like its friends did.

I swallowed the bad tasting clump in my mouth,knowing if I spit it out into my napkin I would be in more trouble than usual,my father whistled as he came down the stairs,kissing my mom,smiling at me and then following my gaze out the screen door and to the bird."Good morning,Ewiah."

He had been speaking to me,but the bird seemed to repond back with a turn of it's head and then it flew off,I watched it until it was gone before answering."Good morning Papa."

Mother had already stirred him up some of the meal,making him look down at it with more disdain than I did. He loved oatmeal made with maple sugar,but he hated when it was cold.I knew he wanted to mention this to Mamma,but that would risk getting rapped on the head with the sticky spoon used to stir the pot. So his lips stayed closed around the spoon for a moment as he scraped it off with his lips.

I couldn't help but to laugh at him,his grimice was worse than mine,and as she always did,Momma knew he was making his face."You should have been down here when it was warm. It would have tasted better than. Both of you eat."

We smiled sheepishly at each other before trying to finish as fast as we could without tasting the hardening mass.After I had washed the dishes and cleaned the table Father said he needed to speak to me,so I followed him into the loft as he grabbed the water bucket to set outside for clean water to drink."I have to go with the group to the settler's camp for a few months."

The words hit me hard,and he hadn't even tried to break it to me gently.My voice came back calmer than I felt,none of the fathers ever came back the same!"When are you leaving?"

Composure,if it was one thing my mother had been good at teaching me,it was how to keep my cool on the outside,even if i was panicking on the inside.His words were even heavier the second time he spoke."At noon."

That was only a few hours away and I hugged him as an early goodbye,not planning on being around the house when he left,but I should have known he was going to give me something. Mother still says it was a gift from him to me,but I know it was really something to remember him by should he never return.

And so,only an hour later,I was sitting on his lap,waiting for him to give me the last thing he would give me the rest of his life,but the one thing that suprised me the most,was the story that came first."My little Ewiah,you are very dear to your Mother and I. Do you know why that is,Child of Ours?"

I shook my head,not sure why he was telling me that he loved me,just like he did every morning,but I soon found where the I love you was going as his words continued."Your Mother,as you know,cannot have more children. This is not your fault,Ewiah,so don't give me that look."

I had always thought it was me who stopped Momma from having more children, because how hard my birth had been,but as he talked,I began to understand more."You were a beautiful baby girl,Ewiah,and we were supprised when Old Codd told us that your mother was growing you inside her,because even then,she wasn't supposed to."

I nodded to show him I was listening to how I came to be."Your birth was a hard one,you were three weeks early,and a very small baby,but even so,your Mother was in labor with you for well over seventeen hours. And even though you were so small and so unexpected,we were happy to have such a beautiful baby."

They had often looked at me as though I couldn't be real,and this look made sence as his face took on the familiar expression and he touched the top of my head with care."The morning you were born your mother and I were so happy,but she was very weak,almost as weak as you were,and so she left naming you up to me."

From here on I was sure I knew the story of my name,but I had been wrong many times over."Your mother was suffering badly,and the doctors wanted to give her something to soothe her,but she refused,wanting me to name you before she slept. But sleep did come voer her,and she dreamt of a bird with the color of your hair.And the bird spoke to her,telling her to get up and see you one more time before she rested."

He seemed to be holding somethign back,tears,or maybe it was awe at the next part of her life."We heard the glass from the window break,the storm was flowing into your room and your mother had ran down the hall though she was so weak,we both ran to see what had happened. We thought someone was trying to take you! But instead,there sat the Ewiah Bird,it's feathers as shiny as your hair,it's eyes the same emerald green as your own are today.It named you Ewiah as it stood over your head,making you laugh with its curiosity.Babies aren't suposed to laugh so young they say."

I felt pride,confusion,and a little bit of disbelief. I knew Mother had been part indian,and that was why we lived in the village instead of the camp,but she never told me she saw things like Grandma did.Now that the story was at its close I could see him reaching for something beside his leg,raising it up for me to take from his hand.

I thought perhaps he would give me a doll,or a piece of cloth to make into a dress with the help of Momma and her tight stitches,but it was nothing of the sort.Not a new ribbon for my hair,or a set of bracelets.Instead,in his hand,was the most precious thing I could have ever wished for.A tiny kitten with calico fur and black tipped ears and tail."Happy Birthday Ewiah."

I admit that I gasped in my excitement and my mother came to see what I was fussing over,giving my father a raised brow,meaning they needed to talk,but her gaze softened whens he looked at the kitten and her voice was even softer."What will you name it Ewiah?"

I thought for a moment,running through the names in my head of people I knew,or of the names I had heard,but I couldn't find any that fit the tiny bundle purring in my arms.That was,until I heard it meow. It was a strange meow,as though it spoke words and it made me jump,but it seemed no one else had heard it,Pan,it called itself,and so that is what I named him."Pan."

It looked up at me and i smiled down at it,standing up to my full height and running off to find something to use as a collar to put his name on,it didn't take me long to have a piece of leathered hide decorated with some of my older beads and around his neck. He didn't seem very comortable,but i was calm in telling him why he needed it."If you don't have it on,someone might take you,or kill you thinking your wild. Will you keep it on for me Pan?"

I blinked in suprise when I thought I saw him nod and then I gave a small laugh."Alright Pan! Just stick with me and you'll be happy! Promise!"

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