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I really don't know how I feel... everything is so confusing, the one i love, I don't know if the feelings are still there or not... or if its mutual. There is someone else as well.. and I don't know who I love more. I am just a burden to him though. I think it may be easier to love the one who seems to love back and try to ignore feelings for the other, for it will rip me apart in the end if it doesn't end up that way... Its been about 5 months for us... he hasn't shown any signs of actually caring about me... Is it time to let him go? To switch the subject, I finally get what I want with my parent situation, I finally get to move in with my father, which may be one of the only highlights of my life. I am nervous though how it will work out in the end. I don't see how anyone can truly treat you right when they don't understand you. My mom doesn't get me, my father does and I truly cherish the relationship we share. My mother just makes it 3 times more difficult for me to understand my feelings because they are usually masked by anger at her for anything, her condescending tone, her accusatory state of mind, everything is my fault for her, or so it seems. And my friends, none of them truly know me, they don't know my real personality, they only know the mask I put on for them, to make them think that I'm not a complete loser, who knows what they would think if they knew... and the friends I have, they drag me into their little fights until I don't know who to trust in the end, I feel that all I know are lies. Stepsis hasn't been here in weeks, THANK GOD. Had a "little" fight with her dad and hasn't come back since then It is nice to not have her around... well I guess not really NICE but it makes things a hell of a lot simpler. I don't have to pretend to care about what she says or thinks. Heath problems with my grandpa, well the cancer progressively got worse until he died... God I miss him... Everything is just so mixed right now I am just so confused...