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This is actually the most private journal I have. I really don't know anyone IRL on Gaia, so...
I just feel really, really worthless. I feel like no one needs me or loves me. Same old, same old.
 rafusen · Tue Apr 11, 2006 @ 07:53pm · 1 Comments |
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I feel like s**t. I need a shower.
I need a new brain, too.
Augh, why is he always bothering me?
/size]
rafusen · Wed Apr 05, 2006 @ 12:56am · 0 Comments |
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I'm an idiot. I though today was Thursday. See how I lose track of time and space over nonsense....
rafusen · Fri Mar 31, 2006 @ 07:12pm · 0 Comments |
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Uh, just ignore this journal and start here----> Hi. Good morning, uh, afternoon. mrgreen
rafusen · Thu Mar 23, 2006 @ 06:55pm · 0 Comments |
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after much thought I have concluded that my existance isn't really any existance at all, much less a subsistence. i'm not sure why i keep living if being alive is more than it's actual meaning.
rafusen · Wed Nov 16, 2005 @ 01:52am · 0 Comments |
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Gaia's really going downhill./size]
rafusen · Thu Sep 29, 2005 @ 05:13pm · 0 Comments |
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Anyway, life still sucks.
Just a random update.
rafusen · Tue Sep 06, 2005 @ 03:10am · 1 Comments |
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I am so ******** nervous right now, my stomach is flip-flopping all over the place. Excuse the language.
It's probably not helping that I'm listening to Marmalade Chainsaw right now either.
I hate it when this happens...My mother and her goddamn self-worth issues, and my step-father and his damn "I must suck my kid's a**" -ness. They'll probably have a fight. I'll lock myself in my room.
Living at home makes me really nervous, sometimes.
I'm looking for a job tomorrow. I'll take anything (with the obvious moral restrictions). sad
updated:
So, now I'm at my sister's house. I guess that's it then, my step-ddad told us to get out. His kids put him up to it. I really don't care anymore at this point. So now, I don't know where we'll go, or what we'll do. I would've liked to have gone to school this semester, but now I don't know. I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up. There's no one I can cry on, and no one's going to say, "It'll be all right." It's just the same as always. Life never made much sense anyway. It's like a broken record that keeps replaying, and replaying, over an over, the same pain, the same stupid song endlessly. I'm afraid to turn it all off, because deep down, I don't want to die. But there doesn't really seem to be any reason to keep going either. why keep something as worthless as my life going? when no one loves you or needs you, what's the point? Isn't it the same as nonexistance?
Stupid life.
well, I've got enough pills. I could just fall asleep. Then I wouldn't have to feel anything anymore.
rafusen · Fri Jul 29, 2005 @ 01:36am · 0 Comments |
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