I was talking to a friend and I realized just how little I really know about myself. It was the questions like "How can you not know where you live?" that made me stop and think. Sure, there are the things I could see by looking in a mirror, but those aren't important. The things I'm honest about (or at least, think I'm honest about) don't sound like they could be real because I can't give the necessary detail.
This hurts me a lot less than it would if I told everyone I enjoy talking to. I'm starting to have second thoughts now, so I'm going to leave before I let myself get pulled back. No matter how much it hurts, I have to go now. The longer I wait the worse the goodbye will be. I can't explain this terrible feeling I'm having in my chest as I write this and I do hope that someday I might meet some of my old friends again.
Nana can't stop me from coming back out of sadness any better than I can, so I'm going to delete everything on my computer and start over. If I could, I would do an even better job and reinstall the entire OS, but, unfortunately, I don't have the discs for that. The more I type the harder it is to leave... I don't know if I can do this... But please, everyone who didn't think time spent with me was time wasted, hope or pray for my good health and my return after I have found myself...
I can't force myself any longer, so I'm going to let Nana deal the finishing blow...
Tama-chan, if you're reading this, I haven't forgotten my promise to you.
