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less than a week until Melody's birthday. she would have been 28 this year. almost four years since she and Sean died. has it been so long? life is passing so fast now that my heart and mind arent in it. i feel as if im still 17 and waiting for them to walk in the door. how can it be 4 years? i lie in bed wondering if i'll ever be alive again. really and truly alive. not just living. skating by in a rut. thats what ive been doing. and yet i cant seem to break it. neutral